The concept of bare minimum in Singapore's dating scene
Recently, a TikTok video in which a Singaporean lady listed her non-negotiables in a romantic partner went semi-viral and was even shared on a subreddit associated with Singapore.
The TikToker said that her partner has to be someone who:
- Does not smoke / vape, have a history of cheating, or party often
- Is not an alcoholic
- Has an annual salary of at least 70k
- Is attractive to her and minimally 172 cm tall (she is 168 cm herself)
She also said that she was "already all of [those requirements] and more".
There were mixed reactions, with some commenters arguing that she was asking for too much, or that her "type" is impossible to find these days. She responded with a separate video, noting specifically that "no smokers, cheaters, and alcoholics" is the bare minimum. I think that most people would actually agree, and even have the same set of bare minimum requirements.
The salary criteria may be tougher to fulfill, since it is the equivalent of a 5.8k monthly pay. That being said, 5.8k is not an entirely unsurmountable level, especially for those who have worked for a few years. Some jobs, even at the entry level, would pay 70k annually if bonuses are included. Since she implied that she is earning more than 70k annually, it also seems to be a fair requirement. Physical attraction is subjective so we cannot comment much, but I was also surprised that the height requirement was posing a challenge for her, given that the average height of males here is about 173 - 174 cm.
The TikToker expressed difficulty in meeting men on dating apps who fulfill her list of requirements. Yet, given that her non-negotiables are fairly rational and reasonable, as well as the fact that dating apps are teeming with men, this is a very unusual outcome for her.
It has left me wondering whether we subconsciously allow ourselves to only accept standards way higher than our pre-defined "bare minimum". If that is the case, then is there truly a "bare minimum"? Or is it just something that we eventually settle for, when other ideal options run out? Otherwise, if the bare minimum is something we accept, is it something that we are really happy accepting?
What are your thoughts on the TikToker's requirements? I personally meet all of them, but unfortunately fall short (pun unintended) of her height criteria, so I would not say it is unrealistic. I would also love to see some discussion on what your bare minimum standards or non-negotiables in a partner are! More importantly, do share whether you would agree to go on a first date with anyone who fulfills them and satisfies a preliminary vibe check (I know that going beyond the first date is more contingent on chemistry, rather than just the bare minimum stats).