u/14WordSS

I 19m was driving my friend 17m to hang out. I got in a minor no fault accident yesterday. No one was hurt just damage. I have been under a lot of stress recently including many arguments with my parents and them violating my boundaries over and over again and really bad depression and anxiety and sh and substance use and too much work and school. The second I hit the other car I started having a panic attack and made a lot of mistakes that made the situation worse that I won't list for legal reasons. I was worried about my parents being mad and violating my boundaries again and if I was was gonna face jail time and if the cops were gonna come and be mad and just the shock of it made me lose it. I haven't had one this bad in years just smaller ones especially more recently. I cried and was talking out loud to myself and doing these repetitive motions with my hands and apologizing over and over again. I just couldn't calm down. The fire chief had to stand in front of my car door to prevent me from running out into traffic to escape. I also cut up my arm like a retard and had explain to everyone that the blood pouring down my arm wasn't from the accident and I didn't need anyone to look at it. It was all sorted no one was hurt insurance covered it all I'm getting a new car and we still hung out after and had a good time.

It was just humiiliating. Even tho his side was hit he was completely calm. He has mental issues and arguably a way more stressful life but he was completely fine. He tried to calm me down and prevent me from running into traffic and begged me not to run off. I'm so embarrassed that he saw me cry and be hysterical over nothing. I know he lost all respect for me and probably thinks I'm weak and unreliable in stressful situations. I just keep replaying it in my head. It's the next day and I'm doing a lot better but still am tense and shakey and upset about it. Also any tips for calming down and moving past this? I keep wanting to never talk to him again so I don't have to face it but he's my best friend and ik he got over all of it. He said he kinda understands why I did it and isn't upset but idk he probably thinks I'm weak and emotional and it's killing me

I 19m was driving my friend 17m to hang out. I got in a minor no fault accident yesterday. No one was hurt just damage. I have been under a lot of stress recently including many arguments with my parents and them violating my boundaries over and over again and really bad depression and anxiety and sh and substance use and too much work and school. The second I hit the other car I started having a panic attack and made a lot of mistakes that made the situation worse that I won't list for legal reasons. I was worried about my parents being mad and violating my boundaries again and if I was was gonna face jail time and if the cops were gonna come and be mad and just the shock of it made me lose it. I haven't had one this bad in years just smaller ones especially more recently. I cried and was talking out loud to myself and doing these repetitive motions with my hands and apologizing over and over again. I just couldn't calm down. The fire chief had to stand in front of my car door to prevent me from running out into traffic to escape. I also cut up my arm like a retard and had explain to everyone that the blood pouring down my arm wasn't from the accident and I didn't need anyone to look at it. It was all sorted no one was hurt insurance covered it all I'm getting a new car and we still hung out after and had a good time.

It was just humiiliating. Even tho his side was hit he was completely calm. He has mental issues and arguably a way more stressful life but he was completely fine. He tried to calm me down and prevent me from running into traffic and begged me not to run off. I'm so embarrassed that he saw me cry and be hysterical over nothing. I know he lost all respect for me and probably thinks I'm weak and unreliable in stressful situations. I just keep replaying it in my head. It's the next day and I'm doing a lot better but still am tense and shakey and upset about it. Also any tips for calming down and moving past this? I keep wanting to never talk to him again so I don't have to face it but he's my best friend and ik he got over all of it. He said he kinda understands why I did it and isn't upset but idk he probably thinks I'm weak and emotional and it's killing me

I'm 19m and have been debating whether or not to go to therapy. I do have a lot of issues (suicidal thoughts, intense anxiety and depression, anger, sh, etc) but I hate therapy and don't believe in it and don't like being vulnerable but idk how else to get help. I've been wondering will a therapist still work with me if I don't want to stop sh? I don't see it as preventing me from being happy but just something I enjoy doing sometimes to cope with being unhappy. I don't want to stop and I don't see why I should. I'm not doing some retarded "positive" coping mechanisms holding ice won't make me not want to blow my brains out. What are your experiences with telling a therapist you don't want to stop sh?