He had on brown boots dark jeans black shirt black hat dark hair about 5 ft 8 5 ft 9 the phone was ringing on the loudspeaker and we both laughed when they picked up and said this is Walmart how may I direct your call he was in your late 30s early 40s this was around 1:30 yesterday can't stop thinking about you should have asked you then that chickened out.
In this letter to you, I think about what i would say to you if i had the chance. This barely scratches the surface.
If I could say one last thing to you, it would be...
I wish I wouldn't have shown you the worst of me, even if that was the only way to get close to you. Wanting to be close to you was wrong. And still is wrong. It will always be wrong.
I don't know what came over me back then and even now I have a hard time with it all.
I've tried everything to get you out of my head. And Sunday I cried for this unhealthy addiction to end.
And now it has.
But I still feel sad.
I didn't want you to disappear.
But POOF! You're gone.
I have been spiraling, on the inside, since Monday around 10:00 AM.
It feels all too familiar. Like we have been here before. Exact circumstances and all.
But that may be me reaching and taking random things as signs.
Oftentimes I find myself in a daydream, dreaming that you feel the same. Since the day I met you, you have been my biggest distraction.
I thought these feelings would just go away in time, but really, they only intensified.
"A true case of limerence!" I say because I don't even know you.
If you only knew the amount of struggles I have gone through, the uncontrolled thoughts and attachment I have to you... and you didn't even do anything to warrant it. I don't understand it at all, and I am typically a very logical person. This stumps me.
There has never been a time to say these things and never will be.
If I could say one last thing to you, it would be...
I love the thought of you.
I am a 46 M who lost everything and all my friends after a major surgery. I don't have anyone in my life and can't work. I would really like to chat with someone preferably female and empathetic. I have been introverted most of my life but some think I am extroverted because I can talk with anyone anytime. However, I find that after I talk with someone or a group I am extremely tired and need quiet to rest. I would like to find one person I can tell my story to before I am not able to.