r/throuples

I have a unique throuple. I (41F) have been with my hubby (43M) for 21 years. We had started dating our Butterfly (27f) in June of last year. She moved in March of this year. To move in, she quit her job. I work remotely and Hubby doesn’t work. They are both HYPER sexual people. And I mean HYPER. Hubby keeps a diary of sex. For example, last week between blowjobs and sex, he had a count of 50. Add in masturbation, it’s 55. IN ONE WEEK!! Most of that was with Butterfly. With them not having jobs, they wake up anytime between 9-10 and go to bed around 12:30-1:30. Meanwhile, I wake up at 7:30 and due to my disability, I have to go to bed by 10:30 at the latest.
My venting is that I work a full time job, have a disability, still do a shit ton of chores and just am exhausted and not feeling sexual by the end of the day. I am getting soooo frustrated that they are always having sex and just sitting around. Yes, they do chores each day. But like, maybe 2 hours worth. While I sit here doing my job, being the sole breadwinner and then doing chores or exercising during my lunch hour. Our house is INCREDIBLY small. So all we have between us is a sliding barn door if they are in the living room or the bedroom door if they go in there.
I want them both to be happy. But damn… like I wish I could tell them to knock it off. 😖 it’s just not fair!!
I know that I knew that this would be the case when she moved in until she finds a job (IF she finds a job) but I’m getting so tired of it. For example, last night I went to bed at normal time. I was in the room for a whole 15 minutes before I could hear them having sex. 1 hour later…. Still hearing them. It makes me feel unwanted. It makes me feel like I am a bitch if I say anything about them having too much sex.
I dunno where I am going with this but I just needed to put it out to the universe bc I just can’t handle this. It’s honestly made me not want to be in this relationship anymore. But right now, that’s not an option.

I’m (31f) have been married to my partner (28m) for almost 2 years. We have a pretty good marriage, we have worked on our sex life and have 2 beautiful children that we both adore. But I still want to be in a throuple. (M/f/f)

In my last relationship, I brought the idea up and he was very hurt by me asking to bring in a women to our already 3 year relationship. He asked me if he wasn’t enough for me. I told him he was and never brought it up again.

Then after we broke up I actually had a couple threesomes (sex only) and I really enjoyed it but I wanted a family and I couldn’t see how a throuple could work as a family. So I kinda gave up on that dream and committed to monogamy and finding a partner that loved me and wanted a family too.

And I found that! …. But I still think about it a lot and worse is I think about it with the only woman I had romantic feelings for. (And no I’m not a lesbian that’s in a hetero relationship just wanting both). I love the idea of him falling in love with her and I dream of them meeting and I get to watch them instancely click. And of a life where we share everything and have more love than we could ever imagine. (I am such a dreamer!)

But maybe it’s just a fantasy and I should just focus on the decision I made when I got into another monogamous relationship.

Hello!! Im new to polyamory and wanting to learn some more about it before getting into a polyamorus relationship. A little backstory I've questioned polyamory before but due to a lot of internalized issues I never accepted it until recently. Ive been flirting with these two people (in a group chat with the three of us) and I definitely think id be into dating the both of them. They aren't a couple, we are all just friends but do flirt often, show romantic feelings etc and neither of them have any partners at all but are all polyamorus. Ive been doing several days worth of research.

Is it possible to just date them? By that I mean like how monogamous couples are but with three people. Is that still polyamory or does polyamory have to be constantly open. Sorry if this isn't making much sense I have no clue how to word this.

Is there such a thing as closed polyamory basically is what im asking.

Ive only ever been in one throuple/poly relationship when I was 13 and it was a dumpster fire as you can expect at that age. Im coming from the main poly sub but most people there seem to just think that its not worth trying or is too hard.

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the help with the beginning of exploring this new stage in our lives. We started seeing her two months ago and while there was a hiccup, our communication was amazing.

I can’t believe it but she was the first person we went on a date with and it’s like everything fell into place. She fits in so well. She has interests that we all share and things that only my husband likes or that only I like. When we are all together it’s a blast and when we do one on ones it is just as amazing.

We are waiting two more weeks and then asking to be official. We had a define the relationship talk and she said she just wanted a bit more one on one time which makes sense since we mostly did group dates. I’m just so excited about how well things are going.

All of our friends are being supportive (minus some of my old friends from church days) and we even told a few family members. The tough family members won’t be told until it gets more serious.

Again, thank you all for the support. I don’t have any poly friends so this group has been a huge help!