Too much to handle.
It's 4:30 am. I have been trying to sleep for the past 3hrs. But too many thoughts, too much to handle at times. The more I try to run away from my thoughts, the more they latch on.
I have turned out to be a loser in all aspects of life. Family, career, ambition, goals everything. I had so many dreams and yet not a single one of them has been fulfilled.
I am the only earner in my family...stuck in a low paying job with no real future. And I can't even take risk to try something else because there's no security, no backup, no savings.. nothing at all. Here I'm laying on my bed racing my thoughts trying to think of anything at all that'd allow me to earn some extra money. People say money can't buy happiness... I'd agree to that. But atleast not worrying about money would give a good night's sleep I'm sure.
Being born in a poor family, with responsibilities but no backup no security is no less than a curse. The constant battle with self is impossible at this point.