u/tilltheskyturnsblack

3.5 year old has sudden separation anxiety the past couple of months. Wants to be with one of us at nighttime. We have a baby who isn’t a great sleeper so my husband and I are in separate rooms for now.

3 year old knows she can’t come into me as I sleep with baby so she will go into my husband’s bed ( a single) in the spare room for a few hours each night. This doesn’t bother my husband and he seems to sleep well regardless, but it’s clear that our daughter isn’t getting quality sleep when she’s in the single bed with him (either that, or she is awake for a long time before or after going into his bed and missing out on sleep).

She’s exhausted every day without fail by about 3pm. She won’t nap unless we force a car nap, which is difficult as she only gets tired around the same time the baby is awake after his second nap, so even car naps are difficult to plan.

By 3pm, she is grumpy, manic, distracted, wired, saying and doing ridiculous things etc. it’s making planning activities really difficult and it makes me so sad to see her like this every day.

I’ve read that the best way to stop a child coming into your bed at night time is to firmly walk them back to their bed each time they try to get out, but that simply won’t work in our house. The walls are too thin. If my husband tries to bring to her back to her own bed, she’ll cry and shout, wake me up, wake the baby up, and then everyone is upset and miserable (side note: baby is a terrible sleeper and I’m midway to a mental and physical health crisis as results of not having slept in months, so we can’t afford to have anyone’s sleep suffering any further ).

So what I’m really looking for is preventative ways to keep her in her bed in the first place. Some people have suggested a new bed? any tips, gadgets anything whatsoever that may help would be appreciated. for context, she falls asleep independently and rarely protests bedtime - she just wakes up and then middle of the night saying she’s scared and wants her Daddy.

3.5 year old has sudden separation anxiety the past couple of months. Wants to be with one of us at nighttime. We have a baby who isn’t a great sleeper so my husband and I are in separate rooms for now.

3 year old knows she can’t come into me as I sleep with baby so she will go into my husband’s bed ( a single) in the spare room for a few hours each night. This doesn’t bother my husband and he seems to sleep well regardless, but it’s clear that our daughter isn’t getting quality sleep when she’s in the single bed with him (either that, or she is awake for a long time before or after going into his bed and missing out on sleep).

She’s exhausted every day without fail by about 3pm. She won’t nap unless we force a car nap, which is difficult as she only gets tired around the same time the baby is awake after his second nap, so even car naps are difficult to plan.

By 3pm, she is grumpy, manic, distracted, wired, saying and doing ridiculous things etc. it’s making planning activities really difficult and it makes me so sad to see her like this every day.

I’ve read that the best way to stop a child coming into your bed at night time is to firmly walk them back to their bed each time they try to get out, but that simply won’t work in our house. The walls are too thin. If my husband tries to bring to her back to her own bed, she’ll cry and shout, wake me up, wake the baby up, and then everyone is upset and miserable (side note: baby is a terrible sleeper and I’m midway to a mental and physical health crisis as results of not having slept in months, so we can’t afford to have anyone’s sleep suffering any further ).

So what I’m really looking for is preventative ways to keep her in her bed in the first place. Some people have suggested a new bed? any tips, gadgets anything whatsoever that may help would be appreciated. for context, she falls asleep independently and rarely protests bedtime - she just wakes up and then middle of the night saying she’s scared and wants her Daddy.