u/tringenbowel

am i the only one that has been told this throught my life?

people telling me they can't imagine me being lean, that i'm probably meant to be this way, it's my genetics and the way i'm supposed to live

now i'm not blaming this on anyone, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't believe it was true, that i'm meant to be that way. i thought: maybe they re right, maybe i'm just supposed to be fat and i should just accept it, it's probably not possible for me to lose weight

sad thing is, it was never just people around me, my parents drove with me to a doctor on the other side of the country just for me to lose weight, i still remember the doctor saying "u will always gain weight, there's nothing u can do but constantly gain weight" the way he phrased it sounded like "it's over for u unless u constantly do something ab it and u can never be normal and lean like others, no matter what" which further pushed me away from trying

i went to nutritionists as a kid, no one ever mentioned calories, i was given a list of foods to eat and foods to not eat (very boring list must i say)

i thought: in order to lose weight, i have to eat these foods for the rest of my life and keep at it, unless i do so, ill never lose weight and keep it off

which yet again, made me not even want to try anymore

if only someone, anyone, back then as a kid couldve told me i could lose weight still eating my favorite foods, not have to exercise 24/7 and just focus on how much i eat of each food instead, maybe it could've been different, but the way people phrased it, made it feel like all or nothing, which lead to me gaining lots of weight and giving up all together. the joy of eating good foods a lot at the cost of my health took over

now, i know about calories, i'm 20F and i've lost 23kg/50.7lbs, and i need to lose around the same amount to be at a healthy weight i strive for. it feels like i prove everyone around me it's not all or nothing after all, u don't need to give up everything u like and live miserably for the rest of ur life as i've been told

communities like these have helped me as well, seeing people succeed and realizing it's possible for me as well. i don't have to be anything and i can be whoever i want to be if i try hard enough

thank you for reading and feel free to share your thoughts or experience

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i've been losing weight since august 26 2025, i've lost around 23kg/50 pounds so far, i still have to lose some weight tho, around the same amount. im a 20F.

whenever i see people eating good foods online or irl i can't help but imagine the calories, thinking how could i fit that into my calories? how do people eat those and still stay lean? i saw vids of people eating straight from a cake without weighting it and in my head i thought "will i ever even be able do to that?" "did they stop after the video?" "how are they so lean" "how are they not worried of the calories"

it's very hard for me to stop when i eat something good, it feels like i don't fully enjoy it unless i have more, although 95% of the time i fit things into my calories and i don't really go over (1500kcal)

i've had a period of time where my appetite was gone throughout this weight loss journey, i could barely eat anything, and it felt horrible. which is weird, now i'm facing the opposite, and i wish i could have no appetite again although i know neither of these is ideal and it does me no good

looking at foods, i only see numbers. will it always be like this? will i ever be able to stop counting calories? or will i just gain it all back?

if u've experienced this or anything, i'm wondering how do u deal with this, or if anyone has any insight or opinion

thank u for reading!

i find this to be like so common its actually crazy

i could talk to new people and i feel like at first i'm holding back my personality, don't say much, and then i'm like... ight, i think i can let out a small bit of it

then i hear it "what drugs did u take" "are u drunk?" xd and sometimes I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY RE JOKING??????????

sometimes it might make me hold back, overthink a bit, feel the need to stay low, but sometimes i don't really care and i'm like it is what is it xd

but i'm seeing a pattern, it happens quite often, so i'm wondering if it could be related to my personality type and if other enfps experience this?

i find it that a lot of times, i'm open to having literally discussions about everything and anything even ab things people might find odd/weird/TMI to mention, but for me it's just like not like that really

i'm very open to talking about anything, i might hsesitate to open conversations ab stuff like that at first but once i see the other person taking initiative it feels safe to do so

it's just that i find quite everything to be normal, human like, it could be issues or habits we have as people, that might feel odd to be talked about by some people, but in my head im wondering why is it considered a taboo subject, now obv theres some exceptions and limits, what the other person feels comfortable with and same for me

i'm fine w people telling me the most random, deep, out of pocket stuff, and i kinda like it when i can feel comfortable to do so as well

do u guys feel the same?

What kind of philosophy do u feel like u lean towards to the most? I feel like i'm mostly leaning towards stoicism and maybe absurdism.

I kinda like the idea that everything and anything is possible if we put our mind to it, to not let things outside our control take over us and do whatever we can, and just do the things we want to do.

Life has no meaning, but that's fine, for me, it feels like that just gives it more freedom, although sometimes it might make u question it its even worth doing stuff (which leans into nihilism kind of), but at the same time it's like "i can do what i want then, no?"

So yeah i'm kind of all over the place with it, but i enjoy stoicism and the way it can change ur mindset around stuff.

So, whats ur philosophy?