r/yearning

You're the addiction and I am the addict.

You're death and I am deceased.

You're the flower and I'm the seed.

You're the sky and I'm the star.

You're the paper and I'm the ink.

You're the lyrics and I'm the song.

You're the rhythm and I am the rhymes.

We compliment each other so well, you see?

I have no right to get jealous over you and yet I do. It's selfish, I know- I want your attention all to myself. I love how you look at me but it breaks my heart to know you look at somebody else like that. I love hearing the sweet sound of your laughter but not when it's sparked because of somebody else. Is that wrong? I love seeing you happy, I love just knowing if you're okay. I think me loving you is causing me to spiral out of control. My restraint is breaking, everyday I want to tell you how I feel but I can't. I see how you're acting with them and it's making me want to cry, is that wrong? You're smiling and laughing with them and its shattering my very existence. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I'm not special...

-always wants to contact you via text or phone call.

-always has you on his mind when he wakes up or goes to bed.

-always wants to know how you spend your day, not to control you, but to have the feeling.

always has time for you no matter how busy he is

​

You got me feeling so high.

I can't lie.

You're my ride or die.

Your lips feed my feverish dreams.

Your words grant my wishes.

Your kisses make me wanna be your Mrs.

Your voice is what I could never avoid.

Your soul has me stuck.

Sharing the same pulse.

Heart beating to the same rhythm.

Turned me into a true addict.

You as the fuel for my addiction.

Gothic but I'm lovesick.

Emo with no memo.

Scene girl, oh, boy you started the scene.

Preppy but I'll prepare for you.

Stereotypes but you're my only type.

I wish I had your number so we could chat, and I could tell you I love you, and want you in my life, my life is so empty without you in it. I'm just waiting till the next time I see you again, God I hope I can tell you how I feel then, even if you don't want me at all, I just need to let you know.

(just needed to vent)

It’s been flooded with bots, OFgirls, and perverts.

Just want to feel again

Feel your body the way I did before marriage and kids

Absolute exploration of each other’s bodies.

Time and location did not matter just two young innocent bodies.

As time went by the lust wore off

Comparison settled in and the mundane invaded

Careers became a priority

We lost that spirit of connection now it’s manufactured lust

I yearn for those memories but now it’s filled with busyness

we blame our careers and children

But we are the ones to blame

We stopped exploring each other’s bodies

Because we treated it like a used them like a used highway motel. Just a stop on the way. No looking back

Now you consistently turn me a way

I look for other avenues because your absence is so loud.

I know it’s wrong, but my body wants

That Physical connection

The panic has changed. It used to come in waves, only when everything piled up too high. When life felt like it was collapsing in on me, when I felt like I was failing, drowning financially, or hurting for no clear reason at all. It would build and build until I couldn’t hold it anymore, until it burst out of me in anger or left me gasping through a panic attack.

Now it’s different. Now it has a name. Now it’s you.

All those feelings, love, hate, disappointment, hurt, they don’t just exist anymore, they revolve around you. And the worst part is I still choose you. Every single time. No hesitation, no self preservation, just you.

I love you so deeply it feels wrong, like my body can’t carry it without breaking. It aches in ways I can’t explain. My chest tightens, my breathing turns uneven, I gag on the weight of it, cry like something inside me is being torn apart. It’s not just emotional, it’s physical. Like my own body is turning against me, punishing me for loving you this much.

And still I stay.

I stay through the doubt that creeps in when you’re quiet too long. Through the thoughts that eat me alive at night, wondering if I’m enough, if I ever was. Through the memories I wish I could forget but can’t seem to let go of. I replay everything, every word, every tone, every shift in you, trying to find where I lost you or if I ever really had you at all.

It’s exhausting living in my own head like this, fighting battles you don’t even see. Loving you out loud while breaking down in silence. Smiling in front of you, then falling apart the second I’m alone. It feels like I’m begging for something so simple, to feel safe with the person I love, and somehow it still feels out of reach.

And the scariest part is I don’t know how to stop.

Because even when it hurts like this, even when my mind is screaming at me to protect myself, to walk away, to choose peace for once, my heart refuses. It runs back to you every time like it doesn’t remember the damage. Like it would rather suffer with you than exist without you.

Everything, the pressure, the spiraling thoughts, the suffocating need, it all comes down to one simple, desperate wish. I just want you to be right for me. To be good to me. To love me in a way that doesn’t hurt

I don’t think you understand what it’s like to be loved like this. To be needed in a way that feels like survival. For me this isn’t just love anymore. It feels like life or death. Like if you break me, there won’t be enough of me left to put back together.

It doesn’t wait for the right moment. It doesn’t give me time to prepare. It hits me randomly, violently, without warning. And I can’t hold it in anymore. I can’t pretend I’m okay when loving you feels like slowly destroying myself.

And what hurts the most is knowing I would still choose you, even if it ruins me completely.

Is it a crime omg… why does it feel like it then

To just want someone who craves you so intensely they make it known they’d do anything to see you happy

It’s so easy to give that energy why is it so difficult to find it

I need this 😞

I loved you until you made me hate you. Congratulations.

I better not see your sorry face in my life. You disgust me. You filthy disgusting manipulative emotional fucker. Fuck you

I hope you see me everywhere you go.

Fuck you.

Maybe one day ill see that notification.

A new message.

Even if its just a gentle nod to my existence

it would light me up

With the happiest form of sadness

And I would be grateful.

I know I love you honestly

because as much as I wish you were here for the bad times

I wish you were here for the good times more.