r/firstgen

As the title States I am a first generation Mexican my Daddy has been here for about 50 years. Had me when he was about 30 something I am middle-aged adult. Do fairly well for myself. Got a family of five . Everything is good for the most part. Now that I'm a little bit older, I'm starting to see things for what they really are. And trying to progress in life but just like anybody without guidance. There's some things that I had messed up in my younger age that I am paying the price for now

I am a blue collar worker and like I stated I make pretty good money. Six figures a year trying to support a family of five. Everything is gravy till it comes to the question of trying to buy home. I finally got my credit in a decent spot but I need it to rise a little bit more in order for me to buy a house and get a good rate and this is where my rant starts.

I've Got the 20% down for a home here in the Dallas-Fort Worth area or even Waco and everything is good. You know parents encouraging me this that but it kills me that when tell them I can't get approved because of my credit they turn heir backs. Mind you parents have a couple of homes here in other countries they are on their way out so to speak in multiple ways, not just Death They are about to enter retirement and it just kills me that I can't get them to co sign. They don't want to help granted. Yeah I am my own man but it just kills me. I have a good job right now. I expect to have a good job for the next 3 years and I'm really trying to get a home for my family of five. Right now we're renting but it's like my brain just fully developed and I'm starting to see things a lot differently.

Growing up my mother well my grandma better yet had a home that her kids lived in and at the end of it they were all fighting for the house. When I was a teen I lived there. Moved out around 16. Didn't get no kind of encouragement. I remember leaving my mom saying can't wait for you to come back with your tail between your legs cuz you couldn't pay rent. I got a little bit older. I worked hard labor cuz like I said I didn't have any guidance and it got to the point where I would ask my mom. Hey Mom, can you put my money away so that I can save for a house? She gave me the cold shoulder and said you're a big boy. You make good money. You figure it out. When I started having marital problems. She came back around and started telling me. Hey son, do you want me to manage your finances? So of course I threw it in her face.

Anyways though it just kills me that as a son of an immigrant my parents aren't the stepping stone. Yeah they have helped me out in my life. But now like I said that I'm an adult. I'm not asking them for money. I was asking for a cosign and they can't seem to to help. And it kills me because my father always worked hard labor his whole life. He is an artist he does high-end stucco plaster repairs for museums. Always wanted me to help him start a business and I tried as hard as I could. But being that I don't know anything or anybody in the industry and he how he chastised me for trying to work with him to learn the ins and outs. You know I finally gave up and I finally realized I was trying to help somebody who didn't want to help me out. But whatever just a rant

hello everyone, i’m never really on reddit but i have no where else to vent.

i am the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. i, 21F, have been really struggling for the past couple of months, but i honestly realized i’ve been struggling my whole life. my parents immigrated here, and i have had to be the translator, third parent, maid, secretary, you name it; simply parentified. i am currently a now an upcoming senior in college, i graduate december 2026. i stayed in state for school, and go to college about 2 hours from home. i love my university, but my parents still feel the need to be watching over me all the time, and don’t grasp the idea that i am an adult. for example, i just started dating my boyfriend about a month ago, and he also comes from a hispanic family, but they are so much more lenient on him, and understand he is becoming an adult, he’s 20. on the other hand, i recieved so many scholarships that i get paid to go to school, and my parents haven’t had to pay a single dime for university. they help me with my rent, and advise me to save my money for the future. they don’t pay for groceries or gas anymore since i have a part time job at uni, so it’s simply that financial part. they don’t even pay for my healthcare. yet, when i have tried to go spend time with my boyfriend in his home town, which is 3 hours away, they said they would not allow me to. that it’s “too soon”. but when is it too late? i feel so much guilt, but im starting to grow some resentment. i don’t want to grow that, since i love my parents and they have done a lot for me.

now, im getting ready to enter my last semester of undergrad, graduating with the highest honors (all A’s), i have a good job, i am an overachiever, hyper independent, don’t party, carry myself well, and its like they don’t care. no congrats, nothing. i feel helpless. i’m in my hometown for this final summer, and i need to get it in their heads that im an adult. but to them, 21 is not an adult. i don’t know what to do, or how to create a plan for me to be okay, especially going into my master’s program in a place that’s 4-5 hours away (i want to be close to my boyfriend). does anyone have advice?