Are all avoidants borderline emotionally abusive?
My ex left me three weeks ago. Basically he is the textbook definition of a dismissive avoidant. I don't want to have to expound on what happened in this post, but pretty much how your typical relationship with a DA would go is what happened in our relationship.
One thing I've learned recently is the term intermittent reinforcement. This explains why it is so hard for me to get over him despite him treating me like shit. I've read that this is usually done by narcissists and emotionally abusive people as well.
Now one of my biggest hurdles with my ex was the fact that it was impossible to communicate with him. If I communicate through chat, he would ghost me for at least three days. If I communicate with him personally, I would literally have to ask him yes or no questions just for the conversation to actually progress, otherwise its just silence from him. Now, I understand that avoidants need space to process things, but during this space its just complete silence from him. No reassurance, no telling me that we'll resolve it when he's a better headspace. Just complete radio silence from him, leaving me to carry all the emotional weight on my own.
Recently I saw a post of one person venting their feelings of how their partner would just go silent whenever she'd like to communicate. Basically the same situation as I'm in. A lot of the comments have been saying that this is emotional abuse. So did I basically experience emotional abuse as well?