r/cosmicmessenger

You are just so avoidable

I’d like to avoid

\*trigger warning\*

The next moron that uses avoidant like it was a racial slur.
I’d like to avoid amateur psychiatrists who don’t even understand the buzz word of the week but uses it like they are qualified to make that call.

Oh. And Narcissus called. He wants his fucking name back. Says it’s too good for you. Since you abuse it constantly.

Is there a term for people who think that a diagnosis without education or qualifications has value??

I’ll need your labels when I need my plumber to work on my car. When I need the fire department to do my taxes.

I would like to avoid people that think labeling someone so they can shift blame is valid and fooling anyone. It’s dismissive and a testament to ignorance.

When I hear someone call their ex or loved one a narcissist or avoidant that gaslights i automatically think.

Oh. So you are the problem.

Accountability or lack thereof has more gravity than armchair psychiatry.

So many complaints about the people that didn’t love you. Oh he’s a narcissist. He’s an avoidant. He’s gaslighting.

Maybe the question is what is it about you that is attracting all these men with personality disorders?

Where are you advertising? Down at the grippy sock farm?

\*This is in no way meant to make light of those that suffer mental illness or personality disorders. They are very real and valid afflictions that deserve to be taken seriously. It is meant to shed light on those that think it’s ok to label somebody as such without understanding what it actually means to suffer an affliction . \*

Who needs a guitar

to achieve this level of depravity

make the luxury the thing in itself

and in awhile, shorn of the excess trappings

(crack pipes, empty Stoli bottles)

the complexity of the human edifice

resolves into

Snakes and Ladders

Yarr brother machine, flip the table

coz we know chaos can be good

and order can be evil

tho I do admit to my not so comrades

it does require privilege

a word I'm suddenly not so scared of

anymore. No comrades, no corporate sluts,

no preachy enforcers, no agents

tryna create a scene readymade

for CBC formwork

you can suffer in nothing

you can suffer in something

I will outlive you

Then why can't I just be quiet and die?

It will be beautiful

when it all comes together

Here they are,
The female eagle standing by the nest;
And the male splashing his wings in the water
In the pond nearby;

It is interesting,
From one point of view though;
They have not said a single word to each other
Their entire lives;

Yet this does not stop the male eagle,
From coming each day
And standing nearby his female;

Sometimes we just remember things;

Don’t we?

For example I have stamped in my memory.

A moment where my boyfriend and I

Had just arrived in Corfu

And had just entered in Corfu Hotel;

After we paid,

The receptionist came with us,

To show us the room,

Going to the ground -2,

As the hotel was on top of a rock;

At the moment

When the three of us were inside

The small spaced elevator,

I was thinking

«…Here we are

…Earthlings,

Each one engaged in our affairs»

Imagine what an alien would think?

Right now,

Looking at us;

Older model. Slightly used but still gets the job done.

Reliable, a little slow to start but when well lubricated the possibilities are endless. 🥰

If interested, contact owner to discuss any concerns with additional questions.

Serious inquiries only.

Responds well for someone good with their hands.

May leak lubrication fluid from contact with lips 👄 or mouth.

Batteries not included!

🤪

factum fieri infectum non potest

It is impossible for a deed to be undone

::::::::::::::::::::: O ::::::::::::::::::::

One of the best things I’ve learned through my many therapy sessions is how to control myself.

My emotions, my thoughts, words and anger.

Coping skills, learning to stfu and let people speak, especially when it’s something I don’t want to hear.

I’ll take a deep breath, pause and reply rather than react.

Once something is said, it can never be taken back.

The same also goes for anything written down.

My word is powerful, more powerful than I’ve ever imagined.

Slowing down, replying genuinely and honestly as opposed to reacting or responding in haste keeps me in check and saves me from the embarrassment and guilt I will feel from being a jackass…

::::::::::::::::::::: O ::::::::::::::::::::

I pray that I may constantly prepare myself for better things to come.

I pray that I may only have opportunities when I am ready for them.

This pain is excruciating. 
It’s like someone is sitting on my chest
I’m gasping for air 
I want to breathe normally again
But I can’t do this without you 
You’re the oxygen that gives me life 
Just throw me a line or two 
I would be satisfied for the moment 
I seek relief from your stare; your effect on me 
But without your presence I’m lifeless 
Is there something your searching for
That is missing from my soul?
I’ll find a replacement if that’s what you need 
Tell me what you need 
I’ll be anything you want me to be 

Sometimes I wonder if my faith is present
Too many terrible times and vibes 
I feel like I’m drowning still finding my way to shore 
I could really use that lifeline right about now 
Am I still connected? 
Communications are too quiet 
We are like two ships passing in the night
I just need some time to catch my breath 
Is your ship still coming?
Ive been waiting lifetimes for you 
Please return what you took from me 
I think I need it more right now 
But the thing is, im too selfless
So if you need the lifeline more
I’m happy to spare my life for yours 

I want to break down these walls 
In the dollhouse you created for me
Because I have an eerie feeling 
I’m not the only one with three walls 
And a glass ceiling 
Barackading all my friends 
In every state, every room,
Every place you place us 
How can I play pretend 
When all my friends are talking back 
I should tell my mom
Maybe she can do some redecorating 
To make everyone feel safe 
If im safe, so are all my dollhouse friends
And their shadow friends 
Sharing dreams 
Creating new life 
Into the mold you already had prepared for me 
But not just me 
Because I’m never alone in this dollhouse 
Where the night time is more real 
Then the stories retold
Should we stay or create this new life 
I think I’ll stay a while longer 
This dollhouse isn’t that bad 
I’m convinced 
I was convinced
To be grateful for these walls 

(What happens when my Muse is being choosey, having fun alphabusin' me.😉🫠♥️)

I want to write, the urge is deep and itchy, but nothing's grabbing me by the brain, pulling me in for that kind of kiss...you know, wet n sloppy, my Muse likes leavin' a moist mental mess. I don't mind, cleaning it up is as good as it gets, tasty verbal treats left strewn 'round just for me.

I'm craving it!, it kinda hurts...my hands wanna touch n type, my fingers all twitchy and I'm in it, but it's not in me...yet.

Aaahhh! I wanna scream but not a single word will obey me today, not on paper or screen, anyway. I guess I'm being too pushy, my domme coming out to play...nasty and mean. I gotta switch if my words aren't in the mood, maybe stop thinking so much phonic possession and more cerebral submission...

Words don't belong to me, I admit it, but it's not easy. I love them, I weave in wonder and I'm torn by resonance when just the right one rips me open, born asunder, ripe and ready to burst...but now I'm drowning in a barren waste of wordless thirst empty but for Tantalus' curse.

Agonized, begging you know me why do you torture me like this?!...I wanna get off, but I've no way to, you're denying me your penetrating permission, your cognitive kiss, my densest wordfilled wish.

Inspiration's toying with me lately, guess she's recognized her power over me...my turn to kneel albeit verbally, pleading please oh please have a little prosal mercy!

I promise I'll do right by you, a sentence or two with meaning, I won't stop 'til my mind's wrung out and writhing...sweaty, satisfied, and sundered. Oh, I need you my Muse whatta you got to lose fuckin' do me once more I'm down nearly done dry heaving hoping it'll come just please you goddamn tease grant me a single phrase even a verb or a noun I can't go on without 'em I don't wanna doubt I FEEL words have power and now I'm being metaphorically edged at the mercy of yours...please, don't, stop!

I can't contain my longing for logos, a hardcore homophone hunger, alphabetic sterility's damned me! I cry full of dramatic poetic analogy, a real jammed up letter junky, a broke bibliowhore on the prowl for just one more...WORD.

(Which they were not)

…then what are my forties going to be?

Sordid forties? Sorta forties?

Where I’m well into middle age but still have my childlike wonder. That’s a fire that can’t be stamped out.

Sorted forties?

Where my books are cataloged and I know where my ingredients are?

I do not thrive in that kind of order. I like disarray. Not dat-array.

I know I’ll be tired

So…

My Sorta Sordid Forties??

Still ratchet. Still chaotically sweet. Still wholesomely unhinged. But now with more naps. Better snacks. More nonsense.

April 27,2024

Nothing is as it seems anymore 
Ive been blinded by the moonlight 
I’ve seen too much
Ive felt too much 
If my heart explodes
Will you be there to pick up the pieces?
Or are you here to step all over them
Will you take my breath away?
Or breathe oxygen into my lungs
You can’t have it both ways 
Time seems to have stopped
Was it you?
Or was it me?
As we a team? Or just enemies 
I believe in blessings 
But if this is a curse 
I’ll hold on tightly to the pain 
And release it in my own way 
Until you come back to me 

Hey, hey messengers!

A quick update:

Our rules got a refresh. They're clearer. Less redundant. Still chill, still Cosmic. Please read them. And if you see any rule breaking, please report it.

We also added moderator bots to help keep the community safe by giving us a heads up on potentially disruptive activity and bad actors. And we review their reports to make sure users and content don't get flagged in error.

If they goof, we override their decisions and whitelist the user/approve their content.

Which brings us to locking your own posts. Cosmic posts lock automatically seven days after they're posted.

Control is a beautiful thing; if you'd like to lock your posts sooner, choose 'Lock/Unlock Comments' from the three dot menu (...) and you'll be good to go. Once the post is locked, it stays locked.

And that's all folks!

As always, we're here for you and if you need anything, shoot us a message.

Have a great weekend 🪐💫

-Team Cosmic

I'm not sure
what my
heart
would even
sound like.

Crumpling metal?

It just
hides
when someone
calls it beautiful.

It wonders
who will cause
another car crash
and then turn
away from it.

Me this time, or me?

Let justice be done, even if the sky should fall

::::::::::::::::::::: O :::::::::::::::::::::

Journaling is proving beneficial in furthering my sobriety.

I’ve spent five of the last ten years staying clean, sober and working on my mental health issues.

Today is your birthday 🎉 81-years-old.

May your day be filled with joy, love, happiness, guilt and remorse.

Remorse for my one and only nephew who you did nothing to help, when he needed it most.

Guilt for how you let the paramedics and police find him DEAD in his room, next door to yours.

More worried about how you would look, having to explain what happened.

Unbelievable.

It’s called the TRUTH, Mother.

The truth.

I’ve been living my truth for 61-months, tomorrow.

For the pain you’ve caused, here’s to another ten years of no contact.

Love,
#1. Guilt
#2. Your Golden Child
#3. Remorse

Peel me up off this mat

So I can do the ceremony one more time

That it might please the jury

I walked 70 kilometers

To make myself utterly vulnerable

Felt like wee Calvin

Soaking wet

Scorpio moon

No one has ever fucked me better

Than that

Showed me myself by the roadside

In some Qwebek border town

Oh shit there I am

Should lay off the mescaline

But of course you Are the mescaline

Let's do it again

But this time, let me glimpse more than your feet