AITA for being passive aggressive?
Husband and I have been together for decades. We have two kids and generally things are pretty good to great, however he gets really defensive in response to *any* criticism.
For example... little kid has been coughing all day today and yesterday. Doesn't seem serious, but it's almost constant. I'm telling kid to drink water, checking his temp, bringing cough drops. Husband is in the same space on his headphones and computer, and I said, "Can you not hear him?" I didn't raise my voice, but I asked because husband isn't reacting to kid at all. Nothing. Husband got mad, saying I'm judging him and being passive aggressive.
Meanwhile, two weeks ago I was sick and kid was very sick at the same time. I worked while sick and also took care of sick kid during the weekend -- all while I was still sick. Husband did not participate, despite watching all this happen.
A few weeks before then, big kid had the flu. I took the temperatures, dispensed the meds, brought the food, etc for days. 90% of the care was me.
I explained all of this, calmly, and asked for a more present partnership because it's really for his own children.
He's a great partner the vast majority of the time, but sometimes I feel like my legitimate concerns are weaponized because I didn't tell him exactly the way he (says) he wants to receive this info.
Now he's mad at anything I say... I may have called him a cretin when he got his food all over my work papers. Ugh. It was from a very old joke and I didn't think it was mean, but he got SO very mad and upset. Saying I'm judging him and telling him he has character flaws.
Which... I wasn't trying to? But now I'm just confused and wondering if I am, indeed, the asshole.
Help!