u/Able_Confidence_5952

Did a lot over last 1.5 years after person left.
She came back for a bit, there were some movement that didn’t felt like coincidences, but she didn’t fully choose me.. she left again and a lot of conflicts happened that still feel emotionally charged… and this is after I tried consciously manifesting, which somehow makes it even more puzzling.

But I’ve done it before momentarily with SATS. I’d revise and imagine that we never fought - and she would come back (did not give full commitment). Or I’d use sedona method and just muster all the energy i have to feel only love - and she would come back and say some nice things but said thats only her 10% of the time.

So tired of this half assed outcome!

I started getting back to SATS this week, before the challenge was announced… and some days, they leave me feeling really puzzled and kind of bad.

All the 3d emotions that I’ve been feeling that did not get closure, on many occasions threw me off to go “no I don’t want this anymore”, to “maybe I just want an apology and closure” as if imagining the end felt so bad I couldn’t do it.

Anyone been through similar and can advise what to do?

So, 1.5 years of this, on and off. More off in the last 3 months, actually. I had other things to get busy with my life, and left it at that. Decided maybe just to move on.

Then I had some pocket of free time and decided maybe I’ll try SATS again. & I saw her + 3p in a foreign country that neither of us are from. Granted, she complained on social but that gave away the exact location she’s at - something she’s never done before, so I went to look for her, not knowing if she’s alone or with someone.

Some might say that’s interfering with 3d, ChatGPT says it’s just a coincidence. But, it honestly doesn’t feel that way to me. For months there was zero movement. I restarted SATS and this happened?

Anyway, for context: the last 1.5 years, even though I’ve used SATS (I think) to bring her back and we dated on/off for 6 months, there was a 3p. At some point I just ignored and assumed 3p doesn’t exist, so it was kind of annoying to actually see 3p in 3d.

Oh, and I used the opportunity to tell the 3p that SP had cheated on them with me. Something SP was planning to keep as a secret from 3p obviously. She didn’t seem remorseful either. So after the cheating happened (she stopped mentioning 3p during that time and and I honestly though it’s possible they’re over or that 3p never existed), a part of me also felt like I’m judging SP as a human. This old story needs to be dropped, for sure.

The thing is, over this whole period, there’s a lot of outcomes that says “not chosen” and this is something I just have no idea how to fix… Any advice on this will be much appreciated.

If this were a normal relationship forum, the answer would be so so straightforward: RUN.

But it's not. It's a lot about EIYPO, about assumptions of others and self.

I've been on this manifestation journey for 1.5 years now, but I keep getting hurt by her in 3d. I remember being at the start of this journey 1.5 years ago. At that time, I remember thinking, "Damn I shouldn't have been assuming she's narcissistic for the past 6 months!" so I tried my damn best to imagine her as perfect, as kind, as the version I wanted her to be.

Well, let's just say the last 7 months have been hell. I've been blocked entirely and things got pretty ugly. Psychologically I feel like I'm in a lot of pain, especially when I took the Neville mindset away and really felt my grief. I'm familiar with the teachings- ignore the 3d, EIYPO, but really, my life feels like it's on the line sometimes.

I love this person, but I feel like I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so much pain in 3d and trying to imagine her as not being narcissistic just feels so hard. E.g. Imagining her as someone who doesn't avoid hard conversations, doesn't gaslight, and takes accountability, when in 3d she is the opposite?

I guess the teachings here would 'blame' me for not living enough in my imagination, for giving too much power to 3d. A part of me is really afraid of going crazy! Need some help :')