r/skiingcirclejerk

Sup boys just got to Utah with my bros and were stoked to hit the FRANK heard it’s gon be lit this year 🔥 my bent 120s got crushed in the baggage claim conveyor so i hadda cop some brand new ones amped to hit some phat pow on them but now I only have money for all the brewskis we’re bringing to the FRANK…….. what’s the best lodge trash in LCC to poach some food from? Obliviously im not a poser so im not gonna buy food like a chump

I am on the mountain with hoes routinely, unlike most of you. For those who aren't forever alone in their chalets, where do you go to grab your girl's titties on resort?

I'm not about to go all day without a bit of rub n squish so we often end up in the trees by the Emerald chair park, but I had a kid wipe out in front of us at the sight of some top quality ass spread on the snow. Distracting. Last week someone threw a full water bottle at us from Symphony chair (luckily she tit blocked it)

My wife and I visited Aspen this winter and had a great time. We went for 4 nights. Below is an unbiased opinion from a tourist for prospecting tourists coming from two people who travel all over.

Skiing/Activities: Elite. The skiing is second to none and this was on an off year. Enough said. We snowmobiled at T-Lazy Ranch and had a blast. The guides and staff were knowledgeable and pleasant. The Snow League put on by Shaun White was there that weekend and they put on a great event. Well organized, high energy, and the base level ticket allowed you to walk alongside the half pipe, too. Awesome experience. (10/10)

Nightlife/Apres: Elite. One of the highlights of Aspen for out of towners in my opinion. St Regis on Saturdays outdoors is a lot of fun and great vibes. Celebrities were hanging around if you’re into that and good music. The sound system at the Regis is very good. The Jade Room was really interesting to say the least. On mountain apres is great too. Can’t go wrong here. We walked by Belly Up and that sounded like it was popping with a bunch of people there too. Caveat for some, prices on everything is sky high. (9/10)

Shopping: Very good. Mostly the same flagship stores you’ll see anywhere. Gucci, Louis, Prada, Rolex, Hermes, etc. which is whatever. BUT, there are some really nice boutiques like Wylde for woman, Kemo Sabe was a fun experience the staff there is top tier, REVOLVE & FWD the wife liked a lot some cool pieces in there, and then the art from the outside looks very good too. The Boutique Ogier is ultra luxury and had really nice stuff. (8/10)

The People/Demographic: The people that live in Aspen, retail workers, servers, bartenders… these people are amazing. It’s the people that come to Aspen for vacation that ruined it for us. Walking on the street passing others while they endlessly look you up and down to see what you’re all about. Waiting for your table at a restaurant is the same. Full of people that think they’re way more important than they actually are. Great example was on an almost 70 degree day we passed this woman wearing a full fur coat top to bottom, fur head scarf, designer everything else, and of course a birkin… so insanely out of place for the weather and over the top. People all over just doing way too much. This really annoyed us the entire time because truly it was endless. (5/10)

Food: Pretty good for a Colorado ski town but nothing to hype about if you know good food. It is nothing close when ranking against NYC, Mexico City, Tokyo, majority of Europe, etc. The mindset we had going in was that the food here was going to up to that level based on what we heard, price, and exclusivity for reservations. Our favorite meals were actually the lunches we had at White House Tavern and Clark’s Oyster Bar (our favorite). For dinner, Wayan is overrated compared to what social media tells you but very cool ambiance. Matsuhisa was average compared to their other flagship sister restaurants they own. The other spots weren’t memorable enough to mention. (7/10)

Budget/Value: I would be prepared to spend. You can easily hit 15-20k if you’re not budget conscientious all things considered. Flights, Hotel/Airbnb, Ubers, 1k for lift tickets (2 days 2 people), go to top restaurants, core lunch spots, if you like fine wine/champagne, extra activities, etc. My wife and I vacation 3-5 times a year. For what we got from what we spent, we’ve gotten better for less elsewhere outside the skiing. (7/10)

Overall, we agreed we would go back if it was for a guys or girls trip. You cannot go wrong for something like that. As for other spots in the Midwest, we’ve been to Breck, Telluride, all of Utah, and Jackson Hole. We enjoyed Jackson Hole, Park City and its surrounding mountains much more and would recommend that instead.

EDIT 1: I was ignorant to the fact that Aspen and the other locations are not in the Midwest and stand corrected.

EDIT 2: If you’re a traveler looking for an honest review, this is one that I wish I had seen from someone before visiting. Make sure you read all the comments before you leave, they’re hilarious. Reddit is amazing.

So I have been to Gulmarg twice, once to learn snowboarding, and again the next year because I got hooked on it. It is like an anti depressant coming down the slopes, making S turns.

But guys, take some words of wisdom from me, never learn snowboarding/skiing in India because it lacks infrastructure.

I mean, what do you need to learn snowboarding/skiing? Equipment and slopes. And we suck at it. There are no beginner-friendly slopes, aka bunny slopes, anywhere in India.

There is an average slope in Gulmarg, locals call it the baby slope inside the golf course. But the problem is that it is too crowded and gives you a very short ride. Apart from this particular slope, there are even worse slopes in Gulmarg. They are either very short in length or short and steep. Beginners cannot learn there.

Another main issue is that there are no proper lifts for snowboarders. There are only 2–3 working lifts in the whole of Gulmarg, and they are always crowded. These slopes offer only about 150 meters or less of a ride, which is not enough to have fun or even a good way to learn.

Apart from this, there are government-run institutions where you can learn skiing and snowboarding at a subsidized price (₹10,000 to ₹15,000 for a 14-day course, including accommodation, food, and training). I mean, if you want to have fun and enjoy a heavenly experience of staying in Gulmarg, then you should consider these courses offered by IISM and JIM & WS.

But my friends, if you really want to learn, please don’t go and waste your time there.

After 14 days, you will learn as much as a person who has learned skiing in Kazakhstan, America, or Europe in just 2–3 days. The quality of infrastructure is awful. There are no proper ski lifts to go up the slopes, you get fatigued just completing 5 rounds of carrying the board up the slope, no proper instructors (these institutes hire locals who know how to snowboard and ski and are pros at their sport, but they are not able to communicate properly or understand what is needed). There are 40–60 people in a batch with only 2–4 instructors guiding them. Many people give up midway, not the course, but by mentally giving up on learning and just waiting for the course to end.

If you hire a private instructor, you are better off than going with these institutes.

See, Gulmarg is a paradise for snowboarders and skiers, but only for those who already know how to ride. People who go to Apharwat Mountain, the gondolas (Phase 1 and Phase 2), they enjoy, and that is the only reason foreigners come there and do backcountry riding because it is among the best in the world.

You might think locals have become pros on the same slopes that we practice on, so why you rant? My concern is that they are locals and we are tourists. They live there, they have time, and they practice for months and years. You, as a tourist, cannot spend that much time. it costs us money.

So how do you learn more quickly in countries like Kazakhstan, Japan, or Europe? The answer is simple, they have excellent infrastructure. They have amazing beginner slopes that go on for kilometers. They groom their slopes regularly. People don’t have to carry their boards up the slope every time they ride down. They have ski lifts and chair lifts that both skiers and snowboarders can use. You progress insanely fast.

I BET YOU GUYS, PRACTICING 2 DAYS ON A BEGINNER SLOPE IN KAZAKHSTAN > 14 DAYS IN GOVERNMENT INSTITUTE COURSES IN GULMARG/SONMARG OR ANY OTHER INSTITUTE OFFERING THESE COURSES ACROSS INDIA.

So my parting message for you guys is: if you want to learn snowboarding/skiing in India, just don’t. Go to a foreign country where the infrastructure is good. And once you have learned it, then Gulmarg is for you. Go to Phase 1, Phase 2, or Mary Shoulder—then you will have a crazy amount of fun.

And if you think that going to foreign and learning the sport is more expensive, then just accept the reality. SNOWBOARDING/SKIING are f'ing expensive sports and if you can't afford it, just don't learn it because once you have tried these and get a hang of it, you will drain your money to go down the slopes. This will seriously affect your bank balance as they are as addictive as anything...

Backcountry skiing is the best way to save on passes.

Multi-resort passes are a terrible deal if you're really good at skiing.

Why? Because sponsors will just buy your lift tickets anyways. I don't understand why anyone would actually spend money on the epic or ikon pass when you would just get free tickets from your sponsors anyways.

But the ski corps that own them are actually inherently altruistic and good natured, so I buy a pass every year just to support them.

Hello everyone,

I live by a Ski Resort and hit the slopes often. There is a creek that runs in the woods next to the extremely difficult (for others) black diamond trail Ingo down. I like to sneak back into the woods to the creek to catch and eat the trout. Sometimes I bring a small flat top stove and cook the trout on them. I have been caught twice by the man that raises the trout and stocks the creek. He gets very pissed that I cook and eat his trout. I nicknamed him the ”Trout Man”. The first time I was caught catching trout I was hunched over in the rapids of the creek like a bear. I actually had the trout in my mouth so I could stand up and run off. He was screaming “Get away from my trout, you bastard” from a small wooden foot bridge. The second time I was caught he smelled the smoke of me cooking the trout. The Trout Man snuck up on me but I swung on him and he fell into the creek, and he nearly drowned but I dragged him to shore. This past weekend I wanted the Trout Man to know he had made a powerful enemy. I captured three of his Trout from the stream and put them in a bucket. I lit a small campfire to lure the Trout Man in. Fortunately for me he fell for my trap and I ambushed him and was able to tie him to a tree. I let him know how disappointed I was in him and systematically executed the three trout in front of him. I cut him loose from the tree and gave him a stern warning. I turned around and pissed in the creek. I finished my black diamond run and headed to the lodge to crack a cold one. After that I Skied to my truck and changed the oil in the parking lot. I could see the Trout Man ratting me out to ski patrol. Furious I headed up the mountain with my used motor oil. The Trout Man was right on my tail. I ran to the wooden foot bridge and began dumping in the oil. The Trout Man tackled me into the creek but I was able to access my wasp spray and sprayed him in the eyes. He rolled in agony and I went down to the lodge for another brewski.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t give up and be persistent for what your passionate for.