r/IssuesResolving

I, 19F, have been with my boyfriend, 21M for over a year and a half. We have been doing long distance since August because I moved away for college. My boyfriend is the sweetest person ever and he loves me more than anything, he has been there for me at my lowest and supports me in everything. My parents have always found something wrong with him since the beginning, first they didn’t like that he did not want to go to college (not something that bothered me bc college is a big financial decision and he still wants to do something with his life, he is one of the most hardworking people I know) though now he is considering going to college. Parents did not want him to become a distraction going into college (which they blatantly told him) and he truly was not. He always tells me the number one priority for me should be my studies and when we talk on the phone or facetime he always makes sure I have finished homework and studying. I returned from college two weeks ago and my birthday was last week, they are now upset that he did not come to visit me or bring me a gift, when in reality he asked me if he could come over to celebrate with us, but they are so strict to the point I feel uncomfortable when he’s here because of them so I told him no. He is not allowed in my room and we are only allowed to sit in the living room with supervision, i’m not allowed to go to his house without my brother accompanying me and we can only go out for 2-3 hours max. They always make it awkward and uncomfortable for me, and I always feel bad for him in these situations. He is so willing to comply with all their rules because he truly loves me and wants my parents to accept our relationship and support us, but recently they told me that I have to break up with him, or they’ll do it for me. They threatened that if I don’t break up with him I cannot continue with my studies, and that he will never fit into our family (they believe him and his family are lower class and uneducated because of their culture and background). They break my heart telling me all of this saying they know what’s best for me and that i’ll thank them one day, but I do not want to breakup with him, I don’t know what to do. I’m still dependent on them financially. I love my parents but I love my boyfriend and they don’t understand. Advice please?

I 16F have been homeschooled my whole life. I have terrible anxiety and no social skills whatsoever and possibly, and I say possibly, because I’m not self-diagnosing, but possibly I could have autism as well. Anyone I’ve met online has begged me to get tested, but it could just be because I have ocd this is important I promise anyway my 17F sister just graduated, and I had to go to multiple things at her school, and I’ve felt like super, super worried about missing out, and I feel like I’m going to miss out on going to school and having any type of connection with anyone maybe and just being normal also my father is always making fun of me for not going and how I “sleep all day and just play games” and my parents were so proud of her and I want that as well I want to do better and prove him wrong but here comes the issue I talked to my 15F girlfriend about it, and she said yeah she thinks it could be good for me but warned me about the reasons I listed above and why she also thinks it could be a terrible idea for me, and I was so happy that she was okay with this because we have had prior issues with stuff like this that ended up terrible. I won’t go into it much, but she is very like suicidal sometimes, and we’ve had issues with arguments and her thinking I was going to replace her and I fell asleep because I had been up all night for the graduation and when I checked my phone she had sent an entire message about how she didn’t want to be with me anymore and that school would’ve good for me probably, but she’s not going to wait around to be replaced and all of this stuff and how she wasn’t going to do this with me anymore, and then I said I just wouldn’t go even though I definitely still want to try, and she randomly started getting mad and saying how I ruin everything and all this stuff and cut to later she was fine, and I said I wouldn’t go, and she was joking about it and stuff and the were on the phone, and she said I sounded upset take into mind as well my dog is missing at this moment too and has been for a whole day, and I am very upset about that she was telling me a story of when she was in school prior to me becoming upset, and she said “school sucks, and you want to go” and I got upset because yeah why can she not just support that, but anyway she kept asking me to tell her what’s wrong, and then she asked if it was about my dog and I just said yes, and we talked about that, and I left it at that because I didn’t want to start another fight where she was trying to end her life. And then we got past that, and she asked to play Roblox and I said yes and then all of a sudden she was saying not to talk to her, and now it is the same argument all over again, and I’m unsure what to do with this so what do I do exactly??

I recently got my boyfriend his dream cat for his birthday. Me and my boyfriend were long distance and finally broke the distance and moved in together. He’s 19, I’m 21 — yeah, yeah, I know the age, but let’s move past that for right now. I’m about to air myself out, but I have Bipolar Disorder 1 as well as Borderline Personality Disorder, so please keep that in mind.

In my relationships, when I felt scared, trapped, felt like I was gonna be left, or felt like the argument was too strong, I’ve resorted to ending things with them in the heat of the moment, which is terrible. I understand that now, and I’ve been trying to be better. By no means do my diagnoses excuse any of that behavior, but I do feel like they play a part.

He has lost trust in me that I won’t leave him, which is completely fair, and he told me that he won’t try to trust me not to leave him unless I put the cat’s name in his name. I told him that was valid, but he’s upset at me because I can’t put him as primary on our vet stuff because you have to be 21 and older. He was kind of being very rude about it, which is out of my control.

He also works and I don’t, so he’s not able to take the cat to every vet visit, which I am. So I feel like me being primary and him secondary, just for veterinarian stuff, shouldn’t be this big of an issue. I even told him I would get a pet license for him once the cat got his rabies shot, and that would show that he’s the owner. But he says that a pet license is nothing, which is very confusing because a pet license literally is legal proof that you are the owner.

As we are talking about this, it just makes me feel really sad, which I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel, but it makes me a little sad that I have to put our animal completely in his name for him to trust me. Which may be my own doing, but it does hurt my feelings.

I always think, if we do break up, what happens to the other cats that this cat has bonded to? Because my other cats have completely bonded with our new cat. He’s also told me a bunch of times that he feels unsure about the relationship and unsure that our wants are the same, when I’ve completely compromised everything for him. Like, when I wanted children and marriage, I completely compromised all of that for him, and I feel like I’m not heard.

I’m sorry, this is really a yapping session, but any advice would really help. What would you do?

Girls, idk if this is normal or not, idk if iam in the wrong or they’re in the right. Here’s a little context:

I found a really nice guy and i want to marry him, its been one year and ive told my family about him. That i have to get married to him and somehow they’re not accepting although my boyfriend is super nice to them, respectful all the time. He has faced disrespect and a lot of shit from my family. He wants to marry me aswell. His family is super nice to me. But my family is creating a lot of issues and i have to face shit everyday because of this. i havent given up for 1 year and i dont know what to do and im kinda losing it now.

Also iam the youngest earner with the highest income in the house. Idk if this is the reason they dont wanna marry me off or what