u/178-26-06-2021consis

Its been a tough one, hate saying it and still hard to believe. I just feel alone, isolated and well I gave up my whole life not knowing it was i as a puppet. Anyway just want normalish people to talk to, text, call. Whatever just to get through these days without feeling i might aswell give up. I may be a bit shy atm but trust i never was this person. I was out going, open book and a lover not a fighter. Anyway im from Scotland glasgow. Chilled and love talking about life and problems. I was always good at listening and being reasonable. Give me a message if you want to. Kind regards M

House afloat- auto correct sucks dont it? Man I fucked up i married a vile woman and I will leave it at that. Emotionally traumatised and ptsd of a abuse but she didn't care at all. It was like love was game not a injury for me. Yes I said questionable word that day begging pleading for her help. But man now I see i got lucky and she chose to leave. I dont regret our time together nor our son but for what she paints me as. Its been worse than my dad passing, my hero 1000×+. My word would of hurt but anyone that has love would of seen it was in the moment not months of it after. I nearly lost my life literally to give her what she wanted and felt soo worthless by her remarks and actions. Now I see i need to be here for my boy and show him not to end up like I did. I took accountability and blame for trying to get her to see what she was doing. Well I wish her luck and happiness she said I couldnt be enough to give. 4 chances of 1 a week for 13 years. My boy wont be fool I will be there for him as I wished my dad was for me.

Msn you were my one, my chosen, my everything. I confined in you like no other. But I fell short a little, easy to fix and never do again. I relapsed my beautiful wife, I lost my heart and soul being ignored over and over and over. You failed to see you had soo many chances to help me ans just show a tiny bit. Im easy to please you knew that but guess you had something or someone on your mind. Yeah yeah im crazy for hearing moaning in the house certain it was you.... guess the ghost left with you though guess im not nuts after all. Look deny ignore it and blame me all you want. I relapsed baby hoping Id die to give you what you seemed to want. Thet failed I accused you of cheating since I had to deal with my mind ans heart bleeding to yet be ignored again. Well you called me worthless a no good monster. How dare I eh? Give you everything I had and accepted never to chosen or a priority to you. Fuvk your phone more attention than I did. Any i was a prick and yes certain things questionable but nothing we both havent done before and we always said forever. So I sit and ponder sober as can be. How is it wife tells me im all to blame. I begged for her to help, see i was breaking. Yet push me to the ground by words im nothing, laughing as you did, recorded me fucked up and it was the most terrifying moment in my life and you made a mockery of it and me. You are better and worth more. I was not safe or worth choosing. You wonder why I tried to end it then well no you didnt, as anytime tried to recover you made sure to knock me back down. 4 attempts of my life feeling I failed and was right I was always going to be nothing. Not for you to stick by me. You showed me EM I was only worth the house. F how I felt eh? Oh wait you took as abuse... funny how the cops said no to that eh? Fuck him i will twist and mold my story to hurt him mark him and get him arrested for my needs. Well now im at the other beautiful and yet to say you are what you are. You took all my confinment in you to air out as a joke. Hurt was not in your actions it was anger and hate. You intentionally aimed to destroy me at my lowest weakest point. You wonder why I sobered? Yeah no drug or person is worth my life. You were soo selfish and didnt stop to see. You actually nearly killed making me believe what you said. I was running for ruby our child we lost. I was ridiculed and shamed for it well attempt 2. I bought new clothes and was sober for 3 weeks. Emotions through the roof holding on for dear life. Well I smelled of pish my clothes were ugly and looked like I was fading away. A cop out. Then you locked me out the house screaming blue murder. That confused me soo much watching you smile at me while telling your mum and mine your were afraid and I was banging doors. Honestly I walked away ashamed this was my wife I married? What the hell happened. Well you went for it named called and said you were looking for better. To replace me it was and used my son against me. You promised never to it and yet all promises broken. 3rd attempt. At this point I was scared tbh you were showing no mercy for words were few but hurtful. But this? This was intentionally to make me leave the only place I had or well cop it. So I phoned the police. Advising driving past the house every couple days. Manipulating me for the house and aggressive blaming and hurtful remarks if I chose myself over your hate. Blind as bat you were. Well thats what I tell myself as I cant face you in the way you have treated me. So the cops then come to me to say you have wanted me throne out and blended abuse, they asked if I wanted to press charges but for my sons sake I declined. They then advised you were angry and your face changed evil. The cops E the cops said you were a danger to me. You then threatened to move with your mum to try push me out. Sat around the back when I was just getting better to taunt me and ignored me pleas of dont do this to me. 4th attempt and I really tried. A old man with a dog frantically fighting my legs to keep me here. It was my last go, guess god wants me to be tortured and to feel all of this. On top the trauma of loosing my son aswell my only reason i tried to stay alive in the first place ripped from me. Yet it was my fault for relapsing. Yeah 4 times in 6 months over the rubbish I had to put up with. Anyway I dont blame you I was weak at times but stronger more and thats the reason I accused you honey there was nothing else evidence wise to suggest anything else. Well you have made sure to destroy the family but blame all you want. I know the story and what you have done. I am proud to be me and be back to my loving caring self. I can only hope you find peace and love else where EM. I loved you I chose you and I broke my heart and soul over you. I really wish you the best but as lana says why think you can get better as its only for a while before the same old comes to light. Its just a different face. My love and person was worth choosing as no man or beast would do as i have and be me. Shes right you know. No offence to other guys and im sure there are plenty like me but I was brought to treat woman as if they were the only thing important in life as long as they show you love and being wanted. I tried E and asked and begged but tbh you made it clear you want more fun maybe? Or no bad or ugly in life. Guess you never understood marriage but hey 4 chances over 13 years no bad for guy id say. Anyway I cant forgive nor accept that im to blame. Yes I started the fight but you through our family into flames. You need to own that and take accountability as I have. I was always willing to choose you even over this but now. I want to see if you can do as you say and find better and more than I gave. I wont give you another chance. 4 out of 1000s I need to man up and say thats enough. Bye E, you were my all and the one. Guess theres more than one for me. Oh and the lies and story telling. Please dont teach our son that i took me years to escape from my family now I have you doing it. My boy doesn't need to be the same way. Truth prevails all.

My ex wife to be, I hate even saying that but she chose to leave me. Yes i aint perfect and I screwed up massively.

I accused her of cheating and coped with drugs.

She sees my as unsafe and even worse. A threat to her which anyone that knows me will find that laughable in a kind sense. As I am never a person to hurt or lower myself to that kind of person.

We had the most worst and out lf control fight and she told me that im worthless, better and worth more than I could ever give. Tore me to shred and didnt even care i was suicidal at moment but still it continued for months on end. I stopped and just took the pain and hurt. My forever wife chose to end us and destroyed the family life.

Shes demanded the house and offered nothing but pennies as thats what im worth. I loved this woman and still do even though what we both have done to each other I can never say its more worth than choosing her.

I know she feels that shes done with me and not inlove or wants me back. This I accept but it is tearing me apart. I know deep down shes not looked at me and who I was for her.

Im back to myself and choose never to touch another drug as im strong and better than that and well to prove me right I would be able to stay away if it meant one more shot.

My darling boo, my ginger princess. I married you with my vows standing strong, forever meant forever id always change for you.

You forgot to see id dedicated my life to you and our family but only as one not apart.

Lainy, you know its true. You gave up when it could of been fixed it always did when it was me and you.

I love you and will wait. I csnt see or want anyone else as its just going to be someone else's face but the same issues ahead.

I cant quite explain it as i have went through hating you loving you feeling everything emotionally and hurt by your revengful acts and willing to make me homeless and no thought of my mental health or me actually. But all of that seems to not matter and easy to forget in the peace we are giving each other and making me feel that I will always choose you if given the chance. Idk I feel stupid about it but the forever I promised seems to have tattooed my inner soul you have the master key and if we find a way to talk to each other without it leading to trying to hurt each other maybe you might see the door is your to unlock any time in our remaining years in life. I wont wait around and will chase life adventure and heal and tbh the comfort known my love even caged is there and ready if you ever choose me once more. Bye boo your always were the fairytale that was and could be that damn promise of mine to you at 17 becoming true at 20 has burned inside leaving the ashes smouldering never extinguished. Your on your todd but our home will always be yours if you choose to return. A house is a house but the people make it a home. Stay safe love true and know I will never hate you as I cant hold you in that way. I love you more popadom. From paranorman