r/SisterMuslim

Assalem Aleykoum,

I’m 23 F, I made this post since I wanted to have a Muslima friend to talk with, share and talk about the deen, have a feminine friendship with and grow up together in our faith insh’Allah.

My hobbies are : reading books, watching anime, reading manga, going out for a little walk.

If you’re interested, don’t hesitate to message me ! 😊😊🤍🤍

(I did use ai to make it better, don't come at me)

I am struggling with a very complex family situation and don’t know where else to turn. My sister is ten years older than me, and while she was once the sweetest person, she has become someone I barely recognize—bitter, suspicious, and isolating herself from everyone who loves her.

The Context: My sister married young into our father’s family. The in-laws were incredibly toxic, but her husband was actually quite supportive at first. He tried to protect her; he would send her to stay with us when things got bad, and since he couldn't move her out of the family home, he built her a private portion of the house so she wouldn't have to interact with his toxic relatives.

Despite his efforts, my sister never warmed to him. She didn't show him respect or affection and would often speak badly about him at family gatherings. She seemed to save all her kindness for the "wrong" people—cousins and "friends" who gossiped about her and were jealous of her. She would host them lavishly and go out of her way for them, only to be betrayed every time.

The "Sihr" vs. Mental Health: A few years ago, the family dealt with what we believed was Sihr (spiritual affliction). They saw a Raqi, and the physical symptoms and unexplained medical issues she was facing actually cleared up.

However, her mental state has only worsened.

• Religious Diligence: She reads Surah Baqarah daily and is extremely consistent with all her protective Adhkar and extra Surahs. Because the physical problems are gone and she is so protected by her worship, I find it hard to believe this is still Sihr.
• The Paranoia: She is now convinced that a huge group of relatives—who aren't even in contact with each other—are constantly "renewing" spells on her. She creates elaborate scenarios in her head about plots against her.
• Blaming our Mother: She has cut off our mother, blaming her for "keeping relationships with toxic people." In reality, my mom only maintained basic ties for the sake of Silat ad-Rahim (kinship) and never over-gave or befriended them the way my sister did.

The Root of the Problem: I believe my sister is suffering from the psychological aftermath of decades of betrayal and hatred from people she tried to buy love from. Because she can't face her own poor decision-making or the way she treated her husband, she uses Sihr as a scapegoat for everything wrong in her life. If I try to suggest she has developed a negative thinking pattern, she loses her temper and accuses me of calling her "crazy."

She is now teaching her children to think this way, and they are starting to believe her paranoid narratives.

My Question: How do you help someone who is using religion and spiritual affliction to mask a clear psychological breakdown? How do I support my mother, who is heartbroken over being blamed for my sister's choices?

My last period ended on day five, technically day 6 because it ended around fajr time. I’m on day 4, and like there’s blood but sometimes it stops like when I wipe with a tissue to check it’s brown and then later there’s blood, like there isn’t any on my pad until I press the pad to see and then there’s blood, I’m not sure if I should do ghusl if there’s brown spots or if I should wait till I’m dry or there’s white discharge, I’m just worried that I’ll end up missing prayers that became fardh upon me if that makes sense, so I’m a bit worried. Can anyone help or give any advice on what I should do?

I just recently started but I thought I wouldn’t feel this way but I feel so insecure when wearing it, I always used to do light makeup but I’ve been trying not to but there are rare times where I feel so insecure when seeing women who are so beautiful with makeup on and hijabis with makeup on, or maybe they are naturally pretty, I just don’t like my dark circles and how my eye shape doesn’t show my eyelashes because they are naturally long, but it still makes me insecure and I’m not sure what to do. It’s just difficult because I seriously feel so insecure, all I could think about today was how gross I feel and how bad I think I must look right now, I kept trying to make myself look presentable in any way, I even try to minimise jewellery but it’s so difficult. I’m sorry if this is silly, it’s just been really difficult or at least it was today. It makes me feel guilty missing when I didn’t wear the hijab even though it was my decision, it just makes me emotional feeling like I’m not pretty, I just want to look pretty even if it’s just a tiny bit but I don’t want to be sinful but it’s difficult, or worried that now I have to wear a niqab or that a niqab is fardh, it’s all so stressful.