u/Academic-General-603

This is just a random discussion post. I want to know what kinds of emotions you guys are deeply moved by in movies? I just watched La La Land and I’m sad with myself how little it affected me emotionally and I couldn’t even watch more than half of it. However, stuff like Grave of The FireFlies and Elephant Man deeply moved me. Just got me upset thinking I just don’t have full emotional capacity. Usually it’s really tragic, straight forward and grounded stuff I feel.

So I am officially diagnosed with moderate to severe mixed hyperactive/inattentive ADHD. The past couple years I’ve had chronic fatigue because of no diagnosis. I’ve had two independent people recently say they think I’m autistic as well. Neither is qualified for a diagnosis but one was my Naturopath and one was my Counsellor. I desperately need to understand the full puzzle of what’s going on with me and autism and adhd burnout seem to have lots of overlap. I’m worried about my future that without proper diagnosis I will be simply brushed off my family and my doctor.

I spent 4 years extremely stressed in engineering which could have contributed to me being overly analytical and emotionless. It’s hard for me to analyze my past emotional states before engineering without imposter syndrome. My life’s always been heavily dominated by strong hyper fixation to cope with a sea of emotions. Even before the burn out I’d often feel empty and lost without music. Absolutely no desire to connect with people at school besides a couple people that I connected with. Even those few people were annoying to me though because I would mask around them. Low self worth and trying so hard in school and make friends I don’t even like just to feel something. I’ve been called both deeply compassionate and cold/uncaring from people in my family.

Anyone have any insight? It’s so hard to tell if I’m reading into the past too much or maybe stress from school just turned me exhausted and emotionless.

Do you guys feel constant emptiness when you’re not in a predictable and safe environment around predictable and safe people where you’re able to freely hyperfixate? Fixating on music and movies at home makes my life so rich but once I leave my house I can’t regulate my emotions at all. Recently diagnosed but not in school cause of burnout. How do you guys actually survive careers and school? I literally feel very disabled and can’t imagine a path forward without that emptiness.

I was diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD a year ago and I really struggle with identifying my own issues because I’ll feel something internally but people outside like friends and family deny those feelings and say I’ve been fine my whole life in many aspects. They think I blow my ADHD out of proportion and just want to avoid responsibility. Life is seriously hard for me but I do it because of I have no choice in the matter. Leaving my house and my safe environment is constant overstimulation from the chaotic and unfamiliar. My thoughts become obsessive over anything interesting or worrying which mentally exhausts me and I’ve developed chronic fatigue because of it. I’m supposed to go back to school soon to finish my finance degree which I’m good at but I’m not sure I can mentally handle a finance career. Handling many daily interactions and tasks with deadlines sounds incredibly challenging but I’ve just never felt like any clear answer have presented themself to me in life. I have no idea what’s the proper trajectory for me.

So I constantly ask myself, are these really struggles I have or am I blowing things out of proportion? I masked highly in school I think and always looked forward to the weekend because being home felt safe. Everyone around me is getting homes, pets, kids, marriage, dating, but none of that has been for me and I’m 24 currently. Had a 2 month relationship not long ago but it’s too draining.

Anyone have a similar experience or advice? I feel misunderstood and I just one anybody I can talk to. It makes me feel pretty crazy.