![23 [f4M] moscow/anywhere - i am lonely.](https://external-preview.redd.it/s9GpEYd84syiiyNNufZRJrhTcUwn9KBSpcWBNgfkHek.jpeg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=e99b47de470151680a62cb845a7f717630e36e91)
23 [f4M] moscow/anywhere - i am lonely.
the ample piles of snow have finally melted and been absorbed by the thirsty ground, littered by random evidence of sad human existence - dirty candy wrappers, cigs, dog crap that no-one ever picks up and other equally delightful things.
i walked around a small empty field last night for about an hour, listening to music and thinking about the dead internet theory but in real life. everyone is coexisting but most people don't want to know or care about one another. sometimes it feels fine because there are some perks to this invisibility but at different times you just want to be taken apart, piece by piece and have someone take a look into that famished void of your heart without looking away.
when i originally felt the first warm rays of sun on my skin this spring, i squinted from pleasure and let go of my constant annoyance for a moment but now it's back again, together with yearning for that fleeting exhilaration when you fancy someone and for a moment believe that they do too. that's why i'm here.
in my dream scenario i am cozily reclining on my lime green velvet sofa while listening to my dream man playing a string instrument to me and then coming over to scratch my head while we just talk about life and art and music.
with warmest regards, A.