u/Creative-Lunch-7119

In this letter to you, I think about what i would say to you if i had the chance. This barely scratches the surface.

If I could say one last thing to you, it would be...

I wish I wouldn't have shown you the worst of me, even if that was the only way to get close to you. Wanting to be close to you was wrong. And still is wrong. It will always be wrong.

I don't know what came over me back then and even now I have a hard time with it all.

I've tried everything to get you out of my head. And Sunday I cried for this unhealthy addiction to end.

And now it has.

But I still feel sad.

I didn't want you to disappear.

But POOF! You're gone.

I have been spiraling, on the inside, since Monday around 10:00 AM.

It feels all too familiar. Like we have been here before. Exact circumstances and all.

But that may be me reaching and taking random things as signs.

Oftentimes I find myself in a daydream, dreaming that you feel the same. Since the day I met you, you have been my biggest distraction.

I thought these feelings would just go away in time, but really, they only intensified.

"A true case of limerence!" I say because I don't even know you.

If you only knew the amount of struggles I have gone through, the uncontrolled thoughts and attachment I have to you... and you didn't even do anything to warrant it. I don't understand it at all, and I am typically a very logical person. This stumps me.

There has never been a time to say these things and never will be.   

If I could say one last thing to you, it would be...

I love the thought of you.

I wish I wouldn't have shown you the worst of me, even if that was the only way to get close to you. Wanting to be close to you was wrong. And still is wrong. It will always be wrong.

I don't know what came over me back then and even now I have a hard time with it all.

I've tried everything to get you out of my head. And Sunday I cried for this unhealthy addiction to end.

And now it has.

But I still feel sad.

I didn't want you to disappear.

But POOF! You're gone.

I have been spiraling, on the inside, since Monday around 10:00 AM.

It feels all too familiar. Like we have been here before. Exact circumstances and all.

But that may be me reaching and taking random things as signs over time.

Oftentimes I find myself in a daydream, dreaming that you feel the same. Since the day I met you, you have been my biggest distraction.

I thought these feelings would just go away in time, but really, they only intensified.

"A true case of limerence!" I say because I don't even know you.

If you only knew the amount of struggles I have gone through in my mind surrounding, you. The uncontrolled thoughts and attachment I have to you. You didn't even do anything to warrant it. I don't understand it at all. I am typically a very logical person, but this stumps me. Maybe it's because when we were together, it was the last time I felt free. Maybe it's because I never felt that way with anyone. I hate myself for feeling this way. Especially given the circumstances. It doesn't change anything now that I am saying this out loud. I don't want to pursue you. It just feels better getting this off my chest.

There has never been a time to say these things and never will be.

If I could say one last thing to you, it would be...

I love the thought of you.