r/homebirth

My husband and mom are the 2 biggest supporters in my life and both think giving birth anywhere but a hospital is literally insane. I just can’t get the feeling out of myself that I’m meant to give birth at home, but they fear monger me that I’m putting baby in danger if I do. I don’t have it in me to fight them. Mom will get on board with whatever I want but my husband wants me to be in a hospital since this is our first baby and “what if something goes wrong”. I trust him and his feelings and I want him on board and to feel emotionally on board with the plan but he is soooo not. Even with the research that home birth is as safe as a hospital, he’s worried about me bleeding out and dying and needing to call an ambulance and get transferred to the hospital. Then his fear leaks into me. Idk what I’m even asking just help. I get that he should support me and do what I want, but we’re also a team and I value what he thinks. Blah

I’m newly pregnant and want to do a home birth but I know nothing of how this works, first timer! Do I find an OBGYN that will work with a midwife? Do I need a doula? I’d like to do genetic testing. Can a midwife do ultrasounds? How does insurance work with this? Help!

FTM to be here, planning a homebirth! I’m very nervous about it.

Right now, I’m trying to choose between continuing to see a chiropractor or a pelvic PT. I have seen both a few times, for low back and hip pain that started around 24 weeks.

I was seeing a chiro for $4/per visit but tbh it’s too far away, I live in a place with tons of traffic and gas prices are soaring so it was just adding more stress. I’d stand or sit in the waiting room for 25 min, roll on the therapy bed for 10 min and then 90 sec adjustment. I started seeing a different chiro 10 min from me in her home and she is amazing. Hour long visits with lots of chatting and emotional support. She is not covered by insurance and is $60/visit, but can do a package of 12 sessions for $486.

I also started seeing a pelvic PT. She is also not covered by insurance but seems great. She’s given me some at home exercises and stretches that have been helpful. Her rate is $125/visit or $315 for 3 visits paid together.

If you’ve done both or either of these things which would you recommend keeping? Realistically my husband and I cannot afford both. The homebirth midwife is $6000, doula is $1800 and birth classes are $325. Plus the countless other costs 😅

Any input is helpful, thank you!

I really love Karen Welton's pain free birth podcast and she does a really really good job marketing it on there 😅

I'm just wondering if it's everything all of her guests say it is. If anyone has purchased it, how is it?

Would anyone be willing to let me have a peak at it if so? I would really love to actually view a course before spending well over $300 on it.

Ty so much ♥️

I’m pregnant and have a scheduled plan to give birth at home using a “midwife”, but here’s where it’s gets confusing; I’m open for anyone who wants to visit while I’m in labor but when I’m actively giving birth I’d like for nobody to be present during that time. After which I also wanted time for myself and my new family first few moments together to be completely alone. For maybe just a couple of days at most until everyone can meet their new family member. BUT my partner is against this, he says family should be able to visit as soon as baby is born. Am I in the wrong or should I have the right to get myself together first before facing everyone again?

I have had a great homebirth before and an uncomplicated vaginal birth in the hospital before that. this time I’m over 35 so I got dual care with an OB in addition to my midwife just to keep an extra eye on things…everything was super reassuring-good results on NIPT, baby head down, no gestational diabetes, no pre eclampsia, great anatomy scan, spine looks great literally all the extra stuff I got that a midwife wouldn’t do was just reassuring that it’s all good. BUT they just kept being like you have risk factors bc you’re over 35 and the baby is big (I know thats just how the medical model is but it’s still annoying). So any way the baby is big she was already 5 lbs according to them like a month ago and I’m 36 ish weeks now

but 1. my last baby was 8lbs 6oz and out in 3 pushes in basically a free birth (midwife didn’t get there on time we were home alone when he was born!)

2. the baby before that’s was 8lbs even also an uncomplicated vaginal birth

3. Those measurements are wrong ALL the time.

But still it kind of freaked me out and just felt overly negative so I actually stopped the dual care because I felt that I got all the tests and stuff I wanted and I’m almost full term plus constantly saying something bad could happen isn’t really care? My midwife is NOT concerned about the size of the baby.

But it still got in my head about the size of the baby and so I’m trying so hard to do anything can these last few weeks to prep for a good birth and avoid shoulder dystocia so any knowledge tips or resources or tips for helping prep for that please pass along!
Sorry that was sooo long

Am in a situation and I would love some advice if possible.I have had 2 home births before in the past,I had no issues except for my last one I bled a bit more even though they were able to get the bleeding to stop they said the bleeding wasn’t bad but that’s not what I over heard during that process any ways am 37+ with my 7th pregnancy and am nervous about having another home birth,I do feel I will be okay but am having 2nd thoughts.I do want to mention that my iron is at 106 and ferritin is at a 13 my midwife mentioned that am borderline and they recommend for it to be over a 105 to have that home birth but at the same time the more the better I do have 5 kids so this will be my 6th so I have to be cautious because I was told that I can get postpartum hemorrhage with giving all the births I have had so right now it’s making me nervous especially because my iron is low,right now I do not know what to do I would like some advice if possible and I was wondering if anyone on here with multiple kids done home births with no issues/heavy bleeding that they had to have intervention or had to be transferred to the hospital?

I’ve been struggling since my son was born five months ago. It is getting better and antidepressants are helping some.
Very long post and this is a traumatic first story so if that is something that you are sensitive to, or if you haven’t given birth yet and are trying to keep your storyline positive please feel free to skip.

I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and planned to do a home birth with a midwife. I was feeling really good about it had read a lot and studied a lot and really trusted my midwife.
I was 41+6 pregnant and still had not gone into labor so I went in to get a biophysical profile done. Everything looked good and while I was there, my water broke in that very dramatic movie fashion. Feeling excited we went home and in a few hours I was laboring with my contractions less than three minutes apart my midwife came right away, and I labored all day, moving and resting and bouncing on the ball and everything towards the evening I got in a birth pool to help me deal with the pain. My contractions slowed way down after I got in the pool and stayed maybe 5 to 7 minutes apart I was checked and only 6 cm , they stayed slower all night long they began to pick up again early in the morning and my midwife came back, anyways I basically labored all day. Around 4 PM that day she checked me again and I was still pretty much at 6 cm at this point. I was completely exhausted and had been laboring for 40 hours. I turned to her and for the first time felt like this baby was not gonna come out and I really needed help.
We went to the hospital and I got an epidural, after about six hours on the epidural I had only got to 8 cm so they started Pitocin because I had developed an infection a few hours earlier. I didn’t know much about an epidural and nobody told me there was a button I could push to give me more medicine so I was on the epidural for 12 hours and never pushed the button, by the time I was pushing I could feel everything and move my legs pretty well. I genuinely hated the feeling of being numb and stuck in the bed with an epidural but was glad for a break in the pain, I never did sleep though because the meds makes me violently shiver and it was very uncomfortable. Finally It was time to push and I was told suddenly I had one hour to push or they were going to do an emergency C-section because my son’s heart rate was spiking very high with each contraction. I pushed as hard as I could for about an hour and 15 minutes and he was down far enough that they completed his birth with a vacuum, by this point the epidural did help I think but it the vaccum was the most excruciating thing I’ve ever felt, i remember begging them to stop but of course still having to push against feeling myself tearing (ended up being 3rd, borderline 4 th degree tear) They told me that his head was tilted and basically in the wrong position and that is possibly why he was not descending and wasn’t pushing my body hard enough to dilate me.
At first, I thought everything was OK and that we did it because they laid him on my chest, and my husband cut the cord which was sooner than I wanted, but I was too delirious to say anything or care as I was flooded with feel good hormone. I had only held him for a few seconds however when he was taken off of me very quickly and they disappeared and about 30 people flooded into the room it felt like he did not cry, I did not hear him cry for days, and they finally came in and told me he had to be intubated and that he had a condition called HIE which they blamed on the stressful birth and later in the notes, I read that he had a tight new cord, though nobody mentioned that to me when it happened and my midwife who was there watching the birth said it was not present that she saw so I’m wondering if they are covering themselves but I digress.
They had to ship him to a Nicu about an hour away, and I had to stay there overnight to handle my infection. I’ve never felt more hollow and both spiritually and physically empty than when they took him to save his life. I went very silent until I could see him and just wept and when we would leave the Nicu for the night I would weep because I ached for my son. He went through therapeutic hypothermia and was on a large cocktail of drugs. I could not hold him for four days. It was the hardest time of my entire life and I was staying in a hotel seeing him as often as I could while also healing from a third-degree tear, I pushed myself extremely hard in those days with a lot of walking to and from nicu and stubbornly took very little pain meds because I was still holding onto my dream of not having anything in his milk and I pumped as best I could every 2-3 hours but my milk supply was stunted a bit by the combination of Pitocin antibiotics and high stress. The breast-feeding journey is a whole other post. Basically we ended up having to pump for three months and combo feed and now at five months, he doesn’t latch at all.

Basically, the hardest part is I’m dealing with feeling like a failure, it was 52 hours of labor total followed by a week in the Nicu not knowing if my son was going to be permanently disabled. Thankfully, my son is OK and meeting all his milestones though we monitor him closely. I really struggle feeling like if I had stayed home maybe the situation would’ve worked out differently or if I had done something differently maybe he would not have had all of this traumatic stuff happen to him. My midwife made a comment that maybe if I had tried more different positions we could have moved his head. This is contributing to my depression because I feel like if I had been stronger, this would not have happened. It was so odd though because it wasn’t because of the pain that sent me to the hospital, it was this weird feeling of dread and panic that I got. I was so determined to have a home but when I felt that feeling all of that went away and I just knew I needed to go to the hospital, but I’m wondering now if that was just cowardice on my part. I went from wanting the most crunchy natural home birth. I even ordered glass baby bottles stuff like organic cotton and after his birthday, they put them on fentanyl and all of my hopes crumbled.
Obviously, my baby is happy and as healthy as could be hoped now and so I’m extremely grateful but also I am deeply terrified to get pregnant again even though I definitely want more kids. I don’t know if I could handle going through it again. For a long time, I could not even look at my son too long without crying because all I could see was his cold body laying in the nicu, for a while, I had terrible flashbacks and extremely hard time sleeping because every time I close my eyes, I would have a flashback. This has gone away, a few months postpartum.

I’m not really sure why I’m making this post. Just maybe that somebody else could relate or have some advice for me. I am in talk therapy but it’s just not helping that much. I did start an antidepressant and that has helped a little bit where I am very functional, but obviously it has not erased the actual trauma.
Also, my husband was very open to home birth this time but has expressed that he cannot support me having a home birth for my second as he was also traumatized, I understand of course but am also saddened by this.

TLDR: My pregnancy and homebirth were perfect, and I’m missing being pregnant so much.

Not sure where else to put these thoughts so:

I am a (now) mom of three. My beautiful daughter was born at home 3 days ago with the best team of
midwives, all of whom are my really good friends. I am also a homebirth midwife, although I took the last two months off call in preparation for this baby.

I spent every day truly appreciating my pregnancy because I knew I would miss it. We aren’t sure if this is our last baby or not, but being pregnant with this baby and spending these last few months with my two toddlers has been so precious. We made the perfect routines that allowed for rest and connection, and I absolutely love being in midwifery care. Seeing my people every week to care for me, my body, and baby just feels so sacred.

At 41 weeks and 3 days, I went into labor and had the most beautiful birth. It was so hard and breathtaking and took everything I had, but God, it was perfect. After baby was born, I had the most beautiful morning of my team cleaning our space, doing the newborn exam, enjoying this beautiful bliss in our home, making sure my vitals and bleeding were within normal limits. We laughed and cried and it was picture perfect.

My main midwife stopped by the next day for our 24 hour visit and newborn testing and I was still feeling pretty on cloud-nine. After she left our home, the postpartum hormone rush hit me like a train. Of course my milk started to come in around then, so the tears just flowed.

I feel really sad to leave behind this past pregnant version of myself. My hormones and daily activities prepared me for one thing for the last 9 months, and now that thing is over. Now I am thrusted into the next stage: baby cuddles, night sweats, full milk boobies, a family of 5. I absolutely loved the waiting, and the anticipation of knowing all of these midwives I admire would come together to witness me and my family.

I feel raw and sensitive during this massive hormone fluctuation. I keep reminding myself that I am safe and healthy, and that all of my needs, and my kids needs are being met. I know this transition feels big because of the hormone drop, that there is a physical reason, but as some guided by my emotions, it is hard to just notice them instead of absorbing them.

Looking back at my journaling and pictures I took during pregnancy, feels like a different person now, but also feels like I’m leaving my identity behind. This new person who lives on 3-5 hours of sleep with sore boobs and no more weekly prenatal visits, doesn’t yet feel like me.

It feels like just yesterday I saw that positive pregnancy test and grieved for the life I had created within midwifery and the rhythm of a family of four. And now, I miss this beautiful pregnancy already. Even though it was so uncomfortable, and required all of my patience, it was such a beautiful season.

I loved the last few months of pregnancy. Spending time with the big kids, sewing, reading. I love the anticipation of knowing all of my best friends were gonna come together to witness me and my family. And it was perfect. Birth was so hard, but my pregnancy was perfect and my birth was literally perfect. Everything I could have dreamt of. But now all of that is over and I feel so sad. I loved that version of my life and the routine we made. I wish I could go back and be pregnant for a few more days just to soak it all in.

I know this all feels especially strong right now in this 3-5 day time, but I wish I could turn down the intensity. I’m mourning for a feeling I will never be able to feel again. It’s gone forever, whether I carry another child in my womb or not.

My husband does NOT understand and my brain is overwhelmed trying to explain it to him. He’s not doubting me or not on my side he just literally doesn’t understand the benefit

Hello!

I wanted to share my birth story, partly as catharsis for me, and partly to get feedback / reflections - I have a "birth reflection" session at the hospital next week and I'm wondering what to talk about really / how to express my instincts about what went down.

I had an uneventful pregnancy - I felt mostly great. I was cared for by brilliant home birth midwives in my local area, all my appointments were at home. I did lots of prep and had a doula who I loved and so did my partner - and my partner was super prepped too with hypnobirthing / support skills.

At around 41 weeks my waters broke one evening. I expected to go into labour that night (as I believe most people do) but by the next morning I was still leaking my waters but no contractions. At this point I informed my home birth midwives that my waters had gone - they were happy for me to wait it out at home and see what happened. By that evening, still no contractions (I was doing all the things! kerb walking, spicy food, blablabla). Midwives still happy for me to wait (as long as I took my temperature regularly and didn't have a fever or feel unwell, and waters were clear) and by the next evening (so 48 hours since waters breaking) I did start having contractions. They picked up over night and by the early hours of the morning was having 3 contractions within every 10 minutes, lasting a minute each, so we called the midwife and the doula. For the next 8 hours or contractions would pick up in intensity / duration / frequency but then seem to pause - this happened a few times, however it was clearly progressing overall, if a bit stop-start. No vaginal exams due to my waters breaking so trying to mitigate infection risk.

By around 3pm that day (now around 60 hours since waters breaking, my midwives advised that I go into the hospital, simply because they no longer had real data to guide us (though they said I was doing well and most likely baby would be born soon).

I went in to hospital and on the advice of my home birth midwife had an injection of pethidine which I loved! I was also started on intravenous antibiotics and syntocin (which the home birth midwives explained would be what the hospital wanted to do to speed things up). I had always planned that if I needed syntocin I would get an epidural as had heard that augmented labour contractions are much more painful etc.

The contractions picked up and over the next 18 hours or so I dilated well, by the next morning at 8am I was 9cm. (As an aside, the epidural didn't work properly and went down one leg which was so numb it was falling off the bed - and I experienced all my contractions in the other leg! Which was quite excruciating but also kind of funny. They actually re did the epidural half way through the night and the same thing happened.)

I was mainly sitting in the "throne" position as I wanted to use gravity. Unfortunately because of the epidural going all down one leg I couldn't really move about as much as I wanted, but as I got closer to 10cm I was easing off on pushing the button so that I could feel a bit more - with the hope that I could birth in a gravity assisted position (e.g. the "throne position" I was currently in.

At some point in night the obstetricians came and did an ultrasound where they said the babys head was in the perfect position for birth, no obstructions etc.

At 12pm the midwife said I was fully dilated and could start pushing. She said it was not possible to push in any other position than on my back, with my partner and doula holding my legs up. I was encouraged to push my chin into my chest and hold my breath while pushing on each contraction. We did this for about 40 minutes, they said it was going well, but then the midwife called in another midwife to reexamine me. This midwife said I was actually 9cm with a cervical lip.

All of a sudden, the obstetricians came in again - one lead one and 2 junior ones. First of all the lead obstetrician said "well, the good news is that your fever is not so high now". I was very confused because I had never had a fever! We clarified this and she looked sheepish. Then she examined me, said I was actually at 8cm and then asked if the two junior medics could examine me too. I said no because we were trying to mitigate infection risk, weren't we?!
Suddenly she said that she recommended I have a caesarian now, or else could wait and do it in two hours.

This was like a punch in the gut and came out of no where. I tried to ask why they recommended this, and they said that it was because of how long my waters had been broken. I asked if the baby was struggling - they said no, the baby was actually doing really well (all the midwives had been commenting on this throughout the labour - baby was happy!). I asked if I was struggling / something up with my heart rate or blood pressure and they said no that was fine.

At this point I lost my mojo. I had been in really high spirits, even though the labour had been long I felt fine so far, and excited and happy! But suddenly I was like, oh god, this is happening. My doula and partner encouraged me to take the "wait for two hours" option which we did, and then they reexamined me and said I was still around 8/9cm - which seemed obvious to me because as soon as they said about the c-section I got adrenalised and felt everything stop. The contractions also slowed down in these two hours.

I had the c-section, which was mostly fine, but during which the senior obstetrician was coaching the more junior doctor on how to do it, including saying things like "no no no don't go any further there!" and the junior doctor asking questions about tissues e.g. "is that endometrium or amniotic sac" etc. A bit scary.

Our baby was shown to us and then taken immediately to a table to be examined etc. The neonatal doctor took one look at our son and said "this baby is way to healthy for me to be here". He was 4.26kg which was mainly water weight from all the intravenous fluids I'd been on.

I felt joy at meeting our baby over the next few days. But after all the drugs wore off, a few days later, I suddenly couldn't quite believe that that had happened. I didn't understand how we got so close to a vaginal birth and then pivoted, especially when everyone was healthy.

I felt angry that there wasn't another choice given - it felt unconsensual. I would have been happy to take the (v small!) risk of infection (especially as i was on IV antibiotics!) and just waited / continued to labour another 12 hours or so - I'm sure it would have happened.

In my notes it says "failure to progress" - which I don't understand because I did progress?! It was slow but I was fine, and things were happening.

I don't know what I want from this. Does anyone have any thoughts?

Thank you!

I am currently 41+2 with my second after having a caesarean 3.5 years ago. I have been planning an HBAC this whole pregnancy, and I am looking for positive stories. TIA!

Anyone in Nashville area have a doula or in home midwife recommendation?

I am 14 weeks pregnant and have had 2 prior easy complication free hospital births, both lasting under 5 hours from first contractions to delivery. I’ve never been unmedicated and tried so hard to go natural with my son 2 years ago, but the hospital setting just didn’t make me feel supported in that choice and I was so uncomfortable that I caved and got the epidural, which I hated. I feel like the recovery from the epidural is worse than the recovery from vaginal birth for me. The back pain I had for weeks was excruciating.

We’re looking into a home birth for this one, but are hesitant for obvious reasons. The “what ifs” are of course endless. We’re about 15-20 minutes from the closest hospital and would hire a doula for support. We don’t have any family nearby, so that makes things a little harder.

Basically just hoping someone in our area sees this and has any advice to offer/doulas they recommend

I just want to hear some experiences on using it with and without. The reviews are mostly on it with blue cohash, without has 1 review and Im just on the fence. I know the risks associated, however from what I've found that is with more than the recommended dosage. I just want to hear experiences with vs without

Have others found that they get angrier at the care they received as time went on? I’m three months postpartum and am frustrated that my feelings about my birth are getting worse, not better.

I was a birth center to hospital transfer (in the US). My midwife came to check me at 2am, found I was at 4-5cm, and told me I couldn’t go into the birth center yet and to call at 8am. At 8am I was pushing in the car on the way there.

Then my baby had some longer decels so she transferred us for continuous monitoring. She didn’t offer to come with us like was in our contract as she ended up having another birth there at the same time, and afterwards I felt completely dropped as a client.

I ended up having amazing care at the hospital, which I’m so grateful for, but I’m so frustrated at how alone and scared I was in those moments.

Wondering if anyone had similar experiences and how they moved past it.

Did anyone that is an average size prefer the bigger birthing pool or did you prefer the smaller one?

I posted on here a few weeks ago about spontaneous labor. Well my body went into spontaneous labor. My water broke 37+5 at 730 in the morning while laying in bed. I had my baby the next morning at 4:44a in my living room surrounded by love. I didn’t start early labor until around 6p. It got really intense at the end but baby is here healthy, handsome and happy. God is the greatest.

Hi, all! I have a question about insurance coverage and hospital transfers. My insurance (mostly) covers my home birth but I am wondering if I will have to pay out-of-pocket in the event that I need a hospital transfer at the last minute? Does anyone have experience with this they could share? Thanks!