Future of my adopted sister.
My parents adopted my sister (infant) when I was 12. She is my cousin's daughter. Coming from the east and conservative, adoption has a bad stigma. Because of this my parents decided to not tell her.
Now she is 21. Since I was younger, I've always argued with my parents that they should tell her that she's adopted and educate her from a young age that adoption is a beautiful thing. They disagreed (still do) and plan on telling her when she is married and kids and have a settled life.
Our whole community knows that she is adopted except for her. I bring this issue up here and there and we always end up in strong disagreements.
I recently had an argument about this with them and reasoned how it's unfair for her future husband and her kids to tell her that identity shattering news then. My parents says that since it's been smooth sailing until now they are praying that she will take the news well.
I told them that it's crazy how they just hope that she will 'take it well' and expect to get on with her life. My parents hate when I bring this up and just tells me I should pray instead of trying cause chaos since it's currently not an issue.
Am i tripping or making it a bigger deal than it is? In my head I feel like she will have a crazy amount of betrayal and identity crisis since her WHOLE reality will change and I hate to feel but partly responsible (being in on the 'lie'). I love my sister to death and only want the best for her. And tbh, I feel like my parents are being selfish by applying their stigma, mindset, and culture instead of doing what (i think) it's best for her.
I would love to hear if there's someone had similar experience and how they went about it.