r/unhingedKenya

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My cousin brought her guy home for a family introduction. Later, we went to a local spot for some shots, which was fine.

On our way back at night, as we were entering the gate, I felt someone touch my butt. I didn’t say anything and never told anyone… but yeah, she’s cooked for sure.

I was actually surprised that the average age is around 16-17. Some of us had to waiiit for long. Probably due to strict parents and religion. When was your first encounter?

Can people actually be *realistic* with their so-called 'dating standards'????? I mean, you can't be a lazy bone doom-scrolling the whole day at the ripe age of 25 and still depending on your parents for money, and yet you say you want a woman who has their own money. You can't say that you want a 'naturally-light-skinned' woman, yet you yourself bleached to become so, and you still have low self-esteem issues!!!!!

You can have a type, but it's not a must for you to be your type's type. Have a good day, y'all 😊

Masturbation is the self pleasure instead of the natural act between two persons of different sex. Why is it that you can't not last long or go more than one round.

Though I was the main guy only to realize I'm the side guy...this girl had her ex at her place on 13th Feb banaa na Mimi aty naingia 14th like the man I am...Yani Niko kwa msupah alafu she texts the ex aty is it wierd that I miss you hehhhh😂😂 she lied to me that she dropped out of Campo ndo a try and get education abroad only to find out she graduated last year.. anyways....wapi kc jamani. then proceeds to tell me aty the ex hurt her and she wanted to revenge and she thought that her having sex with her would give her an upper hand...like women hua so dumb aghhh😂😂

Yesterday I got that classic “can I pull up?” call. Me, being a generous citizen of the republic, I even sponsored the Uber like a true investor.

She arrives, vibes are vibing, I even go full MasterChef, prepared food, set the mood, tukachill kidogo… everything is aligning like a well-written script.

Fast forward to “game time”… me thinking I’m about to enter Champions League finals.

Kidogo kidogo… plot twist.

Nafika hapo mwisho, madam ako fully on ‘maintenance mode.😭

Like… dashboard warning light is ON and nobody sent the memo???

At this point I’m just standing there like, “So hii ni demo version ama what?”

Honestly, communication is free. Ata unge-text mapema like:

“Bro, today ni soft life, not contact sports.”

Because now I’ve invested Uber fare, groceries, emotional energy… only to unlock “Try again next week”

Conclusion: Life is a series of unexpected updates, and sometimes you’re the beta tester. 😒

You meet a person and are interested in starting a relationship. They are not interested and even tell you to consider pursuing other people. Then the person discovers later that you have money and are doing well in life, and starts requesting to be in a relationship. Would you take them considering you initially had liked them?

sasa tell me why this someone is crying watoto wake 4 wajakula since morning 😂najua I'll be down voted but the audacity of having 4 kids you can't feed

If you need financial assistance go to

https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/

please stop scamming im not giving you my tinder account

She has not told me this exactly but it's something I suspect. During our early days I once broached the subject jokingly, she became very defensive and stated that she is fully straight na akanikasirikia.

Sasa I have been staying with her for the last week and we happened to be scrolling TikTok together. Her FYP are all gay dramas in the country, dancing cute studs😍 and following is all rainbows.

There could be a legit reason her TikTok algorithm imemclassify as 'lesbian' according to my understanding but what really seals it for me is that hataki kulala side ya ukuta kwa kitanda hiyo ni side ya mwanaume buana.

Mko aje?

Mi niko poa, nimeoga na my favourite Lanzo menthol soap, nmejipaka versman extra ice, nimeongeza Nivea deep extreme ndio nisinuke jasho, nimeweka clean bedsheets kwa my small bed. nimewarm chapo nilipika jana, nikazikula na chai.

Nataka sasa niwwatch Better call Saul season 4 hadi kwenye ntafika, nilale kidogo, nikiamka nioge tena alafu niende nienjoy my few whitecaps with hard earned money.

I hope life's treating you fairly brothers and sisters, if not, I hope things work out for you sooner.

HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS!

My problem is I don't wanna date people. I wanna date my wife, but to meet my wife I have to date people, okay? And that's where the issue starts for me. Because dating as a process requires patience, effort, small talk, and pretending you're interested in things that may or may not matter long term. I don't wanna figure it out in real time. I want it already figured out, okay? I don't wanna analyze conversations, decode messages, or wonder where things are going. I just wanna arrive at the final version. But apparently there's no direct route. You have to go on dates, answer the same old questions, and pretend you haven't had the same conversation in slightly different formats multiple times. "What do you like to do for fun?" Oh god. I don't know, I'd like to survive this process, that would be great. And you have to act normal about it, like this is exciting, like we're both just trying to figure out if this is worth continuing past the night. Meanwhile, in my head I'm thinking, "Are you my wife or not?" I need to know right now. I don't feel emotionally connected to this system, okay? But I'm willing to participate if I have to. I just wish there was a shortcut.