r/AdoptiveParents

We just finished the first part of our adoption home study process and have two more sessions to go, with the next one coming up in a couple of weeks.

Our social worker mentioned that the upcoming interviews and questionnaires will get pretty personal, including separate interviews, so now I’m curious what that actually looks like in practice.

If you’re open to sharing, I’d love to hear what your experience was like, what kinds of questions came up, and anything you wish you’d known going in. Mostly just trying to mentally prepare and understand what to expect.

So our young adult daughter found her birth mother recently. She is now becoming distant from us. It is early in the process so I don’t think she has met with her yet. It just feels so strange. I’m trying to be supportive.

How many inquiries did yall do until you were matched with a waiting child? One person on here uses the same agency as we are and was told 300ish. That number just seems super high, so I wanted to get some perspective. Thank you!

Hey!
We took in a family members child a little over a year ago. Long story short his parents have died, he’s had a traumatic life and we didn’t really know him before taking him in.

He’s been doing great however he’s starting to have a crazy attitude all the time and it’s throwing us for a loop as people who don’t have other kids and myself feel like 26 year old child.

I know part of me should be happy he feels safe enough to have an attitude now but it’s difficult knowing where to draw the line. Especially when I know what he’s been through and can relate to a lot of it. How much do you let slip while also enforcing the rules and teaching that they can be upset but are still held to a standard.

I also understand why he’d have a hard time listening to us. We’re basically strangers that decided to take on a parenting role and we don’t have a decades worth of repor with him.

And I figure someone will ask - yes he is in therapy.

Hi there, my husband and I reside in Canada and are looking at our options for adoption. We’ve been told that adoption from the US is likely to be faster (even as Canadians) due to the higher number of children available for adoption in the US than in Canada. If any Canadians on here have experience adopting from the US, I would really appreciate hearing from you!

Hello!

my husband and I are adopting a baby boy due in August, and plan on adopting a second child (we’re hoping for a boy) about 1.5-2 years afterwards.

what are some things you all have done to ensure your children are close, not just in childhood, but through adulthood as well.

thank you!

Hi, well, I suppose I can get some help or guidance for the slightly different adoption of a 16-year-old girl. I know, it may be old, but believe me, she is a very special and sweet girl, perhaps she is old but she doesn't look it; she is small and goes unnoticed as if she were much younger.

I need advice and agencies, please.

This will be our third Mother’s Day since she started calling me “Mom”. I was really hoping this year would be different, as we’ve never spent a Mother’s Day together. She usually sends me a text that says “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom”. She has a lot of trauma around mothers, and I know it’s not her job to celebrate me. I’m just sad.

And can you answer these questions (or some of these questions- even 1 would be super helpful for my qualitative research)?

What have been your experiences with your child's schools, teachers, etc.? Can you describe an encounter (or situation) with a teacher (or other staff member) that was especially positive (or negative)?

What are your family’s most important cultural practices or family traditions?

• Has your family shared your culture/traditions with the school? If yes, how?

• What are your hobbies, skills, interests, talents? Have you shared any of these with the school? If yes, how?

• What kinds of activities have you been a part of at your child's school? What kinds of activities would you like to be a part of at your child’s school?

• What kinds of things do you do at home to support your child's learning, or his/her success in school?

• Do you have scheduling issues, transportation needs, etc. that keep you from being involved at school, or with your child's learning at home?

• How does the child’s school/ teacher communicate with your family?

• Do you feel welcome at the school? What helps you feel welcome? What causes you to feel unwelcome?

• What would you like the school to know about you, your child?

• What is working well for you and your child in his/her class(es), or at school?

• What concerns do you have about your child’s academic progress, his/her class(es), or school?

• Would you like to know more about your child’s progress? His/her school? What would you like to know?

• In what ways does the school affirm your child’s/family’s culture?

• What are examples of ways your child’s culture has been ignored in school?

• What should the school be doing differently?

We will be renewing our home study within next few months.

In June, we have our home study visit. July is when our home study needs to be officially renewed by.

What does the renewal process look like? Is it as intensive as the first round?