u/1800-SALVATORE

Am I reading into this, or is he acting like more than a friend?

“John” and I have known of each other for years, but only really talked at a Christian camp once. Recently I went back to a youth group after a long time, and he was there.

Right away, he recognized me and gave me a lot of attention, asking questions, following up, and keeping conversations going. At dinner, he chose to sit near me despite having closer friends there, then even moved seats to be directly across from me. He mostly talked to me the entire time, which is unusual for him since he’s very social.

During a group talk, he kept making frequent eye contact with me, smiling warmly, way more than with anyone else. I paid attention, and he didn’t do this with others. He’d also look at me first whenever something funny or unusual happened.

Later, he kept asking personal questions,like why I don’t like photos, and seemed genuinely curious, even when I gave vague answers. When my dad came up (he passed away), he later checked in privately to ask more and see how I was doing.

In group settings, he’d still try to interact with me, eye contact, small reactions, etc. He also made a point about acceptable age gaps in dating (we have about a 4–5 year gap), and directly told me I had to come to the next event. Then he added me on Snapchat.

We ended up spending basically the entire weekend together (both days, almost all day).
He:
insisted on lending me his jacket

bought me painkillers when I was sick and wouldn’t let me pay

always chose to sit next to me

checked in on me throughout the day

would naturally end up walking next to me, even if we weren’t together before

We kept drifting into our own little “bubble” within the group without planning it.

Our conversations were pretty deep, he asked a lot about my past, my dad, and my life in general, but in a careful, respectful way. It honestly felt like he was really trying to understand me.

He also had some softer moments, like when I fell asleep, he spoke to me very gently, almost protective, reassuring me it was okay.

One small thing: he took my hand to show something about his injured fingers (he’s missing one), and held it a bit longer than necessary. I was the only one he did that with.

Overall, it felt like I was getting a more attentive, thoughtful version of him than others do.

Am I overthinking this, or does this sound like he might be interested in me?

So sorry guys, this one’s gonna be a long one.

Am I reading into all of this? I asked some friends about it and they all said that he definitely has some sort of crush on me, but I need some outside perspective.

“John” and I have known "of" each other for years since our families know each other and have been a part of the same schools, christian settings, etc. But he and I talked for the first time at a christian camp we went to together. I remember the long conversations we had over lunch together, and how he focused mostly on me rather than my older brother next to me. But that's not what's important. Yesterday, I joined a youth group meeting that happens every week, but I haven't been to it in a long time due to a crowded schedule. Anyway, I had a really good time and was happy to see that he was there too, because I enjoy talking to him. I was worried he wouldn't recognize me because of how much my appearance has changed, but was surprised when he did remember me. Anyway, I quickly realized how much attention he was paying me. He asked me questions, follow up questions and wouldn't let the conversation die. When we were all going to eat supper together, he chose to sit close to me even though the table was huge and had many seats, including another table with the people he knew better and I assumed he would rather hang out with. He sat down on the end of the table while I was sitting next to it. But the table legs were weirdly spaced so my chair couldn't go closer to the end, creating a weird space between us. I didn't think much of it but a few minutes later he asked if everyone on the opposite side of the table as me could scoot over so he could move, coincidentally directly across from me. Despite there being other people at the table he only spoke to me the entire time, also despite being a very social person who enjoys talking to everyone at once. It was unlike him to direct his entire attention to one single person. He and I had so many in depth conversations it. After we ate a lady sharing some things to the group so everyone was quiet and watching her. During that silence he kept making eye contact with me and holding it, before smiling warmly at me. He did this countless of times, so much that it made me extremely shy. It was way more often and intense than you could imagine. He would look at me with this kind of fondness in his eyes. I figured this might just be something he does with everyone, but after subtlety watching him for a while, he never sought after anyone else's gaze, especially not this frequently or consistently. At one point we were both watching the toddler who was sitting next to us, and he turned to smile at me every time the kid did anything silly. I noticed that he did that anytime anything else special happened as well, it was more often than not that I was the first one he looked at when something out of the ordinary happened, usually giving me a shrug or confused smile. After the woman finished talking she asked to take a picture of the whole group. She mentioned that whoever didn't want to join could hide themselves or turn away, and I did exactly that. I tilted my body away and hid behind my hair, before catching him watching me curiously and he chuckled. After she took the picture he asked me if I didn't like being in photos and I agreed, saying that I've almost always been like this. He followed up with another question, asking if I was even like this when I was little. I told him no, but that it started when I started getting older and more conscious of myself (I didn't say the last part, that's just for your information). I said something that made him realize that I didn't even let my own mother take my picture, and that made him especially surprised. He didn't let it go and continued to ask more, asking if there's a specific reason why I don't like it. I told him I didn't know (I do but it's to embarrassing to talk about). But he STILL wouldn't let it go and said that he was just really curious as to if there was a reason for why I didn't like my picture being taken. I could tell that he was genuinely curious, and it kind of surprised me how interested he was in something so small about me. Moving on. My brother and I had a talk with him, and he asked if our dad was still in America (Because moved across continents a few years ago.). I kind of froze and said no, without elaborating. He then asked if he had moved to Norway with us. My brother had to be the one to tell him that our father had passed away a few years ago. John immediately looked extremely apologetic and guilty and apologized, saying that we had probably told him before but that it had slipped his mind. A while later we all went out to go do something, and he and I were one of the first ones to go back inside. He came into the kitchen while I was eating some grapes, and he asked if he was allowed to ask when exactly my dad passed away. I told him when, and afterwards he asked me if we've been to America since. I told him that we have only been back there once since we moved, and that was to attend the funeral and take care of everything that he left behind. He apologized, and then asked if things were okay. I simply said that I didn't know.... But that I think the boys (my two brothers) were doing better. He nodded knowingly. Anyway, I eventually mentioned that the others were about to play twister and we headed over there. He decided to join and I watched. (I was not about to play twister with 3-4 guys, that can quickly get uncomfortable.) Anyway, while they were playing he would still find a way to make eye contact with me and express how hard the game was, usually chuckling or giving an exaggerated smile. After a few rounds of twister they finished, and a conversation emerged, somehow turning into a conversation about age gaps in dating. John pretty loudly expressed that he found slight age gaps acceptable, as long as both parties are over a specific age. What made me pay extra attention to this was because he and I have an age gap (maybe 4-5 years?), and he was being overly expressive and drawing it out further than necessary. He also in a group setting told me specifically that I HAVE to come to the thing that's happening on Saturday, pointing dramatically at me. After this whole thing he somehow found my Snapchat and added me there.

We were together all day on Saturday and Sunday. Literally all day from 11am to 9pm. On Saturday it was 12 in the afternoon to 11 pm. So we were together all weekend pretty much. So much happened that it’s too much to write down, but I will say that it went very well. Two things that I will mention is that he lent me his jacket (after insisting many times before), and bought me painkillers because I was sick, not letting me pay him back for it. He even excitedly showed me his car on the walk back from the store, being genuinely so flattered when I told him I lover it. And every time we were put in a position where we had to choose where to sit, he would always choose to sit next to me. It was as if we were glued together the entire weekend. It’s weird, because he would always look at me even when I wasn’t the one speaking, and even while someone else was speaking. It would never be a full on stare, but more of a watching me until I looked back, holding eye contact for a few more seconds than necessary, smiling, and then either he or I looked away. He also in group settings would always every once in a while check in on me, especially since I’ve been sick all weekend but still decided to go. And when it comes to the micro choices, I also found it surprising how whenever we would as a group or small group walk from point a to point b, even if we weren’t talking before hand, he would always end up walking next to me and we would fall back far behind the group. It was actually a pretty memorable moment because we ended up having a little race to catch up to the rest of the group. But somehow, in any kind of setting, we would always end up being our own little group—inside of the group—you know? Mind you I never initiated any of this, it was always him. A lot of the conversations he and I had really focused on him trying to understand me better, especially my past. But also my future and present. He asked me more about my dad and what he was like, also about how he treated me and my family. He seemed to be very careful with his questions, making sure not to overstep. Sometimes it even felt like I was being interviewed by the intensity of some of the questions. And I DO think that he is a naturally kind person, but it’s as if I get an upgraded version of him. As if I get a version of him I never really see otherwise. He was also very…. sweet? after he found that I had fallen asleep while watching he and a friend of ours play ping pong? He said to me quietly something along the lines of “Aww, you sure are tired.” And after I nodded he said “You’ve had a long day.” In a really slow, calm, caring voice. It’s hard to explain the way he said it because his body language and tone can’t really be described with words, but it sounded very thoughtful and almost…. fond? It was as if he felt almost protective in a way. And also like he was trying to justify to me that it was OKAY that I had fallen asleep and that it was nothing to be embarrassed of.

One small thing that happened that I kind of took notice of is this. To give context, John lost four fingers on his left hand a few years ago and was able to reattach some fingers and switch some, but his ring finger couldn’t be saved, so it’s just a tiny nub. Anyway he was showing some weird tricks with it to the people around our table and then unprompted took my hand in his (the regular way to hold hands, palm to palm with our thumbs around each other’s hand) and moved the little nub around so I could feel how it felt. His hand remained holding my hand a little longer than necessary. I know that this is very likely to be nothing, but I do find it strange that I was the only one he did that to out of the entire group. I wasn’t even really paying much attention to the interaction he and my brother were having about his finger before he suddenly turned to me and did it. I was pretty confused when he offered me his hand.

Thank you to all of this who read this whole thing!
Am I being delusional or is he not acting like a regular friend would/maybe even is attracted to me?