u/1evis1ittleasshole

I have been making progress lately. My sanctuary is the gym and its the one place I've been slowly interacting with other men. Its been so amazing but I realize I don't know how to interact with other men without feeling anxious.

I have had alot of traumatic experiences with cis men and always found a safe space in being feminine. I met two other trans guys at my gym (which is a relief!) but even with that one commonality they are still very typically masculine men who fit in much more than I do 😭.

Most my life I haven't had real friendships with men, every bro turned into a fuck buddy or boyfriend. I'm bisexual, but I always wanted to have real male friendships.

I realize I only clung to women for so long because the little fem queer boy in me felt safer away from other men. Its why I took so long to accept I'm a man. I've been hurt by men, my manhood rejected by men my whole life. I feel alot of anger too, alot of resentment. Coming out has forced me to unpack all this mess and idk what to do with it.