u/Acceptable_Offer_387

To preface, I’m mainly talking about the U.S., though I think it could be applicable in other places.

There is a decent amount of people who would rather align themselves with a politician or political pundit over their neighbors. Even if their neighbors have the “opposite” political views, people will honestly probably have more common with those neighbors.

I work at a place and am paid to support those political pundits and politicians. Regardless of their political leanings, they all live a very luxurious life. This is especially wild when juxtaposed with their views on economics. Whether they are socialists or capitalist who believe in trickle down economics, they all claim that their economic policies will help the poor and middle class. There is an irony to them talking about economic policies (whether socialism or capitalism) over fine dining while tipping nothing at all. They also take first class flights and luxury ride shares to these dinners and talks.

While these talking heads talk about “how to help the poor and middle class” over these luxuries, a lot of your everyday people are at each other’s throats over politics despite having to put up with the same BS that is this system. Both the everyday Democrat and everyday Republican still have to put up with this BS job market. They still have to pay the same taxes. They share the same roads.

I understand that even within the generalization of “everyday person,” that there is variability. In my opinion, the elite live such a different lifestyle of wealth that it makes the variability within the general population look pretty minor.

All this to say, will society ever get to a point when general society isn’t so divided?

I think they should, but I’ve seen enough near collisions to where I’m starting to question things and think that there’s just an unwritten rule that it doesn’t and it’s just “cut in when you can.” It’s always either someone who refuses to let a single car in front of them or someone who tries to force their way in way early before the merge (even if there is no space).

I think I honestly come off as cold to many of my teammates. They’re doing the best to be nice, but part of me is kind of afraid that if I say something about myself, it will be used against me.

The strange thing is that this only really happens with my direct teammates or people I have to work with very often. The less I have to interact with someone on a business basis, the easier it is for me to engage in small talk.

I even notice this with my former workers (I’ve been at the same company for over a year, but have been with different departments in that team because I was in several temporary positions until my current permanent role). When I run into former coworkers including former bosses, small talk flows easier and it just kind of happens.

I know I don’t have to fit in perfectly and I do my job well, but I also don’t want to make my teammates feel like I hate them.

On a side note, I mentioned to a former boss how some people tend to feel that I’m cold because I just have “that look” when I’m spaced out or focused and she said that she doesn’t see that and it could just be an interpretation thing.

I grew up in the church. I stopped being Christian during high school, but have been religiously active in regard to Christianity in spite of my disbelief (continued going to church, Christian Bible study groups, etc.) for various reasons.

I want to be Christian, but I really just don’t believe. Granted, part of my reason that I want to be Christian is honestly pretty selfish. Being Christian will just make my life a million times easier because of the social circles that I am a part of (includes my relationship with my family, work politics, and much more).

I started a new job and so far, I’ve heard that I had a good reputation. While that’s nice to hear, it honestly kind of kills me with anxiety because I already feel super stretched. Seems like the expectations for me are super high and I’m given the most difficult case loads (basically I have to enforce compliance in accordance with company policies and government regulations) while also maintaining daily administrative operations.

I’m honestly ready to jump ship because there’s no way this is sustainable. I’ve been job searching a bit at other companies in the same industry. I’ve worked at this company before in the same role, but at different departments (as a contractor while my current role is a “permanent” position). Some of the previous departments I was in had the reputation of being extremely tough with heavy workloads and honestly, those other departments were easier. The case loads were difficult, but not as difficult as the ones I manage in my current role.

What do I do? I haven’t said anything about being overwhelmed because I’m still new and don’t think I’m in a place to make suggestions yet. The most I’ve said when my teammates asked if I’m overwhelmed was me jokingly saying that “nothing has blown up yet.” I know it’s super ambiguous and I think they have a suspicion that I’m overwhelmed or dissatisfied with the job, but I don’t want to ruin my reputation of doing well at my job by saying that I’m struggling. An ambiguous answer is all I can think to give in managing my reputation because I’m implicitly not committing to setting this as an permanent expectation by saying that “everything is going well,” but I’m also not overtly saying that I’m not a good fit for this job by directly saying that I’m overwhelmed.