u/5Mirthcoil

I have been a senior developer at this mid-sized logistics company for nearly four years. I built their entire internal tracking system from the ground up using Python and some custom scripts. It is not perfect, but it works, and I was the only one who truly understood the architecture. Last month, HR called me in and told me that due to "strategic restructuring and budget constraints," my position was being eliminated effective immediately. They gave me a mediocre severance package and escorted me out the door. It stung because I had put in a lot of unpaid overtime to keep that system running.

Fast forward to yesterday. I get a frantic call from my former manager. Apparently, the system hit a major snag after a server update, and the two junior devs they kept on can't figure out why the database is throwing errors. My manager sounded desperate and told me that "the whole operation is at a standstill" and that I needed to hop on a quick Zoom call to walk them through a fix. He framed it as a "quick favor for the team" since I know the code better than anyone. I told him that since I am no longer an employee, my professional relationship with the company ended the moment security walked me out.

He then tried to guilt trip me by saying that the junior guys are stressed and that I am "sabotaging their hard work" by leaving them with what he called "messy, undocumented spaghetti code." I laughed and pointed out that I had requested two weeks of dedicated documentation time three months ago, which he denied because "new features were the priority." I told him if they wanted my expertise, my consulting rate is $250 an hour with a four-hour minimum, paid upfront. He got angry, called me "unprofessional" and "petty," and hung up. Now, a couple of my old colleagues are texting me saying I am being a jerk and that I am hurting people who had nothing to do with me getting fired.

I feel for the junior devs, I really do, but I am not a charity. I was told I was a budget burden, so I am acting like one. I left the documentation I was allowed to write in the company repository. If they can't figure it out, that is a management failure, not my personal responsibility. Am I the asshole for letting their system burn?

AITA?

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u/5Mirthcoil — 14 days ago

I need some perspective on a situation that happened last night because I am honestly lost on how to handle the aftermath without making it weird. I m29 have been seeing this girl f27 for about three weeks. Everything has been going great, the chemistry is definitely there and we have a lot in common. Last night was our third date, we went to a nice cocktail bar, had some great drinks and the conversation was flowing. Around 11 PM she suggested we go back to her place to finish a bottle of wine she had. Obviously I took that as a green light and when we got there we started making out on her couch.

It was getting pretty heated and she seemed totally into it, but then out of nowhere she just pushed me back a little bit and said "I think I actually just need to go to sleep now." It was like a switch flipped. One second she is pulling my shirt and the next she is looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact. I didnt push it at all, I just said "Oh okay no worries" and started gathering my stuff to leave. The walk to the door was incredibly awkward and she barely said goodbye just kind of waved and closed the door before I even hit the hallway.

I am sitting here today wondering if I did something wrong or if she just got a sudden case of cold feet. I really like this girl and I dont want to ghost her but I also dont want to be the guy who texts too soon after being rejected like that. Should I bring it up and ask if she is okay or just act like it never happened and ask her out again in a few days. I keep replaying the whole night in my head trying to see if I missed a signal or if I was being too aggressive but I am pretty sure I was just following her lead. Has anyone else experienced this kind of sudden "vibe shift" and managed to save the relationship or is this usually the beginning of the end. I really dont want to mess this up by overthinking but the silence today is deafening.

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u/5Mirthcoil — 17 days ago