u/throwaway-54545

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I’ve written many of these and I always toss them, but I recently started writing the one I consider the “final” letter. So far it’s a page long and it will probably get longer. I’m trying to make sure that the people I leave behind know it wasn’t their fault and that I love them.

Writing it has made me sad many times. I’ve had to stop to to cry, and then I go back to it. It’s taken me a week so far because I have other things to do. I’ve donated lots of stuff, sold some stuff, and packed things I’m not ready to let go of.

I’m sure it’s sad to read this and I know it will be so hard for my family and friends to read my goodbye letter, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m a failure. I’m stupid. I should have listened to everyone who told me I was worthless. I should have ended it when I was still in high school. My family would be over it by now.

I can’t decide if I’ll write the final version by hand or type it up. By hand is probably better.

I’m so tired, and I’m looking forward to going to bed for a long time.