Came out to my friends and feel lonelier than before
I discovered I was aroace at the beginning of this year and only came out to my friends last night while drunk. One of those friends is also an ex of mine.
They all seemed accepting but I couldn’t help but feel like it made them feel bad for some reason, especially my ex. Most of it might be in my head but it felt like I was telling them I had some sort of disease instead of getting congratulated for my sexuality. And it didn’t seem like they could relate to me at all, so they couldn’t really find it in themselves to care. I felt less repressed by saying it but it made me feel more disconnected from them than before (though I’ve been feeling that way already for a while now).
I don’t know why I’m feeling so sad, I feel like I’m usually an optimistic person but it’s been rough lately. I’ve been struggling with a lot of internalized aphobia and loneliness. Additionally, after I came out to my ex, they told me that they were seeing someone else and it just reminded me that I might die alone one day.
That’s about it, I’m not really that good at describing these feelings I’m having but hopefully it made sense.