u/witheredrose4392

one bite is enough to start the damn cycle. I hate myself. It's so sick

Today I ate a lot again. I didn't get it all out and I look at my belly and imagine it will become fat. I just want to share some things like that because I know there are people here who have the same issues. I don't want anyone close to me to know what's happening. I don't want their help. No. It's my right because I do this by my own. I surely want to stop but at the same time no. And I know that this b/p is totally meaningless. Like you drive to the mall again and again just to spend gas and buy nothing. so does bulimia. Spend money for food just to disappear into a moment without benefit only money, time and health waste. Sending courage to you all who read this.

this fucking disease doesn't leave me alone. I keep trying to control myself but I've lost the ability. My mind keeps thinking of ways to eat. And of course I'll p**ge. Otherwise if I resist I'll hate myself. I already do.