Well stuff went downhill after the dr appointment I had a few days ago and long story short I am now in the emergency department with sh. Stressed out of my mind but we'll see how it goes.
I've tried reaching out for help so many times at this point. I've been severely depressed for 6 years now and I've been self harming for 3. I reached a tipping point a few weeks ago where I realised I actually cannot continue like this or I will end up with permanent issues from self harm or I will kms... And I need help.
I made an appointment with a GP. I made a list of things to discuss. I went in, we talked for a long time about some very uncomfortable things, (I hate vulnerability), but I was willing to try if there was a chance of not feeling so fucking awful all the time... He wrapped it up and went "so I don't like prescribing meds at least until people try therapy but I'll get you to do some blood tests and put you on a 12 week waitlist for therapy" and like. I get not prescribing meds the first time you see a new patient and I get that there's no magic fix but I'm going to fucking die if I don't get something helpful really soon. Three months before I can even meet a therapist isn't going to cut it. I have a follow up appointment to discuss the blood test results so I might ask if there's anything else he can do for me but I don't know. I feel like he didn't even realise how bad it is. He didn't even screen for SI. I genuinely don't know what to do now. This was kind of my last hope.