r/toddlertips

Just to give a little context my son has a speech delay. He’s been evaluated by a psychologist and it was determined that he is very self directed.

My son was suspended from day care for one week because he runs away from his teachers and they’re concerned for his safety. I’m very upset I constantly get complaints from his teacher. Things like “he didnt want to wake up from his nap” “he didn’t want me to change his diaper” “he didn’t want to stay at his center” “he didn’t want to leave the playground” I rarely get any good feedback.

They truly make me feel like my son is a menace and by no means am I saying that my son is angel. But I feel like they don’t want to deal with him, the don’t want to make any accommodations to help him.

I personally work as a teachers aid in an integrated classroom so I completely understand what it takes to work with children who learn differently.

I feel like it’s inappropriate for them to have him stay home for week, I also think it’s detrimental to take him out of his routine.

Anyway I just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same thing. Or if anyone has any advice or insight. Do we think this is being handled appropriately? If it wasn’t the end of the school year I would find a different environment for him but he will definitely be going to a different place for next year.

I’ve been doing the oh crap method with my two year old for the past week now, but he still hasn’t seemed to understand that he has to sit on the potty BEFORE doing his business. I always catch him and rush him to the potty and he goes willingly and seems to like sitting there. In fact he gets excited and claps if he finishes his business on the potty. he’ll tell me if he’s already gone on the floor but he won’t sit on it unless I tell him to. I try to watch for cues he gives when he has to go, but they’re so subtle I almost always miss them until I hear it splashing on my furniture :/ do I give this more time or should I take a break? We haven’t left the house at all and I’m getting antsy lol

I wanted to add that he is done with diapers. He was always pulling them off and he would scream and fight me every diaper change. I don’t want to go back if I don’t have to

My toddler is 3.5 and she recently thinks it is hilarious to annoy the crap out of people. She will make messes, do naughty things, ignore everything we ask, spit on people, jump all over people all while cracking up. And no matter how big or non existent my reaction is, she will keep going because she knows its annoying. I havnt noticed this behavior from any other toddler, is this normal? Any suggestions to curb the behavior? ADHD runs in her dads side, but its just so hard to tell at this age.

I (27F and first-time mom) have a two year old boy that is a wild child. he’s so physically advanced and strong but has no interest in sitting down to read a story with me or his dad (34M and first-time dad). He understands and listens to his dad and my directions and communicates his needs with body language, sounds, and limited words. his most used words are: Go, mama, mine, more, and dada. I’m.. having a hard time with this. I read that he might have a tongue tie as he had a really hard time breastfeeding I‘m more mentally inclined and his father is more physically inclined. Our son is clearly so much like his father and I’m getting worried about his lack of interest in anything other than climbing, running, jumping, dancing, and spinning. He loves anything that he can climb in or onto. He’s such a bright, beautiful boy.. It‘s breaking me thinking that I’ve failed him.

I hope I save a parent and toddler from a lot of grief with my post. (And I don't mean to imply that baths cause eczema with my title...I will explain.) Based on my deep dives and desperate researching, I believe the most common perception is that eczema is genetic and attributable to a specific allergen or irritant that causes the eczema to surface. From our experience, I believe the reverse is also possible: that a LO with a perfectly healthy skin biome and immune system can develop eczema if the skin barrier is not properly protected - which then causes irritants (that would otherwise present no issue to a healthy skin) to inflame the skin, perpetuating the cycle.

For abbreviated background: We had a perfectly healthy, happy toddler with no skin issues until 16 months. It was an incredibly dry winter and she began to develop a red rash on her face, which morphed into small dry patches on her back and flexural areas...into what is now categorized as severe eczema all over her body up to her eyelids. I never appreciated how devastating eczema is to experience as a parent; the mental load of endless research, the guilt and anguish watching your LO suffer and be unable to help, simply seeing your child's perfect baby skin scabbed and bloodied, not to mention the physical exhaustion (applying the creams, endless laundry, oil everywhere, the doctors appointments, etc.). We thought we had done everything right. Since birth we used all unscented soaps, detergents, sensitive wipes, dressed her in all cotton clothing, introduced food allergens appropriately, had HEPA filters for the air, water filters on the bath, soap only a few times weekly, etc. We tested her for every allergy under the sun, positive that some allergen had flared her up, and nothing was flagged. We finally arrived at the conclusion that sometimes the simplest explanation truly is the right answer.

Every night since birth including through the dry winter I had mentioned, we were giving our toddler a hot bath. We did not wash with soap every night, but we had a water filter on the shower, and made it hot, steamy, with the shower pouring on her skin for 20 minutes every night (she had a few colds so this habit started when we were trying to create steam to provide her with congestion relief, and she seemed to enjoy it so we made a ritual of it). We also had electric heat (very drying) in some rooms of the home. The "baths" (more like showers) also became longer as she grew and increasingly enjoyed playing with toys in the bath. A few times I questioned my husband about the temperature of the water because her back would often be very red and her skin was hot to the touch, and we are of course kicking ourselves now, but because it became a ritual and she enjoyed it, we did not think much of it. I also felt instinctively that baths every night seemed excessive but dismissed it because almost any suggested toddler schedule has bath time built into it every evening: it was our ritual since birth. As I have fully come to appreciate through all my eczema research: the simplest skin biome is incredibly complex, with interactions between healthy fungi and bacteria maintaining an equilibrium. Once the skin barrier is weakened it is equally complex to rebuild it and in the interim, nearly anything can irritate it, leading to inflammation and flare ups.

Water/baths, especially when skin is already dry: I know that there is research showing that daily versus weekly showers did not make a difference in eczema patients but I maintain that even water (particularly, hot water while the skin is dry!) can strip the body of natural oils and upset the biome; I am referring to baths breaking down the skin barrier in the first place (not the effect it has after it has already been stripped). (Further, as an aside, public water lines, particularly in larger cities, also routinely flush the water with chlorine and other irritants to prevent bacteria. Check what is in your public water and use a water filter). Our first mistake was the daily, hot shower-baths. The second was ignoring the warning signs as her skin barrier began to break down. A NP at our pediatrician's office dismissed our LO's issue as "dry skin, very common in the winter" without even seeing her (based on one photo) and without discussing any background with us or probing about our habits. So we occasionally put Aquafore on her cheeks and some moisturizer on the dry spots on her back, waiting for the weather and humidity to improve. We did not have a moisturizing ritual that eczema maintenance requires or change any bath habits or other things in her environment even as her skin was warning us that it was breaking down.

Where we are now: I am happy to detail the long, sad journey and countless creams and solutions we looked to for the past several months if useful for anyone. I will summarize to say that I tried everything I could before turning to steroids (LO is under 2), but after months of flare ups, we have turned to them. The plan is to use a higher concentration of steroids for a short period of time to allow the skin barrier to repair. In terms of cream we are using La Roche Posay Triple Repair Moisturizer, which has been a game changer. So many other creams seemed to burn and inflame her skin (my best guess after drawing commonalities with all these creams is that it was due to the propylene glycol). The skin is making progress. It is very dry but no longer red and inflamed and the eczema seemed to have stopped spreading. LO stopped itching. Hopefully we will prevail and see her skin return. But still will forever be kicking ourselves that we ourselves systematically broke down our LO's healthy skin over time. Babies and toddlers' skin needs protection; listen to your instincts as a parent. If it feels extreme, don't do it. I will update.

EDIT/UPDATE: Because others are telling me that this information is helpful, I'm adding an update. We are on day 5 of the two-week, 2x/day topical steroid treatment (DermaSmoothe FS Oil + Mometasone cream for spots and flexural areas + La Roche Posay Triple Repair Cream for moisturizing) and LO's skin is entirely clear. We were instructed to continue with a short, warm bath (soap only 2x/week). We are also watching her intake of high histamine foods and being very conscious of how we dress her, particularly in heat.

- We stopped using her previous bath soap which was gentle but had a light fragrance for Cervae Baby Wash & Shampoo (NEA approved).

- Switched to Molly Suds from Dapple detergent and rid the house of Tide detergent that other members of the household was occasionally using. Interestingly I noticed a lot of soap residue/build up in the washer (including the blue, scented Tide) which I hadn't previously noticed, indicating it may have a drainage problem. LO's eczema was worse at her collar, back, and flexural areas where she has pores and the skin made heavier contact with clothing.

For clarity, I don't think either of those two things (the scented bath fragrance nor the laundry detergent) was causing the eczema (these were the same products we had been using since birth, and she did not start having skin issues until ~16 months). But, along with the moisturizers, could have been contributing to inflamed and irritated skin once her skin barrier was weakened and already inflamed. I'm hoping I can figure it out so her rash does not return after we stop the topical steroids - it was so bad!

***UPDATE 2, 3 weeks into steroid treatment: LO’s skin is entirely clear except her skin is so fragile that she does scratch easily and has difficulty healing with the steroids (trying to avoid scratched areas and put neosporn instead)! We are on the last week of Dermasmoothe Oil, now only 1x/day after the bath. (2 weeks 2x/day and now 2 weeks 1x/day which seems to coincide with what others on this chain said about not stopping the steroids immediately after skin clears). Continuing the daily bath with warm water to lock in moisture. Continuing to use La Roche Posay moisturizer. Cervae Baby Eczema soap and shampoo 1-2x per week (I don’t love this for LO’s hair which is so greasy from the oils but want to be safe). Weather temperature here has still been volatile but humidity has been high and consistent. We see a pediatric derm this week. Not sure if she can lend much insight since LO currently does not have any marks on her skin, but I’d like all the insights I can get to prevent this from happening again, and the continued need for steroids.

I have been trying to get my son (4) to poop and pee on the potty for over a year now and he is no closer then when we first started. We have tried rewards, going in front of him, games, analogies, everything you can thing of isnt making any progress. I'm getting desperate at this point because we are trying to get him ready for preschool and kindergarten. He will hold everything in when he uses the potty and then let's go after a new diaper is on. I'm short of having no diaper and having him make a mess to get him to realize everything goes to the potty. I will take any hints, tips, and tricks at this point. Please help.

My 22 month old still gets milk in bottles. Bottles seem to be his comfort. He only gets one when he wakes and part of the bedtime routine. He will drink milk out of other cups but in the morning and night he will not. How do I stop this? Do I just cold turkey it?

Hello everyone,

I am trying to find fun activities for me and my toddler to do this summer. He loves being outside, monster trucks, cars, bubbles, paw patrol. I would love any and all ideas you may have.

Thank you!!

I’m at my breaking point. We’ve been patient, tried all the things, read all the books, paid for stupid courses and we are having accidents daily still. 30 month old boy. VERY smart, very verbal, very emotional. Understands the feeling and the action - either states it and we walk over to potty OR states it and just goes wherever on the floor and then says “whoops, pee pee goes in the potty!” And laughs OR doesn’t say anything at all and goes wherever

Did Oh crap method. He’s still naked/pants off at home now like 3 months later. He does Best when he’s naked, then we tried commando and it was a disaster. He won’t pull his own pants down. And will pee and poop in pants and not really care that much or complain for us to “wipe his butt and change”. Underwear are a total no go because they feel too much like diapers.

Do we quit and try again later? Or are we too far along? I feel like we’ve been at it for so long already and he’s only 50/50 at this point. I’m in tears daily cleaning up poop/pee all the time. I’m stressed now and not keeping my calm as well when he has accidents and I’m sure he’s picking up on my frustration :(

My 3 year old is just finally starting to potty train but she keeps peeing her pants and wetting her bed so when we’re out in public she’s in a diaper and I feel like other parents judge me…

My LO is 21 months and is showing signs of being ready to potty train. She follows directions, can take her diaper off by herself (the tabbed ones), goes 2-3 hours staying dry, and wakes up dry.

I plan to try the oh-crap method, and I have two weeks in June that I am off work and can stay home potty training her.

My concern is that she is starting pre-school the second week of July. The school is fantastic with potty training, but this transition to starting school will be new for her. She has only ever been cared for by family members.

My question is, would it be unwise to potty train (at least start) before she starts school?

My daughter is 2.5 years old, she is very smart and has a very good understanding of a lot of things, including how going to the potty works and why we do it. So far I've taken a pretty laid back approach to it, much like how I got her to eat vegetables and brush her teeth - show her how I do it, make it available for her but don't pressure her into it and voila now she eats veggies and brushes teeth like a pro, no fussing.

But it's not working for the potty. Over the past several months I have gotten her to go on her toddler potty a handful of times, to which I've offered lots of praise & small rewards. She understands, she's capable of it, she's not scared or anxious about it. It seems she just simply WANTS to continue to go in her diaper.

I've resorted to prizes (bribes 😞) special toys and games, going to do something fun, even candy, brownies, whipped cream (she's like a crackhead for the stuff) you name it, I've tried it. She flat out refuses. I'm at the end of my rope and my husband is really on my case about it, he says I should have her potty trained by now and I just don't know what else to do.

I've done hours of scouring google and reddit but all I've read is sticker charts and all the usual methods that have failed to work with her. Please tell me someone has some unconventional advice for a desperate mama!

I have a bunch of colouring pencils from various shops, you have to press very hard to get the colour to show with any vibrancy. My child is just over 2 so doesn’t press hard most of the time. Where in the UK can I buy pencils that have decent pigmentation in but at the same time not spending a fortune.

I swear when I was growing up the pencils were so vibrant (or maybe my parents just bought decent ones?)

I know this isn’t a great concern. But I feel that if he didn’t have to work so hard at making the colours appear he would stick at the colouring better.

I’ve tried wax crayons (which are better) but he chews the nibs off them so I’ve hidden them for now. And I’d prefer not to use felt tips until he can decidedly stay on the paper/colouring book.

Thank you kindly. X

It’s be Trailies, and as a person who suffered SA as a young person by an un blood related family member, these conversations are ones I want to have as early and as clearly as possible.

Has anyone used these cards?

Want to know before I pull the trigger and buy

Preferably free or paying for ads to go away.

I have downloaded what feels like hundreds of kids and baby game. I always look for the one that has like.. 3-7 free day trial and (try) to cancel the subscriptions before paying, or i just end up having a stupid amount of subscriptions. I am tired of downloading the games and having my 1.5 year old bringing the phone over to me complaining because an ad popped up, or because it’s prompting us to restore a subscription. I don’t mind paying $7 here and there to remove ads if that means I get a life time of none interrupted games.

I am also in Canada… if that makes a difference? And using apple products?

Hi so to start this off i want to clarify what i mean. I feel like im failing in every aspect to teach my toddler to function as a being,

some examples would be my toddler not wanting to eat really anything but wanting 2-4 bottles of milk every night and to clarify yes i do water down her milk and she only has a bottle a night she uses straws during the day and i have not noticed it affect her teeth. Back to the subject I have tried to offer my toddler NUMEROUS of foods including my cultured mexican dishes and the only thing she will SOMETIMES eat is tenders and fries but even that she will only take two bites of a tender and 3 fries. Im not sure if im overthinking this but seeing how much other toddlers can eat worries me about mine. how can i encourage her to take more bites of or try new food? without spitting out cause she also loves to do that.

2nd example would be tantrums!!!! she has SO many tantrums throughout the day I cant even keep track of how many. I theorize that she has so many of them due to being hangry never eating enough or being tired because she refuses to nap(which is another example ill get into later). some of her tantrums i can shut down quickly once i notice them starting other ones can last up to 30 minutes and what i do when she has long tantrums is i ignore her or close her in the room until shes calm. Is this normal for her age? how can i help her regulate her emotions?

3rd example would be speech. I know she is only two so this might not be so worrying but when i meet kids a little older than her they are speaking full sentences and my toddler only speaks 2-3 word sentences. i only wish to improve this for her sake in being able to talk to other kids and make friends at the playground when we go because she very much seems to want to make friends she approaches other kids but starts speaking in gibberish 💔. i would really appreciate some tips on helping her pick up quicker.

4th example would be SLEEPING. she hates taking her nap or going to bed she regularly throws a tantrum every time every day and when she wakes up she throws ANOTHER tantrum. i dont understand why she just wakes up screaming even after a full 2 hour nap. i am just so tired of constant tantrums i dont know what to do anymore. i have a constant headache and i cant even seem to regulate my own emotions anymore i need some kind of help or advice please🙏

My girl that turned 2 last month has been fighting her naps for the last 4 months. Some days she really feels like she still needs them but some days she genuinely doesn’t look tired. She used to fall asleep in her cot no issues but now screams if I put her for a nap in her cot. I’ve tried to offer quiet time with her books and stuffies but again she screams. She’ll sleep at nursery now (although she went through a phase where she wouldn’t nap there either). None of it ever affected bedtime. 8pm bedtime with nap, 7pm without nap. Except come last night. Slept 1h30 at nursery. Seemed tired at bedtime but ended up fighting sleep until nearly 11pm! Wtf. We did intervene when she was crying and I think we shouldn’t have as the more we went in the more she became inconsolable. We ended up having her in our bed when we went to bed and she eventually fell asleep but even then it took ages. We transferred her after and she slept until 7am. Her wake up clock is pretty good atm 6:30-7 regardless of when she goes to sleep.

I need advice. I feel like she’s too young not to nap and some days she absolutely needs it. The most she naps is 1h30. Do we cap all naps to one hour?

I just think behaviour is the problem it’s a mix of fomo and separation anxiety mixed in with a very stubborn big personality. You leave her to cry it out and she will be screaming the house down for hours relentlessly if we’d let her.

Staying with her until she goes to sleep also doesn’t work she just gets too excited.

Anyways big rant, please any ideas?

I really need to get my just turned two year old's throat checked at the doctor tomorrow but last time he clamped shut and when the tongue depressed came out he screamed his head off. We tried three times and the doctor gave up. Its the same at the dentist except hes worse there he thrashes his whole body in an effort to get away. This is all fear based. His behaviour the rest of the time is unbelievably good so we are at a loss.

Does anyone have any tips or ideas of how I can get him to open up ? I did buy a dentist toy that has the little mirror they use to look at teeth.

All I ever wanted was a girl, so obviously, I ended up with a boy. How do I deal with the fact that I literally despise all the typical "boy" things - the things he loves? I hate sports, dirt, bugs, dinosaurs, race cars, wrestling, etc. I love him immensely and want to like these things, but I'd rather punch myself in the face than do this stuff. I'd be so much better as a girl mom (which is why I wanted a girl). What can I do?