How should I go about this?
Assalamualaikum,
So for context I have 2 best friends, ‘A’ & ‘B’, in which both of them are not Muslims. A is a Hindu while B is a Buddhist.
Recently, A has been on a slow journey to deconstruct religion and has been more vocal about her criticism towards religions to us. The issue lies with A sending tiktoks to the group chat or to even me personally, indirectly targeting my religion. Many of the content she has sent has very ill comments about Islam, or the practises. Every time we hung out, there’s at least just once she would somehow end up mentioning religion in the conversations, and as someone who is visibly the most “religious” as I wear the hijab, I always found myself defending and complying to her needs. B, on the other hand, is super respectful and does not question many things. She’s always been the more polite, laid back type to not provoke anyone / anything. She is curious about my faith but not to the extent where we debate.
The thing that is so confusing to me is that A always asks us to pray for her, and that she prays for us too. She says even in her own religion she enjoys certain aspects but there are some things she doesn’t agree with either. One time, I talked about this man who read hundreds of books but ultimately only the holy Qur’an is his favourite, and that I just found it amusing he’s so dedicated to his faith. She, however looked confused and asked how can a religious book be someone’s most personal favourite? I remember hearing this and B awkwardly remained silent, and I had to say why not? I wish I spoke more, and my mood actually went down after that because she’s making me question what she truly feels about me sometimes.
This has just been so difficult for me because we have been friends for over 8 years now, since we were like 12 and somehow I always feel like I’m never fully embracing my identity? They are both very respectful of my hijab, they would help me pull it up when it’s showing my skin etc… we have so many similar interests, we love cheering on for each other, we love being close, and I can go on. I genuinely don’t know how to get out of this situation, because A is on her own spiritual journey and it seems like perhaps she’s been projecting her own feelings and doubts on to me, which of course without her even realising it makes me feel… uncomfortable. I also never know if I should confront, because I’m worried about the after math, and if we will become awkward with each other…. They have been very helpful and impactful in my life many times throughout… so I can’t find myself losing them :(
If you read this far, thank you so much- and any advice is appreciated 🫶🏻🥹