just a rant ig
ok, so, my girlfriend is ghosting me for now like 1 week. I do NOT have any friend, i swear i just stay on my pc/phone everyday. It's actually pretty good for me, since this is how i always wanted to 'live' but my mom is forcing me to go out (for context: i'm not going to school for like 6 months, so not going out even for school). Right now i'm seeing a pyschologist and he's pretty good. The problem is that i actually don't wanna get better because that would mean going out and leaving my dream 'life'. So i'm actually saying some lies to him though i'm trying to be as honest as possible. I went here for a social anxiety and now he knows i tried killing myself, i hurt myself and i have horrible thoughts. It's the first time where i tell to someone the reality and it's weird in good and a bad way. I'm thinking about starting streaming with my mom not knowing.. since she's not fine with it. My life pretty sucks at this point, I started overdosing every week and i'm finishing the pills, both a good and a bad thing. I wish i was diagnosed with something like depression or something like that, even worse if it is possible.