r/AITAbasic

I (27 F) just got married to my husband (30 M) two weeks ago, and we immediately went on a week long honeymoon. A few days ago, he told me that the Monday before our wedding, his cousin (who he says he’s very close to and considers like a brother but I never see and wasn’t even at the wedding) texted him saying he didn’t think my husband should marry me because I’m an “unbeliever” and in a “dangerous place” spiritually.

For context, my husband is Christian and I am not. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school from ages 5–18, and genuinely tried to believe for a long time but just couldn’t. This isn’t something I can change or “try harder” at. Also, this cousin texts him a devotional every morning, which I am sure my husband reads in its entirety 😒 (sarcasm, he has never read a book since I’ve known him)

When my husband told me about the message, I asked to see it and asked how he responded. He was shaking and very nervous. He basically told his cousin he knew he loved him and cared about him, and that he also wished I was more religious and was praying God would “move in both of us.” He also said he could be wrong, but I’m not sure what he meant by that. Wrong about marrying me??

That obviously really hurt me. Not just what his cousin said, but that my husband didn’t defend me and instead seemed to validate where his cousin was coming from. It also hurt hearing that he wishes I was different in such a core way.

On top of that, he didn’t tell me about any of this until after our wedding and honeymoon. He said he didn’t want to stress me out, but it feels bad knowing something that big was kept from me intentionally. He just didn’t want to argue.

I tried to talk to him about it calmly and explained that I don’t need him to fight with his cousin, but I do need to feel like he has my back and that it’s not okay for someone to speak about me like that. I said even something simple like telling his cousin he’s happy in his marriage, that what he said was hurtful to me, and that he’s not open to conversations like that again would help me feel supported.

He doesn’t want to do that. He says he doesn’t want to create conflict and that if it comes up again in the future, he’ll address it then. I don’t like that because it feels like it leaves what was said unaddressed, like it was acceptable for his cousin to talk any kind of way for me because my husband allows it (agrees with it, in fact).

Now we’ve been arguing about it, and he’s started saying that I’m “choosing to be upset” and that if he had never told me, everything would be fine, and I’m making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

He admitted he just doesn’t want to make it weird by saying anything to his cousin, but he literally told him not to marry me and that I was in a dangerous place!!! I am fairly sure I am not the a hole, but open to advice.

So AITA for still being upset and wanting him to address it with his cousin instead of just letting it go?

I (28F) & my boyfriend (30M) have been living together for about a year. (Note: I own the home)

I have always been an animal lover and have a HUGE soft spot for animals. I have had all different kinds of pets growing up, and currently have 3 rescue cats each found and rescued from different situations.

Less than 2 months ago, I was driving to work and found a dog running on the side of the road. I immediately stopped my car and did everything I could to catch him. Long story short, I did lure him into my car with beef jerky, took him to the vet, located his old owner, who told me her husband did not like dogs and offered me to keep him.

I did.

He is a very sweet 5 year old dog who is affectionate, goofy, and snores adorably loud. The cats have been getting more used to him, and my boyfriend started to really like him — even though he did NOT want to keep him and was adamant at first he wanted to give him away.

Fast forward to now, things were good and we have enjoyed our new dog aside from some accidents inside the house and the occasional trash raid.

However, today I arrived home and was preparing food. I dropped a wrapper on the floor and our dog picked it up and walked away with it. I asked my boyfriend to grab it so he doesn’t swallow it.

He walks up to our dog from behind, reaches for it, dog growls, then snaps at his hands and successfully gives him a cut on both hands. He takes a step back, stands there, frozen — still staring at our dog, and the dog jumps up and snaps once more at him. Before anything else could happen, I stood up, shouted “ *dog name* NO!” And our dog immediately stopped. I let him outside and shut the door.

My boyfriend did not have serious injuries (scratches on his wrist, one 1”-1.5” long cut that bled a bit on his finger) but was visibly shaken up.

My boyfriend immediately told me he wanted to splatter the dogs brains all over, that he would kill him if he ever did anything like this again, or take him directly to the vet to be put down, that “that’s what happens when a dog bites the hand that feeds them” and was upset that I did not want to kill my dog over this.

I tried to compromise by immediately booking a consultation for anti-food aggression dog training, and that for now if it made him feel safer we could use a shock collar (I know, I didn’t want to but this was a last resort).

He told me he no longer felt comfortable in the home with our dog there, would not come downstairs if the dog was here, and refused to let him outside or feed him anymore.

I completely understand he is upset and was injured. It’s not okay. However, I do not agree with him that I should kill my dog over this.

I feel slightly bad because after it happened I asked him why the hell he crept up behind our dog and tried to grab food out of his mouth — that he could have shoved him away from him and asserted some kind of dominance.

Boyfriend also left to get food and before he would come back in the house, he made me lock the dog outside. I eventually let him back in and our dog was back to his normal self, not even a bark, and is currently sleeping.

I’m not sure what to do to make this eventually better…he says that “thing” is no longer his dog, and he wants it dead. He said I downplayed what happened and I didn’t take him seriously.

I’m honestly still shocked this happened because our dog has never done anything at all like this before to me. Even my boyfriend has taken things away from him before without incident. I also feel the way he handled and reacted to this incident made me lose a little respect for him…although yes he was bitten, I am a little confused how he was this terrified. I admittedly have had big dogs my whole life and have actually been bitten similarly a few times, but never once wanted to kill an animal over resource guarding.

I told him that I would not get rid of my dog, and that if he was afraid to stay here he could move out. I’m worried that we will end up breaking up over this.

So Reddit, AITA for choosing my dog over my boyfriend?

AITA for getting upset that my girlfriend keeps accusing me of looking at other women and sometimes gets physical with me?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for two years. I love her deeply. I’m genuinely attracted to her, our sex life is great, and I’ve never cheated, flirted, or even looked at another woman in a way that would disrespect her.

But she frequently accuses me of “checking out” other girls when we’re in public. Sometimes it’s someone walking by, sometimes it’s a waitress, sometimes it’s literally someone on TV or in a movie. The thing is: I’m not doing it. At all. I’m not even tempted. I’m madly in love with her.

These accusations get much worse when she’s on her period. I understand hormones can make emotions stronger, and I try to be patient and supportive. But it gets to a level I’ve never experienced before with anyone. I grew up around women, I’ve dated before, and I’ve never had this kind of issue.

When she gets into this mindset, I can’t reason with her. She’ll yell at me, accuse me of being “distracted by other girls,” and a few times she has pushed me or hit me out of anger. I’ve never yelled back or gotten physical. I just shut down or walk away because I don’t know how to handle it.

Afterward, she’ll calm down and act like nothing happened, or say she was just “emotional.” But the accusations come back the next month, and the cycle repeats.

We live together and I want a future with her, but this is becoming a huge problem for me. I’ve never given her a reason to distrust me, and being yelled at or shoved over something I didn’t even do is wearing me down. I don’t know how to bring this up without her getting defensive or angry again.

So Reddit… AITA for feeling like this behavior is becoming a dealbreaker and wanting it to stop?