u/twinkhon_gwyndolin

i'm just so sick of people, particularly normies, making assumptions about me. i guess my mother counts as a normie too, because she shares the same sentiments as those who judge me.

people who claim that i'm not "vulnerable" enough, that i'm too negative, that i don't try hard enough in life. they know nothing about me and yet they lie to me, thinking that i'm not capable of closeness when their definition of closeness is almost entirely performative. they don't care about emotional resonance, they simply want to hang out with people who don't make them uncomfortable. as soon as i drop the mask, as soon as i am honest about my feelings, they all just fuck off.

i don't know. maybe my standards really are a bit too high. i guess i'm looking for a "soulmate" in platonic form. someone who understands me without my having to translate for them.

p.s. if you come into my thread just to only talk about your life, then i'd appreciate it if you could make your own thread please.

one girl on discord who last replied on march 29, another person who hasn't said a word since april 6. a third person who's been leaving me on read consistently, even though they at least talk to me from time to time.

feels like closeness is actually impossible for me. I've always wanted a bestie, but people don't even want to be casual friends, let alone close friends. online people are too fickle and offline people aren't interested in me.

i really don't want to hear any of the "self love" crap either. no one, and i mean NO ONE, can thrive off of internal validation alone.

one girl on discord who last replied on march 29, another person who hasn't said a word since april 6. a third person who's been leaving me on read consistently, even though they at least talk to me from time to time.

feels like closeness is actually impossible. feels like i'll never matter to anyone. i don't know what i keep doing wrong

i feel like I just never received a manual on "female socializing" that most girls did get. had "boyish" interests too, like lego, video games, science fiction movies and so on.

i know I'm not the only person who's like this. think i must've talked to at least one other redditor who told me the same thing about her own life. but it feels like most girls I talk to never really struggled with female belonging. just feel like an outcast really