I’ve posted before. I’m 31 (f) and husband 42 (m) , we’ve been married more than an decade and have young kids.

I still adore him as much as when we first met. He’s a brilliant dad and in most ways a kind, caring and decent husband. He’s got a high sex drive and usually I enjoy sex with him and we are still really attracted to each other with a lot of chemistry.

The issue I’m having is that over the last year years (mostly when I’ve been pregnant and not so up for sex) he has pushed the boundaries of consent. this ranges from me waking up to him already having sex with me in the early mornings (happened a couple times) and on one occasion he actually forced sex when I’d repeatedly said no even though he could hear me crying.

Each time he is very sorry and begs for forgiveness, goes to therapy and is better for a while. nothing of this nature has happened for around a year now and we are still having consensual sex which is very confusing for me because I still want to. I still love him so much.

However, these incidents are always in the back of my mind and sometimes I find myself reliving it, feeling anxious or having a panic attack. I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety. I don‘t sleep well and have nightmares which I don’t remember. I am in personal therapy too. I feel I can’t properly trust him and underneath the love and care I still feel frightened that he could do that to me especially when I was pregnant. I feel so mixed up.

I desperately want us to move forward, fix this and be truly happy again. Is it possible?

The minute my husband leaves for the evening I somehow become convinced I’m starring in a true crime documentary. Every tiny sound outside becomes ‘the moment investigators later talked about.’

Meanwhile I’m wandering around the house holding a kitchen knife like I’m somehow fully qualified to defend the property despite having absolutely no training whatsoever.

Then the SECOND he gets home I’m magically back to being a rational adult again.

Okay so I’m exaggerating a little, but please tell me other women do stuff like this too!

Hey all.

It's your girl, the autistic useless lesbian.

I want to get one thing out of the way:

I *do* see myself as a likeable person.

I *do* like how I look.

But I'm just incapable of attracting other people. I am not physically attractive to others.

I attract two types of people primarily.

One is people who have a fetish for girls like me.

The other are people who look at my personality and want me to "rescue" them. I am a "caregiver" type.

In the past, I also used to attract people who were very manipulative and outright dangerous, but that changed overtime as I grew in confidence and established firm boundaries. I'm less of a "target" for them.

I've never been flirted with since I started living as a woman, at least not in a legitimate way. People have pretended to flirt with me as a joke, or again have fallen into one of the bad categories I've mentioned.

This well, sucks. It really sucks.

And I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I've abandoned ideas like dating altogether for this reason. Just incapable of attracting people who have good intentions for me, and that's kinda always been the case.

Hi,

I’m a late bloomer in dating (F28) and went on my first date this year. The main reason was because I never let myself date until achieving a body-related goal. At first, I didn’t date because I was overweight. I eventually lost the weight, but when I did, it left me with a ton of loose skin, and not a very nice shape, so I didn’t let myself date anyone because I was convinced no one would love me with my clothes off. It was actually worse because I felt like a fraud, people assumed I was slim and petite because of the low number on the scale and how I dressed, but I knew the reality.

I then saved up and got a tummy tuck and boob lift as I thought it would help. It definitely helped with my confidence in clothes and being able to actually go on dates, but I can’t progress once I realize the guy obviously wants to be more physical.

Even with the tummy tuck, my body isn’t perfect, I couldn’t afford more procedures as there is loose skin in other places too like my back, arms and legs.

I’m always scared the guy will try to touch me on a date and feel my loose skin where it’s still there, and feel the rolls. Because of that I can barely ever move forward after date 2 or 3 because I am still so ashamed of my skin.

After doing so much to try to fix the issues, I’m now realizing it’s definitely internal.

I am also about to sound like a horrible person but I’ve been subconsciously dating guys I’m not very attracted to (not because they are unattractive per se, but maybe just not my type) and selling myself short in the dating world as I’m too scared to date the guys who I am actually attracted to (even when they’ve reciprocated their attraction) because I’d be too embarrassed to see them lose their attraction once they see the surgery scars and lose skin. This is not only unfair to the guys I go on dates with as they deserve being with a woman who is attracted to them, but also has made dating exhausting and nerve wrecking as I’m never excited about a date.

I really don’t know what I’m trying to ask, but has anyone gone through something similar? What helped you get out of this rut?

Because of my weak mindset, all throughout my life I have been heavily dependent on external motivation like podcasts, quotes, youtube videos. During challenging times, I derive my strength from listening to strangers online. And most often than not, it has worked. But lately since I am heading towards my 30th birthday, it feels wrong, stupid and exhausting at times to not have that inner strength and resilience of my own.

I am kind of tired of continuously seeking external validation or confirmation that I can push through. As I am getting older, I find myself asking, how long will I keep doing this? I want to build a stronger mindset for myself and stop living in constant state of doubt waiting for someone else to tell me what I can or cannot do. But I keep falling back into the same pattern.

Is this normal?

So I'm traveling via a bus these days,it was pretty much a non issue before but now the bounce is unbearable and noticeable to people too which makes it really uncomfortable for me in public places..

Is there anything that is suitable for hot weather,kinda breathable and also gives good support?

Hi. I need some advice please- my boyfriend and I tried having sex around the 22nd April and since I have vaginismus it always hurts when we try and so he couldn’t fully insert himself fully but since there was genital contact I took the ellaone morning after pill the next day. My period has since been around 19 days late and I don’t know what to do. Has anyone had similar experiences if so please share! I’m worried it might be potential pregnancy so I’m gonna take a pregnancy test tomorrow morning!