Climbing gear I have wished existed, but does not
It's Sunday and I'm stuck in a boring place, and YouTube ran out of videos, so I find myself in the uncomfortable position of being able to hear my own thoughts. Yuck.
Anyway, here goes:
- A pair of dolly wheels to attach to the bottom of your haul bag. Partly for the trail approaches, but also for reducing friction when hauling on low angle slab. Why should golfers and hockey players benefit from this ancient technology, but big wallers gotta suffer?
- Cams with lobe springs that you can fully disconnect with the tip of a nut tool, to make them easier to get out... I actually do know why those crooked fuckers at Big Cam won't let us have these: Because the more gear we get stuck, the more gear we gotta buy.
- Nuts and pitons made from from a metal alloy with *ACCELERATED* corrosion, so you can bail on them, and then they magically fall themselves out after a few days/weeks, and disintegrate into powder... Automatic LNT!
- The bolt gun Stallone used in "Cliffhanger"... People say this isn't possible, but I've used powder-actuated concrete nail guns, and I'm pretty sure the only obstacle to getting it to work on granite is a bigger powder charge, and better recoil management, you pussies.
- A Velcro shoe with 10 smaller Velcro straps that go all the way to the toe, like a lace up.
- Crack gloves shaped like tape gloves, butadr of rubber that loosene when you stick it in hot water. So you can make tighter crack gloves, but still get them on & off easier.
- Passive pro that just keep getting bigger, and bigger. And bigger. Chimney sized Tricams, motherfuckers... Big Bros that cannot be shipped via USPS.