Is it wrong to be childless in Islam?
Salam, I've never been married nor have kids, but I was thinking of being completely childless even after marriage- even if im capable of having them.
I know a lot of men want kids after marriage, and my chances of finding a man who doesn't kids is extremely slim, but i do not see the appeal at all in bearing a child and giving birth; seeing my body going through so much- having potential of death or risks that can linger on in my life after birth. Then having to juggle the responsibility of children as a mother whilst also being a wife to my husband- that seems so exhausting. I have so much respect for women who go through birth and have the ability to take care of kids, like warriors.
On top of that, I have heavy fear of marrying a man who may be violent. I've grown up around violence even as a muslim from my father- his love goes beyond expectations and i love him a lot, but his emotions are unstable. Whenever things happen- sometimes it is my fault- he always makes the excuse that IM the one pushing for him to hit me or have his voice echo outside the house. However, my mother is a VERY strong woman. She's put up with my dad for more than 2 decades and subhanallah she's changed him throughout the years- even though he's violent at times- he's a way better person in other aspects. She works & takes care of the kids, our health, our info/bills, and other things. She is the reason I still have hope in life. My dad cant really do anything by himself- *kind* of like a man child, he only ever lectures us on Islam and being a good muslim (ironically, he rarely prays or reads quran himself other than playing it on the TV). So when I see that there are marriages/families that don't have violence and still live in peace; I think to myself, "Is that really possible?" I feel like i wouldn't be as strong as my mother, let alone live a life like that around my dad where im still deciding to this day how I should balance my fear & love for him.
I also fear men who think that doing work alone and not being around the house to help is fine...Or being a muslim woman who has grown up in america and having many interests/ambitions and being adventurous; like art, traveling, being expressive/social, trying new things, having my own work life..etc. Then seeing muslim men want a 'traditional wife' and a woman who has 'hayyah' and is quiet and peaceful, I feel like I have better opportunities with non-muslim men than muslim men themselves. (Though i'll never go towards that path).