r/sillyconfession

My partner and I have an amazing relationship. We love each other dearly. We love to fall asleep cuddling. Even though he is 6’4” and I am 5’5” we regularly alternate who is the little spoon. But it is more accurate to describe me as a backpack when he is the small spoon. 🤪

He snores, so on nights when he is the big spoon, I often struggle with the decision to stay cozy in his arms or roll away (which usually happens at some point during the night).

I like to snuggle and hate his snoring (it’s not sleep apnea, just plain ol snoring), AND sometimes I’m gassy. So on nights when I’m experiencing the trifecta, I’ll just fart. I try to be discreet and let it out slowly. But I still do it. To be clear, it’s not gross farts. It’s just little toots. If ever I felt I big one coming then I would roll away and go to the bathroom.

I’ve never told him that I do this. If he’s awake and I need to fart then I will roll away or go to the bathroom. We each have no problem farting in front of each other generally.

I only do it when he’s actively snoring in my ear. I don’t do this maliciously, but I like cuddling, and he’s asleep so I argue that it’s a victimless crime.

But I needed to get this off my chest.

Twas at work and decided to cropdust. Right after I slipped one out, my coworker bends down at the same time no more than a foot away from me… coworker, if you’re reading this right now, just know how terribly sorry I am 💔💔 you weren’t supposed to be there 😣😣

I started becoming really hooked on reddit since a few weeks. Instead of scrolling on insta i come here.

And since its mostly reading I fall asleep reading yall

I love humans you are all very cute, weird, crazy, but very cute

From a new born reddit enthousiast,

31F from Paris, France

I still mute the microwave at night because I’m scared someone will wake up and know I’m eating shredded cheese at 2am straight from the bag like a raccoon.

Until I was in my late 40s, I never knew that apricots were a standalone fruit. I'd only ever heard of them as dried fruits so I assumed that apricot was the name of a dried fruit, like a peach. My thinking that was raisins are the name of dried grapes and prunes are dried plums, apricots are the dried version of something. Was totally stunned to find that apricots are a thing.

Like, are they assuming that they will just come walking right in my house had I not had my front door locked...Yes, I always make sure my doors are secured and locked just in case if such thing happens too.

I wish I could just stand outside during a light rain without any clothes on.

I mean I can, but I'm not very good at it. I have a client with the word Guard in their name and every time I write it, I wonder if it's "Gaurd" or "Guard."

"Gaurd" obviously looks wrong but so does "Guard" so I end up searching it to double check. Native Engle speaker, just dumb

I'm 6'7" tall (22 y. o. guy). I practice historical fencing (smallsword, rapier). One of my friends, who's a short fencer, told me that I should guard my belly particularly, since, especially in a real sword fight, my belly would be the main target for short fencers. I can see it myself actually as I usually get stabbed right into my stomach by short fencers, especially on counterattacks. But if I'd fight on real rapiers, my short opponent would concentrate even more on my belly, because its a really juicy, vulnerable, soft and fleshy target with no bones and the blade can get plunged deep into it without getting stuck anywhere (like in the ribs, for example). So, I should learn guarding my belly really well! Especially realizing that a belly stab would actually be the most brutal and excruciating stab and most probably fatal.

As a "giant" I'm expected to percieve myself as a strong unbeatable guy, but it turns out vice versa. In a real rapier duel against a short girl, for example, I would very likely get stabbed. And not just anywhere, but into my belly. BELLY. That squishy, fleshy, juicy, super vulnerable, full of delicate and vital stuff area. And then, with my belly opened up and bleeding and its contents spilling out - I would die pretty slowly in agonizing excruciating pain. That just sounds pretty inglorious, to be honest.

What are your thoughts on that?

Not ducklings. Actual ducks. I thought every duck would eventually “grow up” into a goose like some kind of pokemon evolution.

I fully believed this until I was like 12 and confidently said it during biology class. The teacher just stared at me for a second and went “...what?”

I still think about the silence in that room sometimes.

All this time I've just thought it was because it was a french dish they made in the movie and I just never thought much about the reason for the title. Good god.

Sometimes someone plays a song in the car and everybody starts singing confidently while i’m just there doing emotional backup vocals with zero clue what the lyrics are, i’ll nod my head seriously like 'ah yes this classic' while my brain is fighting for survival trying to catch even one actual word at some point it becomes too late to admit i don’t know the song so i just commit to the performance until the end.

I’ve probably fake sang at least 200 songs in my lifetime haha

It started at my first proper work dinner at 24. Everyone was swirling and sniffing and saying things like "a bit oaky" and I panicked and joined in. I said something about tannins. I don't know what tannins are.

Now I'm 33 and I've been to hundreds of events where I hold a glass and nod and say things like "this is lovely, is it French?" and people seem satisfied. My partner knows. My partner is the only person alive who knows and I dont know how to stop lmao

I bet getting brushed as a cat feels so fucking good. I think that the upkeep of the hair on my own head is a bit much, I cannot imagine having hair EVERYWHERE. Imagining that my biggest problem is a hairdryer or bathtub is also a guilty pleasure. Not even in a cynical way, either. I would love to be a cat who experiences deep sorrow (by cat standards) due to such experiences. And to be expected to yowl and scratch at people about such things. And to have a stupid hat put on me to stop me from freaking all the way out, and for this hat to actually be effective. In that I only freak 2/3 of the way out. I bet getting the claws clipped is also relieving. I know I can't stand having my nails be long.

I am not picky about the type of cat I project myself into. Of course I will dabble in "best cat I have ever groomed." Naturally. But the meanest cat is not off of the table, either. I, too, would wish to scratch the hell out of whoever's fault it is that I'm soggy and looking pathetic. Without getting slapped back.

I want to know what having your ears scratched is like as a cat. I wonder if their feet are ticklish, which is why they don't let you touch them. I would also like to know what it is like to have a tail.

I'm also curious about the experiences of bald cats. I can't help but feel that it would feel very distinct from our (mostly) hairless human skin-having experience.

Someone plays something and everybody around them does this immediate recognition face and says oh this song and i just. join in. i make the face. i say oh this song. i have no idea what it is. i look it up later when no one's watching.

This has been going on since i was about 23, conveniently when I started working. it's just reflexive now. the face appears before my brain has even processed anything. i'm performing music recognition constantly and retaining none of it and the social cost of just saying i don't know this one apparently feels too high to find out what it actually is. Its so stupid yet sometimes i wish that they wont ask something after playing the song lol