For context: I’m 26, was told I had Autism at 15 but not formally diagnosed until I was 25 24. I also have very bad migraines, anxiety, and depression and have recently also been diagnosed with OCD. I’m on medication for my migraine, but I’ve had too many bad experience with SSRI’s to treat the anxiety, depression, or OCD medically.
So, I still live at home with my parents because I’m not capable of functioning on my own. They had me in their early 40’s and are resentful that they’re almost 70 and still have to support me. They never really wanted to have a child despite the fact that I was “planned“ and even if they do somewhat love me they view me as a burden. When fight all the time and are all constantly stressed out. None of our needs are compatible, and the fact that my dad likely also has Autism and my mom also has OCD does not help the situation.
My emotions always too big for other people to handle, or so small it makes them feel like I don’t have any at all. Any semblance of emotional regulation goes out the window the second I’m stressed, which doesn’t take much since I’m constantly overstimulated.
Most of the time, when I try to put myself out there/do something that I genuinely do want to do but am anxious about it goes as bad or worse then I imagined. Even when it doesn’t, I usually get a migraine and am in pain for days.
I see a therapist who is also autistic and I do feel like it genuinely helps, but I also feel like my life sucks and I can’t do anything without being punished.
Is there anything I can do? Is there any chance of things ever getting better?