I’m a woman and there’s a guy I’ve liked for about a year, but I’ve been hiding my feelings because I’m afraid of rejection and getting hurt. When we first met in our shared community, he was nice to me, but then became strangely cold and avoidant, especially compared to how warm and outgoing he was with everyone else. Months later, we got paired together for a group activity and I saw a completely different side of him: sweet, funny, and easy to talk to. But once we were back in our usual community setting, things got weird and distant again. Then around the fall, out of nowhere, he started becoming much warmer and kinder toward me, talking to me here and there, making things feel less tense. Since then, we’ve had more chances to get to know each other during group activities, where things feel natural, but back in the normal community environment, we both seem awkward and avoidant again. Lately, what’s been throwing me off is that I keep catching him staring at me, he’s often already looking when I glance over, and he doesn’t look away.
A few weeks ago really made me question things. I was volunteering and suddenly felt someone staring hard at me. I looked up, and he was directly across from me just intensely staring at me—no smile, no wave, just locked in. There was nothing behind me, just a wall. I got nervous and looked away, but could still feel him looking at me. I can't tell if he likes me too or honestly i don't know what other reason he would be staring at me so intensely without looking away. It's a little bit confusing and i'm nervous to return eye contact in the slight chance that i'm wrong about this and he doesn't feel the same. I have been thinking though maybe I should try holding eye contact with him and being more warm? But i thought i'd post here before I do in case what i'm about to do is stupid lol.
What does this mean? and what do i do?”