r/psychologyofsex

From the article:

To see how the brain operates following repetitive periods of oxygen deprivation, scientists turned to advanced imaging technology. A study published in the Journal of Neurotrauma utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging to scan the brains of forty-one young women. Twenty of the participants reported a recent history of frequent sexual strangulation, while twenty-one participants had never experienced the practice.

The methodology focused on scanning the participants while they rested quietly. This approach allowed the researchers to measure the spontaneous fluctuations of blood flow in the brain without the distraction of a specific task. The scientists analyzed the density of these neurological signals and evaluated how well neighboring brain regions synchronized their activity.

The results indicated a distinct imbalance between the two sides of the brain among those who frequently experienced neck compression. The researchers observed lower neurological activity and reduced synchronization in the left hemisphere of the brain. At the same time, they observed unusually high activity and synchronization in the right hemisphere.

This type of inter-hemispheric imbalance is frequently documented in medical literature among patients suffering from mood disorders or depressive symptoms. The brain scans also revealed hyperactivity originating from a region known as the angular gyrus. This specific brain region acts as a major hub for processing sensory information, regulating emotions, and maintaining conscious awareness.

So what happens I just completed a trek or a hike of 12 hrs( both uphill and downhill) about 10KM. That night we slept and nothing happen.

Next Morning me and my gf decided to get naughty and have a makeout session. Things becahme heated quickly and we decided to move further. For reference both of us are virgin and never had sex before.

Even when she was stroking me I was unable to feel sensation in my penis and was easily losing erection.

The main issue is lack of sensation that I felt - is it due to porn and mastarbation or I have some diesease.

Please help.

If you grew up in a context where love was inconsistent, emotionally distant, or unpredictable, your nervous system may have learned to associate “intensity” with “connection.” When love did appear, there was often a sense that it wouldn't last, which can lead to trying to "make the most of it." Over time, that urgency can register as intensity. So connection and intensity were braided together along with anxiety. 

In this study, people who opened up were more satisfied with their relationships at the outset than people who remained monogamous, suggesting that people who open up weren't doing so because they were struggling. Given that they were highly satisfied with their relationships going into it, there wasn't much room for relationship satisfaction to further increase, which may be why there was no discernible effect.

Link to full scientific report: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-024-02917-2

IS THE NATURE OF MY COMPULSION SO REPULSIVE TO EVERYONE NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO UNDERSTAND OR HELP ME? I had anal sex the first time at 15, and I don’t know what happened. I was a normal teenager up into that point with normal desires, and it flipped a switch, and became all I thought about all I wanted to the point of being far beyond normal sexual desire levels. It was very obviously unhealthy. I’ve done it easily over 500 times in my life, and I feel incredibly crushingly guilty. Now that I’m older because all of those sweet women were going through that out of how much they cared about me, and I was so uncontrollably driven to perform this act I couldn’t even see that stuff in that moment it was only this. Now all I have is the memory is that invoke crushing guilt. What happened to me? Why have I been so different than every other guy I’ve ever come across the moment I did that the first time? It has haunted me and disturbed me for two decades that I’m this way. Was this always going to happen? Or was my age somehow connected to it crossing the wire wires in my head? Please don’t be put off by this and think I’m being boastful, but two be the cruel cherry on top. I’m in like the one out of 500 men size down there. It just feels like cruel fate that I would be large, and desire this kind of intimacy because it absolutely contributed to the amount of pain I inflicted. I haven’t even heard of something like this ever happened to another person much less meeting one that’s like me. I honestly kind of hate myself because of this. I literally become sick to my stomach sometimes. I loved these women to the point I would take a bullet for them, but was so driven by this I could still do that.

hello psychologist, I have a question regarding my Fetish and sexuality.

I am 19 M and straight and definitely not Feminine and I have a weird Fetish that I like being lifted by a strong girl I want girls to pick me up, every time I see a girl with muscles I get aroused. I watch lift carry videos i.e videos of girls picking up boys (not sexual per se) as porn and not regular porn, is this normal ?? should I see any help? well I also have a fear that my Fetish will always be unfulfilled as I won't find any girl woh could pick me up.

for context:- I am not in BDSM or a submissive

I developed these feelings on my own and I do get attraction normally (when I see a good looking girl) too but I don't get arousal normally should I seek help?

##From the article:

Most of us know blissfully happy couples born decades apart. Regardless of which partner is older, they seem to be well-matched in every other way. Although it's true that people have a tendency to prejudge age-gap romance, there is evidence that some young women simply prefer older men, and many men prefer older women as well. But regardless of which partner is older, will such pairings stand the test of time? Research has some answers.

####How Age-Gap Romances Change Over the Years

tion over the course of a marriage.[i] Regarding a common desire to “marry down” in terms of age, in the Australian sample they studied, they found that men were more likely to be satisfied with younger wives, and women were more likely to be more satisfied with younger husbands. Both men and women tended to be less satisfied with older spouses.

Regarding levels of fulfillment over the course of a marriage, however, Lee and McKinnish found that marital satisfaction declined more significantly for both genders in age-gap couples, as compared to similar-age couples. These declines tend to erase the originally increased marital satisfaction levels experienced by men and women married to younger spouses within 6 to 10 years of matrimony.

They acknowledge their findings are somewhat inconsistent with research on marital sorting and age gaps, as well as online and speed-dating study data—which reflect a preference for similar-aged partners. Discussing possible reasons for the discrepancy, Lee and McKinnish acknowledge the role that strategy and probability of relational success, among other factors, play in the decision about who to date.

Specifically, they note that data suggesting that both men and women prefer similarly aged partners is only a valid interpretation if singles disregard the probability of relational success. Because men initially experience high marital satisfaction with younger wives, but women experience less satisfaction with older husbands, this suggests that men may actually prefer to pursue younger women—but fear of failure (i.e., disappointing their future wife) makes them believe they would only succeed with “low-quality younger partners.” They note that similar reasoning may explain the reluctance of women to pursue dates with younger men.

What might explain the decline in marital satisfaction over the years? Lee and McKinnish speculate that perhaps age-gap couples are less able to weather negative economic shocks compared to couples of similar age. But might they also be less able to weather the negative attitudes of others?

####How Public Predictions Affect Relational Success

Some age-discrepant couples are self-conscious about the looks they receive and comments they overhear in public. People who are dating or have recently married younger spouses are often warned that their relationship won't last. Why such pessimism? Unwelcome, unsolicited relationship advice often comes from data generated both scientifically and anecdotally.

An article in The Atlantic entitled “For a Lasting Marriage, Try Marrying Someone Your Own Age,” [ii] while correctly observing that “Statistics, of course, are not destiny,” cited research stating that couples who had a five-year difference in age were 18 percent more likely to break up, and when the age difference was 10 years, the likelihood rose to 39 percent.

Many age-gap couples vehemently disagree with negative predictions and defy the statistics. Many people know age-mismatched couples who have enjoyed a great marriage for decades. But as a practical matter, later in life, the older partner is likely to face health-related challenges before the younger partner—which may be stressful for both. Obviously, such couples know that this day will come, but weather this season differently. Experience with couples during this period in life may impact the way we view such pairings.

Many happily married couples separated by an age gap remind well-intentioned friends and family that they vowed to love and cherish their partners “till death do us part.” Members of a healthy social network surrounding such couples are wise to offer support—without stereotyping.

As a woman in a 20 year long relationship with a man 15 years older, this article struck a chord with my experience being in an age-gap marriage. There's numerous things to consider when deciding to date or wed a partner who is significantly older, but one of the most important aspects is to make sure your life goals are in alignment. Often we find that the daily life of a 23 year old is very different than that of a 33 or 43 year old. But for those younger people who's paths harmonize with an older demographic rather than that of peers, it becomes quite possible (even preferable) to match with someone who has more years. So long as the relationship is healthy, happy, mutually respectful, and equal as possible, there's a good chance they'll succeed on those positive merits like any other relationship.

From the paper:

Women more often than men experience no orgasm at all during a session of heterosexual partner sex—an orgasm gap of 19.2% was found (20.4% of women versus 1.2% of men), indicating that more women than men do not experience orgasm during heterosexual partner sex.

Women experience orgasm more than once more often than men—a reversed orgasm gap of 13.0% was found (24.2% of women versus 11.2% of men), indicating that women do experience orgasm more often than men more than once during a session of heterosexual partner sex.

This “heterosexual orgasm gap” favoring men is numerically compensated by a “reversed orgasm gap” favoring women, as it was also found that a higher percentage of women than men do experience orgasm twice or more during one partner sex session. Women who do not experience orgasm showed lower sexual satisfaction and self-esteem, lower frequency of partner sex, and orgasm (solo plus partnered), and higher levels of sexual distress, inhibition, and psychological symptoms. The use of sex toys during partner sex was lower for them as well. This result, together with the result that the use of sex toys predicted the number of orgasms experienced during partner sex for women, suggests that experimentation with sex toys or other techniques diverging from PIV sex might be considered to improve orgasmic and sexual pleasure for women.

In situations involving subtle abuse, participants were much more likely to recognize the emotional and physical dangers when the victim was a woman. When a man was the victim of subtle abuse, participants tended to view the behavior as more commonplace and less worthy of police intervention.

The study also found that LGBTQ+ participants expressed lower levels of concern about coercive control compared to heterosexual respondents. LGBTQ+ participants were more likely to view controlling behaviors as commonplace and less likely to view them as criminal acts.