r/LGBTWeddings

My partner and I are both pansexual cis women. We have been together for nearly 5 years, and are getting married in 2 weeks (eloping with no family or friends attending). My parents have been very supportive ever since I came out about 5.5 years ago to them (I realized I was pansexual and not straight then, at the age of 34!). They have never been anything but supportive in regards to my partner who they really love and are always talking about how well matched we are. My partner and I both consider ourselves to be pretty androgynous but she leans more feminine while I'd say I lean more "tomboyish" though femme touches are always still there. I've always cut my hair quite short even when I went through a phase where I used to wear dresses daily. It's how I've always felt the most comfortable. For the wedding, I'm wearing a hot pink suit (women's suit) and my partner is wearing a dress.

Last night I got kind of a strange text from my mom asking "Are you both brides?". I kind of laughed at it, like of course we are...? But answered her "Yes". I told my partner about it when she got home and she laughed too but we decided to call my mom to clarify where the question was coming from as we found it kind of odd and it puzzled us. We called and mom said her sister had asked her and she wanted to clarify. I explained to her that we wanted to make sure mom understood as her bringing up this question made ME question what was going on in her head now about us. She brushed it off, said she understood, but said something like "I'm just glad you are both brides". We kind of nervously laughed. Then my mom said "I just wanted to make sure neither of you were going to have beards"??? At the time, again we kind of laughed at the surprise of a question like this and said "No mom... We are both women!". I said that just because I'm wearing a women's suit to the wedding doesn't mean I'm not a bride. Then I asked "Mom I'm concerned you don't understand the difference between being queer or gay and being trans, and we are not trans?" and she said she did understand.

After the phone call, I felt like I had more questions than answers, but I felt like I couldn't tackle them at the time because I wondered if my mom had been drinking a little last night when we were talking. So I decided that if I'm going to approach this conversation with her again I need to ensure she's sober. (She's not an alcoholic by the way, but I did call after dinner and I think she might have had some red wine and does get a little odd and loopy sometimes.)

Just kind of looking for ways in which I can gently approach this conversation with her so as not to embarrass her but also make sure she understands me and my partner a bit better especially with the wedding 2 weeks away. My parents do not have any queer/gay friends, family, etc in their lives so my partner and I are the only exception. She doesn't really consume any dramas or shows that would involve well flushed out queer characters or even trans ones, so I feel like she really may not understand the difference between the two (or at least her sister does not and planted a seed inside my mom's brain that maybe she doesn't know either!), and I had no idea until now. I want to make an attempt to have her better understand so that we can get married and I feel a bit better understood by my own mother. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

tldr: mom asked partner and I if "we are both brides" and if either of us was going to grow a beard, and now I'm questioning if my mom understands at all the difference between sexuality and being trans (we are not trans).

I am 30(F), bisexual since I can remember, and practicing ENM the last decade.
I am engaged to a wonderful cis man, and I guess I’m feeling shame at being a stereotype? Plus I’ve had some friends admit they are sad I am not marrying a woman… which I don’t even know what to say. Sorry I met him first?

Non monogamy has been very validating for me in that I haven’t had to lose the queer parts of myself just because my primary partner is a man.

I am planning a mini bachelorette weekend in Portland (Maine) with a group of all queer women and non binary people, granted half of us are cishet passing.
I said I don’t want a traditional bach, because this is not a ‘one penis forever’ kind of deal (it’s not even a one person forever thing, I am entering this marriage still practicing ENM)… plus I don’t want to wear a bow or a white sash.

My friend asked me if I want a theme, and my first urge is to celebrate my bisexuality.
My second thought, is if that’s fucked up?
I am marrying a man, and although I am queer as hell, we pass as a straight couple.

Is it wrong that I want to celebrate my bisexuality? I guess I just don’t want to lose those parts of myself and so I am keeping them front and center.
I don’t become less bisexual just because I haven’t dated a woman in some time, just like I don’t become less bisexual when I haven’t dated a man in some time.

I would love thoughts about this, and if anyone has non traditional bachelorette ideas I would love to hear them.
Currently we are staying at the beach, going lingerie shopping and doing a photo shoot, going to a queer bar, and TBD what else, probably hang at the beach / Airbnb and use the hot tub and fire pit. I need to brainstorm some games to play.

I would love to go to a burlesque show or kink event but not sure if they are having any that weekend, Portland is pretty small.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

In addition to my own queer wedding, I’m going to a couple other queer weddings this year. I have a handful of jumpsuits at the ready but I have no idea what bags and/or shoes to wear? I’m looking for something that’s still formal/cocktail appropriate but not super feminine. I don’t want a cross body bag for sure. Do you all have any advice, especially on the bag front? I’m at a loss.

I (32M) and partner (33M) will be getting married in under a month.

We've been together for more than 10 years and both our families are practicing Catholics. I just learned that after giving my parents some time that they chose not to attend my wedding. I feel hurt. They say it's against their faith and that by making them choose me over God, that it's drawing them into sin. I have had a rough and bumpy road with my family as it pertains to my sexuality. I still yearn for love and acceptance and I am beginning to learn that I may not receive the love that I want and deserve from my parents and extended family.

I still want a relationship with my parents after everything is said and done, but I am understanding now that there is a limit to what that relationship will look like. I do not blame my parents nor do I resent them. I also don't want to carry too much hope that they'll one day come around. I guess I am just sad and just want to show them that I am happy with my chosen lifetime partner.

In the end, I am choosing my partner for he is the most caring person I have ever met. He brings me joy, laughter, and peace within my life. Although my parents won't be at my wedding, I hope they come to see how much he means to me.

TLDR: Parents not coming to wedding. I am sad realizing the relationship I want with my parents likely won't be there. I choose my partner and maybe one day my parents will come around.

EDIT: Thank you to all for your kind words and encouragements. I really needed to write out my emotions and I am glad I did because folks like y'all really lift me and my fiancé up!

My mom died when I was very young and my dad is an abuser and no longer in my life. I am NB and find the idea of being walked down very sweet and am mourning that I don't have a parent to do that. HOWEVER I do have the most wonderful sister and sibling that I adore and have done so much to get me on my feet after the abuse and health problems. I would not be here if it weren't for them. I was thinking maybe they could walk me one on each side.

Has anyone else done this? How did it go and did it land the emotional response you were hoping for?

Heya! I'm getting married soon in (Pacific mountain area), originally I'm from (other state). My fiance is male and I'm a trans woman. I pass really well and my fiance's family has no idea that I'm trans.

It just occurred to me that there's likely to be legal documents people review, (ie birth certificates), and I'm starting to get worried that my birth sex will be reflected on any documents and officiant needs to review.

My birth certificate from my birth state has been amended and my copy that I have from the state reflects my birth sex as female. Is this a document that I can use or will a background check be brought up before or after getting a marriage license?

I really don't want to be outed via some paperwork to my fiance's family.

Drag Queen for Wedding Officiant?

My fiancee and I are having a big lesbian wedding this August, and we're looking for a drag queen to act as am officiant! We'll already be legally wed, so no certificate would be needed, but we've been having trouble with response rates.

So, I've got two questions for y'all:

1. Does anyone know of any Providence or Boston queens who you think would be good for a gig like this?

2. The inquiry we've sent out to a few queens (with no response yet) has been the following. If you think we're missing anything that contributed to a non-response, let us know!

"My fiancee and I are having a big lesbian wedding on \[date\] in \[location\], and we are hoping to have a local queen marry us! We would love to hear if you have interest and availability :)

As a queer couple, we're doing our best to prioritize hiring from within the LGBTQ+ community for our celebration. And we're not religious, so we got thinking about who a standard officiant generally is - someone who is a leader in their community, can project for a crowd, and can entertain during even serious moments. So we thought, who would be better than a drag artist? We'll be legally married before the actual wedding day, so no extra paperwork/credentials would be needed!"

Hi everyone, baby gays here looking to intimately tie the knot overseas but looking to have a ceremony and reception here in the PH so our friends and family can celebrate with us. We’ve registered at a wedding fair to be held in 2 weeks and I’m a bit scared that we might not be seriously entertained there since we’re the traditional couple they normally cater to.

Has anybody else attended wedding fairs and were they welcoming for the non-hetero couple participants?

Hi all - I'm doing a joint bachelorx with my partner and she's planning on wearing a "bride" sash but I'm not sure what to wear for myself? I was thinking maybe a crown or something that said "bachelorx" but wanted to see if other folks have seen anything or done anything themselves. Thanks for any ideas!

A friend is planning a proposal and needs a discreet way to determine his partner's ring size, given that the partner does not currently wear any rings to use as a reference. Any ideas? They are 2 males.

My friend is getting married literally tmr and it’s not at sum church or anything fancy, just got a judge to come to his parents house and I asked if he’s gonna wear a dress as a joke and he said he doesn’t even have a button up so he’s just gonna wear whatever he has… but that makes me even more confused on what I should wear😭 I’ve never been to a wedding before, let alone a gay one. I’ve never met his fiancé or family, this shi is stressin me out

Hello all! I'm officiating my best friends' sapphic wedding in a few weeks and would love any advice on short reading passages that would resonate . They don't want to have any speaking role except saying "I do" so I'm trying to find ways to lengthen the ceremony in an impactful way. Any other thoughts or advice for a first-time officiant would be great.