r/SituationshipAdvice

I’ve been in an on/off situationship with a guy for about 3 years. It’s always been lowkey “casual” he’s always back and forth whether or not he wants a relationship. 5 months ago we were SUPER close to being official and then he jumped ship and we took about a 5 month break and he’s back in the picture again.

When we’re together, he can be really affectionate and intense in a way that doesn’t feel purely casual. He’ll say things like mid conversation “I’m getting lost in your beautiful eyes” and other corny romantic stuff. He also always brings up relationship questions… like I am never the one to bring it up.

At one point I even joked that I couldn’t keep doing this and that it felt like “he’s killing me” and that maybe it was the last time seeing each other. After that, he sent me this text saying he would be disappointed if that was actually our last time seeing each other.

And it just leaves me confused because I actually do want a relationship, but this dynamic keeps pulling me in emotionally while staying undefined in reality. He also says he “hates that he’s like this,” but nothing really changes.

There’s so much more depth to this than this little post as you could imagine because it’s been 3 years but I guess what I don’t understand is: why is someone like this? Why say you don’t want commitment but act emotional/romantic/attached in the moment and keep the cycle going for years?

I’m not sure if this is just a situationship thing, avoidant behavior, or something else entirely, but I genuinely don’t get it and would love outside perspective.

There's this guy I started talking to and he is super sweet also he always says he likes me but is not at all curious about me.

He wants a relationship w me but is not open with his past or even himself should I end this?

I (29F) was seeing a guy (26M) we were friends for a long time and tested the waters of being more. I developed strong feelings for him but never led on. He wanted to come see me the other night but I said I was not keen for him to come over and stay until early hours of the morning being intimate. I did not think anything serious was going to happen because we had only been hanging out at my place and having sex so I rejected his offer to come over because I didn’t want to end up getting my feelings hurt over time.

Since he did not come over I ended up getting drunk alone and reached out to an ex. He then called me and I went over, we only hung out, slept in seperate beds and drank together then I left in the morning because I was too drunk to drive.

Whilst I was at my exes house I had sent a snapchat and he could tell I was not home. I didn’t think he would care because it seemed like he was never that interested in me other than sex.

I then woke up and my crush had blocked me on everything except one form of communication, so I reached out and asked why he had blocked me. He then told me that he did have feelings for me the whole time and that he did care that I had seen someone else.

I am a little confused why this guy was only seeing me of a night to have sex if he had genuine feelings for me?

Is there anyway I could potentially resurrect this connection with my crush?