r/SouthAsianMasculinity

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I’m curious what other desi guys are usually attracted to physically and does race/ethnicity actually plays a role in your dating preferences.

Do you usually have a certain type in terms of features, personality, etc.? And do you find certain ethnicities being more attracted to you than others?

Interested to hear honest answers and experiences.

JP Morgan incident was indeed TRUE

Albanian Executive Director Lorna Hajdini DID sexually harass JP Morgan banker Chirayu Rana (Desi Man)

Later denied it when caught, and now offered to pay a settlement out of court.

I'd like to highlight narratives for this case, or rather destroying said narratives below:

Destroys narrative by white men that

1. Desi men are always only perpetrators of sexual violence

2. White women are always victims of brown men

Destroys narrative of Desi women that:

1. Desi men are unattractive and unwanted by any non Indian women (this has been pointed out before btw but stats say Desi men are marry and date out a decent amount more, and this number definitely needs to increase.

2. Desi men are creepy misogynists who harass women

3. Desi men are bottom of the barrel and always in the wrong

I live in the most chic area of a major city Canada. I just returned from the gym and I am a little disturbed. I go to a group fitness class. Have been going there for close to 6 months. Needless to say, almost everyone knows each other by face, even if we don't remember each others name.

I don't have any hunky-dory expectations from the people around me. Everyone knows the rampant overt racism against Indians on social media, and we see the subtler form of it in real life.

There is a Portuguese/ Brazilian/ Latin American guy in the gym. He talks nicely with almost everyone. I might have spoken with him once, probably months ago. I got a feeling around 2 months ago that he's avoiding me because I am Indian. (Not that I am seeking his attention but I consciously make a note of people who enthusiastically interact with me and who doesn't. I am single , so on the lookout for a partner)

I wanted to ensure I gut feeling is true.

Normally, after our workouts, all partners give fist-bumps to each other.

A few weeks ago, immediately after the workout ended, he gave fist bumps to almost everyone around him and when I appeared right in front of him, he quickly looked in another direction. I mean, the energy after the class was super high and almost everyone was fist-bumping each other, doesn't matter who's beside them. This was the first time I strongly felt he's avoiding me.

Around 10 days ago, he and I were partnered in 1 class and after the class, I was consciously checking if he fist bumps. He did not. So, I gave him one and he gave me a quick one, and it was certainly half-hearted.

What triggers this post is what happened about an hour ago. After the workout, while exiting, I exited first through the door and he was behind me, I held the door open for him. The F***er walked through it as if he was a king and didn't even look at me. No thank you , nothing !! He did not even touch the door. These are basic first world values !!

Here are the thoughts going through my mind.

Some people are absolutely rotten inside. Depraved of humanity. Such a world exists. Some of these people are highly educated and super successful, probably even CEO's of Firtune500 companies. They won't hesitate to see a child starve just to make a buck. Why do I say this? Because another woman who struggles to find a date told me the same thing. The horrible men she met on her dates is compelling her to lose faith in goodness of men.

Normally, its understandable if a woman frowns looking at a man. Its understandable. Maybe she does not look how he looks, or maybe he's untidy and ungroomed, or whatever. But here, I was noticed even men are like that. I mean, men will pull each others legs just to look better in front of their manager or another woman they want. Bro code is dead .

I have crossed my mid-30's and I like to think of myself as one of the most patient men out there. I have been told at least by 2 people close to me that they have never seen me angry. (Only my ex-GF told me I can get super angry). I am a person who gives people many chances before they piss me off and I cut off all contacts. At my age, I have begun to challenge this notion. If anyone disrespects you even once, that should be enough to cease and desist all contacts with him. As a matter of fact, don't be afraid to call them out. For ex - in todays incident, when that a***ole didn't thank me, I should had immediately said , "You are welcome!" or "a thank you would be nice". Nothing wrong with this, right?

Just wanted to vent my heart out.

I posted before but i needed to post this due to a large issue i have been seeing. Anyone else think the indian femcel issue is so large/much large then indian male incel issue?

I just had a look at the splendidabrown reddit and theres a post about diljit and his fallon appearance and his song morni. They had a problem as he used a white women as the dancer in the music video. Then theres just comments full of people calling diljit a sellout and how hes pedestaling white women and so on. But most of his songs even the most popular ones have always had a brown women as the star of the music video.

Its also strange as how the song morni has little to no link to the model in question or women. But the biggest issue i have is the comments. They are all shitting on brown men. Its just comments about what could you expect of brown/desi men. Its also then full of Indian women saying stuff like western men find indian women beautiful and love us but they hate all the creepy brown men. There's also crap like people on the sub saying i'm in x (canadaian area) and the hockey boys(cad version of high school jocks) love us brown girls and chase after us. No fucking chance but okay.

But whats strange is they are just perpetuating stereotypes and racism against indian men causing more divide between us yet they complain about representation when one music video has one white women.

The sub also has a large issue of seeing indian men as a whole and not individual. They group indian men as one. They may have one bad experience or their own father and from their they all say all indian men are abusive. This is just racism as you see indians as a group and not individuals like you see white people. Theres so much more i could say but have work soon, and its not just the vindicta sub theres lots more as well

Hi everyone! I'm an Asian American currently talking to an Indian Canadian guy. He was born and raised in Canada, and I’m actually a couple of years older than him. He’s planning to visit me in 2-3 months from Canada and has future plans to move to the U.S. for work. He’s educated and has a career, which is great. However, I’ve never dated an Indian Canadian guy before, so I’m not sure if I should give him a chance romantically or just stay friends. The fact that he’s younger than me also has me second-guessing things, especially since all my exes have been older.

Been living in central London for nearly 3 years now and run a business contracting both private homes and commercial. I’ve seen it so much online that oh being straight and white is terrible in landing a white collar job and how diversity inclusion means ethnics get them.

But in my experience this is false. When walking around the city during peak commute times most workers are mostly white men and women with a few ethics. I don’t understand where this rhetoric comes from where white people think ethnics get jobs before them.

Not all Indian women, but it's typically they who push this rhetoric. I partially agree, partially disagree, but my main thing with this is these same women will go date chopped white guys that show love to their mothers and overall have a good relationship with them, make them a priority blah blah blah, and they're not batting a single eye lol

Don't let anyone discourage you from improving yourself. I have heard all this talk about inferior genetics, and it does affect out improvement to some extent. But that dosnt mean that you give up.

I ate healthy, went to the gym, drank more water, did consistent cardio. I worked on becoming more approachable, and on becoming more outgoing. Put sunscreen, to improve skin quality. I worked on making money.

Finally everything paid of. I went to brazil for the carnival, and had a blast. Brazilian girls are known for kissing within 5 mins of meeting someone, but that dosnt mean they do it with everyone. I kissed nearly 40 hot girls. Sometimes it was them approaching me, and I was more than happy to give them my time.

I got laid and hooked up with 7 different girls, including a hot mom-daughter duo. It sounds fake, but they were the ones looking for it, and who was I to say no.

What I wanted to say is, your effort will not go in vain. Forget about Indian women, the world is your oyster. There are many other women who desire us, only if we emerge from our tiny shells.

Before this, in india, I had to keep pleasing the girl. They were so demanding. Gifts, late night texts, dates where I paid for everything, flowers etc and still got no sex.

But once I realized my value, I started my self improvement journey, and now it's the girls who come to me, not the other way around. And why should I settle for Indian women, who expect so much in return and give nothing, when I can have Latinas, Asians and whites?

Keep going

PS: I am not a bot, even though my karma is so low. It's just a new account

I’ve been noticing more interracial couples at my school and online, especially involving South Asian people. It feels like things are slowly shifting compared to what you’d expect even 10 to 15 years ago.

One thing I’m curious about is whether there’s a gender gap. Like, do you think Desi men and Desi women experience interracial dating differently? Do you think we will be more like east asian men who date less interracially compared to their woman or will we be more like black men who date more interracially compared to their women.

Would be interesting to hear both personal experiences and what you’ve observed in your area. Also what can we do better as western born desis to help us?