I (24 M) trusted her (24 F) completely, we were planning a future, and now I feel completely broken and alone
Hi everyone,
I don’t even know where to start. I never thought I would be writing something like this, but I feel like I have no one to talk to and I’m breaking from inside.
I was in a relationship with a girl. It was not casual for me. I loved her genuinely. She was also very loving in the beginning. We used to talk about everything, spend hours together, share our thoughts, our future, our life plans. She was the one who started talking about marriage, about building a life together. Slowly I started trusting her completely.
At one point, I went to meet her at her place. We spent time together like a couple who really loves each other. She cared for me, we ate together, she fed me with her hands, we hugged, we kissed, we got physically intimate. Nothing was forced. Everything felt natural, emotional and mutual. I thought this is real, this is the person I will spend my life with.
The most painful part is, just before everything ended, she was still talking normally, even romantically. We were talking about our future. There was no sign that something is wrong.
And then suddenly everything changed.
She stopped talking properly, then she blocked me. No proper explanation. No closure. Nothing.
I kept trying to understand what happened. I blamed myself again and again. I kept thinking maybe I did something wrong. But instead of any clarity, things started getting worse.
She started telling a completely different version of things to others. She started contacting my college mates through LinkedIn for no reason. I don’t even understand why. It feels like she is trying to damage my image and make me look like a bad person.
She is acting like the victim everywhere. Like she did nothing wrong. Like I am the problem. And the worst part is, people tend to believe her because she is playing it very smartly.
I have proofs of everything, but still I feel unheard.
Her younger brother even called me and abused me badly. He said things about my mother that I can’t even write properly. I was shocked. I couldn’t even react. I didn’t abuse back. I just listened. I still feel that moment again and again in my head and it’s killing me from inside.
I am not okay at all.
I am not able to sleep properly. I am not eating properly. My body keeps shaking sometimes. I get panic attacks. I keep replaying everything in my mind again and again. The moments when she was loving, and then what she became.
It feels like I lost everything.
I gave her genuine love, care, time, emotions, trust. I was never fake with her. And now I feel like I was just used and thrown away.
The worst feeling is not even the breakup. It’s the way everything happened. The sudden change. The lies. The defamation. The helplessness.
I feel very alone. She has people, friends, family. I feel like I have no one who understands what I am going through.
I cry a lot these days. Sometimes I don’t even realize when tears start coming. It feels unbearable at times.
I don’t even know what I am expecting by posting this. Maybe I just wanted someone to read this and understand that I am not the villain in my own story.
Right now I just feel broken, exhausted, and completely lost.