u/Academic_Charity_545

My boyfriend (25M) and I (26F) have been together for a year now. It was all really good up until recently. I feel like he was always just indifferent so I pulled back with my emotional affection because I felt like I was bothering him. He pulled away from all of his forms of affection. About two weeks ago we got into our first fight, with him bringing up how he feels like I just don’t care anymore because he has noticed I have pulled back. I also said I pulled back because I noticed he did as well and felt like he didn’t care. So, you’d think everything would be fine now because we established we both care so much and thought the other was beginning to lose feelings. Nope!

Some of his concerns included me not initiating anything like kisses, hand holding, sex, etc. I amped it up and began doing that a lot since our fight. He, has not made a change yet. He seems to be super sensitive right now and just overall off (which he’s mentioned before that life is stressful right now and he doesn’t feel like himself)

I just began a really intense school program while he hasn’t quite gotten started with his career yet. I think a lot of his insecurities are also coming from my diverted attention from the relationship into school but it’s hard to say because he doesn’t open up much.

Otherwise, we’ve been attached at the hip for the past year. Great times, maybe 3 disagreements in total up until this point. I love him so much and we’ve been so solid but things shifted around February. This is both of our first, real, long-term relationships so I personally don’t even know what to make of it. A lot of my friends said they entered the bickering stage around a year, constantly disagreeing about something with their partner. All of them are still with that same partner 4 years later.

TL;DR : steady, fun, healthy relationship, starting to bicker one year in. is this a normal expectation? is this something that should be a red flag? what should i do as someone who loves and trusts him, but is also constantly afraid of making bad choices?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. It was all really good up until recently. I feel like he was always just indifferent so I pulled back with my emotional affection because I felt like I was bothering him. He pulled away from all of his forms of affection. About two weeks ago we got into our first fight, with him bringing up how he feels like I just don’t care anymore because he has noticed I have pulled back. I also said I pulled back because I noticed he did as well and felt like he didn’t care. So, you’d think everything would be fine now because we established we both care so much and thought the other was beginning to lose feelings. Nope!

Some of his concerns included me not initiating anything like kisses, hand holding, sex, etc. I amped it up and began doing that a lot since our fight. He, has not made a change yet. He seems to be super sensitive right now and just overall off (which he’s mentioned before that life is stressful right now and he doesn’t feel like himself)

I just began a really intense school program while he hasn’t quite gotten started with his career yet. I think a lot of his insecurities are also coming from my diverted attention from the relationship into school but it’s hard to say because he doesn’t open up much.

Otherwise, we’ve been attached at the hip for the past year. Great times, maybe 3 disagreements in total up until this point. I love him so much and we’ve been so solid but things shifted around February. This is both of our first, real, long-term relationships so I personally don’t even know what to make of it. A lot of my friends said they entered the bickering stage around a year, constantly disagreeing about something with their partner. All of them are still with that same partner 4 years later. TL;DR What should I do? Is this normal?