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The love of my life passed away a few days ago. I’m permanently disabled and he was not only my service dog, but my soul dog, and a special part of my family. 5 years ago, I chose him from a photo, when we met for handler training he chose me. Such a big personality, silly, goofy, empathetic, intelligent and intuitive. He never left my side, he started scent alerting on his own before I would faint, and always so proud of working like a good boy. One day last week he was playing with his hedgehogs, then suddenly laid down, shivering, panting, shaking, not moving. He got an inoperable liver cancer diagnosis in one day, he declined fast in 24 hours, the tumor was bleeding internally and it wouldn’t stop. I had about few hours to consult with internist, oncology and they all said the same, he’s going to bleed to death and wont last the night. I gave the best of everything to him, and he did the same with me. Our bond was nothing I’ve ever felt. I was finally not alone and loved unconditionally. Eli was just 9 years old. I am so lost without him, I can’t physically function, he was my lifeline, my reason to keep fighting, keep living. I have no idea what to do. I still need him.